HOLIDAY MOVIES Streaming That Are Naughty And Nice

Horror/sci-fi and fantasy movie fans no longer need to give up their beloved genre when the November/December holiday season arrives. There’s plenty on the various streaming services that combine the Christmas tropes of elves, superheroes and Santa.

Here’s a look at one of our previous lists. https://www.wearemoviegeeks.com/2013/12/top-20-non-traditional-christmas-movies/

After searching around Netflix, Amazon Prime, HBO Max and Shudder, WAMG found an assorted list of films that either takes place during Christmas or during the festive season that are naughty as well as …nice.

But first check out what the streaming services have to offer on YouTube:

VIOLENT NIGHT

To hell with “all is calm.” From 87North, the bare-knuckle producers of Nobody, John Wick, Atomic Blonde, Deadpool 2, Bullet Train and Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw comes a holiday action-comedy that says you should always bet on red.

When a team of mercenaries breaks into a wealthy family compound on Christmas Eve, taking everyone inside hostage, the team isn’t prepared for a surprise combatant: Santa Claus (David Harbour, Black Widow, Stranger Things series) is on the grounds, and he’s about to show why this Nick is no saint.

The film also stars Emmy winner John Leguizamo (John Wick), Cam Gigandet (Without Remorse), Alex Hassell (Cowboy Bebop), Alexis Louder (The Tomorrow War), Edi Patterson (The Righteous Gemstones) and Beverly D’Angelo (National Lampoon’s Vacation franchise). Directed by razor-edged Norwegian director Tommy Wirkola (Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters, Dead Snow franchise).

https://www.amazon.com/gp/video/detail/amzn1.dv.gti.aab489de-9e9b-46ee-9323-00d4bd2fb041?autoplay=0&ref_=atv_cf_strg_wb

SHAZAM

It is set during the holidays and is perfect for both superhero fans as well as movie that you can watch with the whole family.

https://www.hbomax.com/feature/urn:hbo:feature:GYJB-UAPXG4rDKgEAAAAC

A CHRISTMAS HORROR STORY

An anthology filled with tales of zombie elves, ghosts and Krampus that’s horrifically jolly… plus stars William Shatner.

https://www.shudder.com/movies/watch/a-christmas-horror-story/0d2c9cf4d5b4ea00

ROBIN ROBIN

Let us take you back to the Annecy International Animation Festival, 2018 to tell you about the moment when the idea for Robin Robin finally hatched. Picture two young – award-winning animators, Dan Ojari and Mikey Please, who had been sitting on the idea for a Christmas story, involving a Robin raised by loveable rodents, keeping the idea warm for several years.

Bronte Carmichael (Christopher Robin, On Chesil Beach) voices Robin, a beguiling little bird with a slight identity crisis, Oscar® nominee Richard E Grant (Can You Ever Forgive Me?) voices Magpie, an obsessive collector of shiny stuff who takes her on a journey of self-discovery. Golden Globe® winner Gillian Anderson (The Crown, Sex Education) voices the villainous Cat who stands between them, a sandwich and a Christmas star and BAFTA award winning Adeel Akhtar (Utopia, Four Lions, Murdered by My Father ) voices Dad Mouse, a caring but cautious soul who is single-handedly raising a family of five children – one of whom happens to be an adopted Robin.

NETFLIX: https://www.netflix.com/title/81058433

FATMAN

To save his declining business, Chris Cringle (Mel Gibson), also known as Santa Claus, is forced into a partnership with the U.S. military. Making matters worse, Chris gets locked into a deadly battle of wits against a highly skilled assassin (Walton Goggins), hired by a precocious 12-year-old after receiving a lump of coal in his stocking. ‘Tis the season for Fatman to get even, in the action-comedy that keeps on giving.

Funniest scene: Herman the Elf aka #7 (Michael Dyson) discusses elf physiology in the cafeteria with the military personnel.

https://www.peacocktv.com/watch-online/movies/action/fatman/363f9153-b767-373a-8da8-82662804496e

KRAMPUS

If there is one movie you must watch during the holidays, make it Mike Dougherty’s KRAMPUS! As the fabled big guy terrorizes a family, it’s entertaining twist ending, along with killer gingerbread men,  is the reason it makes this list. Listen out for Douglas Pipes’ haunting score too.  

Read our review: https://www.wearemoviegeeks.com/2015/12/krampus-the-review/

https://www.peacocktv.com/stream-movies/krampus

DIE HARD 1 & 2

Yes, they are Christmas movies set during the holidays! John McClane (Bruce Willis) taking on bad guys during Christmas – what more could anyone ask?!

https://www.starz.com/us/en/movies/die-hard-47011

https://www.amazon.com/gp/video/detail/amzn1.dv.gti.b0a9f6fa-a155-4fcf-3779-44b47105d67c?autoplay=0&ref_=atv_cf_strg_wb

RARE EXPORTS: A CHRISTMAS TALE

A true gem of an unconventional Christmas story, read our review: https://www.wearemoviegeeks.com/2013/12/rare-exports-christmas-tale-dvd-review/

“Rare Exports is one of the smartest, funniest and most well thought out films I have seen in quite a while and it is perfect for the holidays. Some other websites that have reviewed this film state that it is not for children’s viewing! Nonsense! Rare Exports, among other things, is a very canny updating of the type of fairy tales told by The Brothers Grimm, it is perfect for children! Snuggle up with your kids on Christmas Eve and enjoy! If this movie doesn’t make them behave nothing will!”

https://www.peacocktv.com/watch-online/movies/rare-exports-a-christmas-tale/59f81e34-a1d5-3f71-b368-431bd6d34713

LETHAL WEAPON

Set during Christmas time, Mel Gibson and Danny Glover give a different meaning to the buddy cop drama set in Los Angeles during the holiday season in director Richard Donner’s movie. And to throw in some extra marshmallows to that hot chocolate, the screenplay is from Shane Black (PREDATOR).

HBO MAX: https://play.hbomax.com/page/urn:hbo:page:GXeldRgFaYLPDfgEAAA8M:type:feature

PROMETHEUS

Okay so hear us out. Apparently hundreds of years from now, set in deep space, we will still be celebrating the season by decorating a Christmas Tree while searching for “Engineers” and “Xenomorphs” which was an interesting human touch in Ridley Scott’s PROMETHEUS.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQDSNW1INzI

https://www.amazon.com/gp/video/detail/amzn1.dv.gti.22a9f764-f160-ff25-6ca6-5b0fbf456746?autoplay=0&ref_=atv_cf_strg_wb

SANTA’S SLAY (2005)

‘TWAS THE FRIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS… Hate to be the bearer of bad news — especially at Christmas but you’ve all been lied to… Santa (former WWE star Bill Goldberg) is not a jolly old man with a big smile handing out toys to good children, he’s the son of Satan who lost a bet 1,000 years ago and was forced into spreading Christmas cheer. Now his 1,000 years are up and he’s after one thing…REVENGE. Finally, his true colours are showing, and he’s taking out his anger on the residents of a small American town. Teenager Nicholas Yuleson finds out that his grandfather is actually the angel who won the bet and now that it is over, Santa Claus wants payback. Nicholas and his girlfriend Mary (Lost star Emilie De Ravin) try to escape from the Killer Claus and find a way to stop his reign of terror before it’s the end of Christmas as we know it.

SANTA’S SLAY has one of the funniest opening scenes in a horror movie. As Bloody Disgusting puts it, Evil Santa starts off by “slaughtering the likes of Fran Drescher, Chris Kattan, and James Caan. He even kicks a dog into a ceiling fan after massacring the unlucky C-list stars.” https://bloody-disgusting.com/videos/3474950/kill-week-dinner-party-massacre-santas-slay/

https://www.amazon.com/gp/video/detail/amzn1.dv.gti.faa9f789-fbc2-04eb-f0b9-238a3f5b5000?autoplay=0&ref_=atv_cf_strg_wb

THE NIGHT BEFORE

“These three not-so-wise men will stuff your stockings with lots of laughs and a bit of heart on THE NIGHT BEFORE.” Starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Seth Rogen and Anthony Mackie, the tagline read, This holiday season, don’t miss these 3 dudes, bros, and ride or die homies have the ultimate last Christmas night out! Director Jonathan Levine’s movie won’t disappoint.”

Review: https://www.wearemoviegeeks.com/2015/11/the-night-before-2015-the-review/

Amazon to rent: https://www.amazon.com/gp/video/detail/amzn1.dv.gti.88a9f797-944c-0743-7f09-58e92c315293?autoplay=1&ref_=atv_cf_strg_wb

BETTER WATCH OUT

When you think the suburbs, you think safety, but this holiday night the suburbs are anything but safe. Ashley (Olivia DeJonge) thought this babysitting job was going to be an easy night, but the night takes a turn when dangerous intruders break in and terrorize her and the twelve-year-old boy, Luke (Levi Miller), she’s caring for. Ashley defends her charge to the best of her ability only to discover this is no normal home invasion in this off-beat 2017 movie.

https://www.peacocktv.com/watch-online/movies/horror/better-watch-out/5ae04488-3118-39e6-9dc4-281691cf455b

FRED CLAUS

Vince Vaughn’s “Fred Claus” is all sorts of bitter at the success of his brother… wait for it… Santa Claus (Paul Giamatti). After growing up in saintly Nick’s shadow, Fred becomes a grouch who’s lost his belief in Christmas. Then, one magical December, Fred flies north (first class via reindeer) to find brother Nick is in trouble: a scheming efficiency expert is out to shut down Christmas forever!

Most hilarious scene of the film: Fed-up with the workshop’s DJ Donnie “you’re acting like an untrained dog” playing nothing but “Here Comes Santa Claus”, Fred enters Donnie’s booth, stops the record, and tosses him into a cabinet. Fred and the elves start partying to “Rubberneckin'”.

Elves cheerin’!

HBO Max: https://play.hbomax.com/feature/urn:hbo:feature:GXt6Z6wemNSrDVQEAAAAL

SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS

As WAMG wrote of the film:

“Even though SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS is often listed as one of the ‘worst movies ever made’, it’s not as bad as you would think. The story is simple: Santa Claus is kidnapped by Martians to provide joy and toys to the children of Mars when they become overly depressed. Sounds like an ingredient for one of the worst movies of all time, right? Wrong! This movie is pure entertainment from beginning to end! It doesn’t ever get REALLY boring, instead having long stretches of goofy comedy that isn’t funny for the right reasons. The acting is mediocre at best, but I did like the sets they used. Very surrealistic, in my opinion. There is plenty of great dialogue to laugh at (i.e, “I wasn’t sleeping! I just haven’t been able to sleep these past few nights…I forgot how! So I was just practicing!”), most of it coming from clumsy Droppo, “the laziest man on Mars!”. The little children who are kidnapped by the Martians are a mix of wooden and dedicated. Of course, some scenes’ inadequacy are inexcusable! The polar bear costume is obviously fake and the Martian guns are Whammo Air Blasters that freeze people (who manage to keep moving and blinking, for some reason)! And it stars a 10-year old Pia Zadora as ‘Girmar’!

Scenes to watch for: the Martians use the robot Torg to kidnap Santa, but Santa makes him into a toy!; the ‘suspenseful’ space door scene; the ‘amazing’ toy conveyor belt; Droppo passing as Santa (antennae and all); and the final showdown between Voldar and Santa, utilizing bubbles, water guns, soldiers, and other conveniently placed toys! SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS is pure entertainment, in my opinion, and all those who speak against should be sent to Mars!”

Don’t miss SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS https://pluto.tv/on-demand/movies/santa-claus-conquers-the-martians-1963-1-1?utm_medium=textsearch&utm_source=google

SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS Screens at Schlafly Bottleworks December 7th


“Santa, you will never return to Earth, you belong to Mars now.”


SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS screens Thursday December 7th at 7:00pm at Schlafly Bottleworks (7260 Southwest Avenue Maplewood, MO 63143). 


What on Earth would we do if martians invaded and kidnapped Santa Claus for their own? Find out Thursday November 7th at Schlafly Bottleworks when The  A Film Series presents a screening of the 1964 Christmas classic SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS!


Even though SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS is often listed as one of the ‘worst movies ever made’, it’s not as bad as you would think. The story is simple: Santa Claus is kidnapped by Martians to provide joy and toys to the children of Mars when they become overly depressed. Sounds like an ingredient for one of the worst movies of all time, right? Wrong! This movie is pure entertainment from beginning to end! It doesn’t ever get REALLY boring, instead having long stretches of goofy comedy that isn’t funny for the right reasons. The acting is mediocre at best, but I did like the sets they used. Very surrealistic, in my opinion. There is plenty of great dialogue to laugh at (i.e, “I wasn’t sleeping! I just haven’t been able to sleep these past few nights…I forgot how! So I was just practicing!”), most of it coming from clumsy Droppo, “the laziest man on Mars!”. The little children who are kidnapped by the Martians are a mix of wooden and dedicated. Of course, some scenes’ inadequacy are inexcusable! The polar bear costume is obviously fake and the Martian guns are Whammo Air Blasters that freeze people (who manage to keep moving and blinking, for some reason)! And it stars a 10-year old Pia Zadora as ‘Girmar’!


Scenes to watch for: the Martians use the robot Torg to kidnap Santa, but Santa makes him into a toy!; the ‘suspenseful’ space door scene; the ‘amazing’ toy conveyor belt; Droppo passing as Santa (antennae and all); and the final showdown between Voldar and Santa, utilizing bubbles, water guns, soldiers, and other conveniently placed toys! SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS is pure entertainment, in my opinion, and all those who speak against should be sent to Mars!


Don’t miss SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS December 7th at Schlafly Bottleworks

A Facebook invite for the event can be found HERE
https://www.facebook.com/events/128635064508094/
$6  for the screening. A yummy variety of food from Schlafly’s kitchen is available as are plenty of pints of their famous home-brewed suds.

“Culture Shock” is the name of a film series here in St. Louis that is the cornerstone project of a social enterprise that is an ongoing source of support for Helping Kids Together(http://www.helpingkidstogether.com/) a St. Louis based social enterprise dedicated to building cultural diversity and social awareness among young people through the arts and active living.

The films featured for “Culture Shock” demonstrate an artistic representation of culture shock materialized through mixed genre and budgets spanning music, film and theater. Through ‘A Film Series’ working relationship with Schlafly Bottleworks, they seek to provide film lovers with an offbeat mix of dinner and a movie opportunities.

Review: ‘Cinematic Titanic’

Travis:

What on Earth would we do if martians invaded and kidnapped Santa Claus for their own? If you were at the Family Arena on Saturday, November 1, you would have laughed your kiester off at the absurdity of the situation. That was the night that ‘Cinematic Titanic’ made it’s much-anticipated appearance in St. Louis, drawing scores of Mystery Science Theater and Cinematic Titanic fans out of the woodwork for a “healthy” dose of the ole riffing of BAD movies.

On the docket that evening was none other than the holiday favorite ‘Santa Claus Conquers the Martians’… timely as an early lead into the holiday season. The film is so terrible, it’s a blast to watch just for the cheese factor, but toss in the cast of ‘Cinematic Titanic’ and you have one hysterical evening of laugh-til-it-hurts holiday fun. The cast is comprised entirely of original members of the ginormously popular, epically ingenious TV show ‘Mystery Science Theater’ that includes Trace Beaulieu, Frank Conniff, Mary Jo Pehl, J. Elvis Weinstein and the creator of ‘MST3K’ and ‘Cinematic Titanic’ Joel Hodgson.

First things first… the event kicked off with a “warmup artist” named Todd Carlin. I’d never seen a warmup artist perform before, but apparently they’re quite popular out west for getting crowds worked up before they shoot a TV show. Todd’s jokes were hit and miss, but overall he was a pleasantly humorous lead into the main event that made killing time bearable. The best part was when J. Elvis joined him on stage with his guitar and the comedy became musical. Their best bit was about these new radio stations that play “whatever they want” as Todd commented on how we’re getting so lazy we don’t bother even having formats in radio anymore. The musically enhanced performance of what a station that only played the parts of songs we like was absolutely laugh-a-licious!

But I digress… you want to know about the meat and potatoes, the heart of the beast, the main event! Well, if you weren’t there you missed it! (Obviously) The stage was setup with a large digital projection screen that actually looked great, combined with the hi-tech sound system of the arena. The cast positioned themselves on stage and proceeded to *riff  the movie  right there in front of us, live and in your face. The sound engineer did a commendable job at managing the performer’s audio in contrast to the recorded audio track on the movie itself. Being a live event, there were a few instances where the two audio sources collided, making it a bit more difficult to understand, but that comes with the lack of control one has in a live event such as this. Believe me, the humor was never lost as the audience remained fully attentive for anything and everything that came from the glorious voices of bad movie dissension.

The ‘Cinematic Titanic’ crew was on their A-game during the event, never missing a beat and delivering dinger after dinger. It was a beautiful thing! Anyone not familiar with this type of humor, may be reading this and wondering what’s so great about watching other people do what we can do late at night when drunk… well, you have to experience it to understand. While these events are live, they are not ad-libbed and the performers aren’t drunk (to the best of my knowledge). These shows are carefully scripted and tweaked to maximize laughability. These comedic masterminds waste not a single opportunity to tear the movie apart. These are professionals. Do  try this at home, just don’t expect to get the same results…

If you missed the incredible event, or if you loved it so much you want to hit the road and travel to every stop on the tour like some crazed obsessed groupie, here  are the next show dates and location:

12/18-12/20/08 @ LAKESHORE THEATER – Chicago, IL

Check out the official ‘Cinematic Titanic’ website here.

* Riff -Â  (rf) A clever or inventive commentary or remark.

Overall: 4.5 Stars