We Are Movie Geeks All things movies… as noted by geeks.

October 13, 2008

What did we do to deserve this?

Another ill-conceived spoof movie is fast-tracking its way through the Hollywood poop shoot. It’s sure to stand the test of time as a new classic among the likes of ‘Epic Movie,’ ‘Disaster Movie,’ ‘Date Movie,’ ‘Superhero Movie,’ ‘Meet The Spartans’ and ‘Not Another Teen Movie.’

The title of this new masterpiece is “Not Another Not Another Movie” and it is sure to smell as bad as all those other pieces of shit that plopped out before it.

I only wish I were joking.

Here’s the plot summary from IMDB:

“In this non- stop hilarious ride we follow a struggling Movie Studio that is willing to do anything to make a buck even if it means ruining its reputation, and running the Movie Industry into the ground. This film has everything that an audience wants from a LAUGH OUT LOUD COMEDY by taking a no-holds barred attack on the Spoof Genre from Blockbuster Action movies to Dramas and Documentaries to Popular Television shows.”

Rumored cast members include Chevy Chase, Michael Madsen and Burt Reynolds. It should hit theaters sometime next year.

So… it’s going to be a spoof movie that spoofs spoof movies that spoof real movies.

I just threw up in my mouth a little.

JCVD starts kicking ass on November 7th!

Filed under: Action,Coming to Theaters,Trailer — Tags: , , — Nick @ 10:56 am

I covered this film a couple of months ago but it is finally making its appearance here in the states, beginning with a limited release on November 7th. It is getting pretty rave reviews from the festival circuit and it looks like a really fun – and funny – movie.

Let’s check out the trailer…

JCVD Trailer

October 11, 2008

Local Flavor: Open auditions for the ladies of STL …

Filed under: Casting,Horror,Indie,Local Flavor,st louis — Tags: , , — Nick @ 7:15 pm

We\'ve come for your daughter, Chuck.

via Hack Movies and its founder, Kevin Strange:

Ladies, Ladies, Ladies! This opportunity is for YOU !!!

Have you always wanted to break into the entertainment industry but never knew how?   I don’t have one fucking clue how to help you with that.

What I can do is offer you a paid gig – with Hack Movies – for one day’s on screen work to perform in a safe, fun and artistic environment.

We are currently casting roles for our upcoming feature film.   We are seeking ST LOUIS (and metro east Illinois) AREA LADIES ONLY!!!!!†¨Ã¢â‚¬ ¨ This casting call is not for the faint of heart!   Our films are OFFENSIVE COMEDY in the vein of Troma and John Waters. We simulate rape, torture, mutilation, and you will be covered in a fake version of every body fluid known to man!†¨Ã¢â‚¬ ¨ As if that wasn’t reason enough to sign up here are a few more benefits to joining the Hack Crew:

*Credit on a Feature film that will see a DVD release by the end of the year, and be featured in film festivals across the country.

*Automatic IMDB credit. (Check out our page!)

*It’s a PAID gig!

If it sounds like you have the stomach to kick it with the most ruthless fucking underground film company in the world, contact Kevin Strange via this website, or at mail@hackmovies.com

October 8, 2008

This week @ Diabolik DVD…

Filed under: Cult Classics,DVD — Tags: , , , — Nick @ 3:11 am

This is the first of a new weekly column where I’ll spotlight the more eclectic offerings in the world of home entertainment. This is courtesy of the fine folks over at DiabolikDVD.com and if you have the time then you should stop by their site;Â  it’s owned and run by film buffs and collectors. They specialize in hard-to-find releases; horror; Asian cinema; Art House; Adult; and Cult Classics you haven’t even heard of.

This week I’m spotlighting three DVD’s. Click the box art for more detailed information:

Subversive Cinema released their 5-disc set of ‘Dust Devil’ in 2006 and it is truly the definitive version of this remarkable film. The story centers on a lonely wife’s trek across the African desert and the shape-shifting killer that pursues her. It’s a dreamlike horror film, described by Steve Beard of The Face as “Tarkovsky on acid.” Included in this set are three documentaries by the director: ‘Voice of the Moon,’ ‘The Secret Glory’ and ‘The White Darkness.’Â  

‘Dust Devil’ is the brainchild of Richard Stanley, a South African-born filmmaker and all around cinema badass whose output isn’t as limited as you’re led to believe: He’s directed ten movies and has at least two in various stages of production. Visit his “unofficial” website to learn more about the man and his projects.  

So, if you consider yourself a film geek, then do yourself a favor and BUY THIS MOVIE.

(more…)

September 28, 2008

Review: ‘Fear(s) of the Dark’

Filed under: Animated,Early Review,Foreign,Horror,Review — Tags: — Nick @ 1:22 am

What an absolutely wonderful film!

This animated feature is composed of several different story lines by some of the world’s most renowned graphic artists. Each of the stories is a different meditation on fear; what scares you in a darkened room might not scare me, so the filmmakers try to cover their bases and they hit a horror equivalent to a home run.

So often a horror film relies on the easy scares, the “jump† scares or the threat of violent gore, so it is a relief to see a film that relies on something different: mood and atmosphere. Like a Val Lewton classic, this film is drenched in shadows and existential dread.

Feature filmmakers dabbling in live-action horror would be wise to watch and learn from this powerfully suggestive horror film. This is real horror, real terror… the suggestive stuff. The kind of stuff that stays with you long after you’ve left the theater and gives you a slight shiver.

I’d like to make special mention of the film score by Laurent Perez. It’s perfect, just like the film it accompanies.

Fear(s) of the Dark opens in limited release starting Oct. 24 in NYC & Oct. 31 in L.A.

[Rating: 5/5]

September 27, 2008

Review: ‘Splinter’

Filed under: Early Review,Horror,Indie,Monsters,Movies,Review — Tags: , — Nick @ 5:13 pm

Cast & Crew

Shea Whigham… Dennis Farell
Paulo Costanzo… Seth Belzer
Jill Wagner… Polly Watt

Written by Kai Barry, Ian Shorr & Toby Wilkins
Directed by Toby Wilkins

‘Splinter’ has a really innovative monster, something that exists between ‘The Thing’ and ‘The Body Snatchers.’ You’ve seen this kind of monster before but never quite like this, and what it does to your body is very, very unpleasant. The film’s story, however, is never as innovative as the antagonist creature: A handful of people are trapped within an enclosed space, fighting to survive. It’s a perfect example of formula storytelling, but it works because in a movie like this the story should service the monster. Dispense with the trappings of a laborious story and let’s get down to the mayhem. ‘Splinter’ has mayhem to spare.

I’m not in the habit of spoiling a movie, so I can’t really go into much detail regarding the monster. I will say that it doesn’t really dissolve you like The Blob or assimilate you like The Thing, nor is replacing you like a Body Snatcher. When this critter gets a hold on you, then you are in it for the long haul… unless you are a fan of severe emergency amputation, but even after that, what do you do with the pieces you cut off?

Movies like ‘Splinter,’ because they are light on story and heavy on monster, have a tendency to also be light on acting and rely on their thespians to simply react instead of act. You have a lot of reacting here, but ‘Splinter’ has a lot of honest to goodness acting, too. My initial draw to this film was Paulo Costanzo, the Canadian actor whom I first noticed in the comedy ‘Road Trip’ and much more recently headlined ‘Everything’s Gone Green.’ He’s a talented guy that exudes an immediate affable charm and that talent is put to good use in ‘Splinter,’ where Paulo plays a PhD student whose character traits hew much closer to the damsel in distress than anything recognizable as a hero. He doesn’t know how to put up a tent, can’t drive stick and the guy even breaks down and cries. He’s likable and believable as a hero despite this and I really attribute that to Costanzo as well as the films trio of screenwriters; they imbue the hero with an equal amount of brains and balls. Yes, ‘Splinter’ may be light on story, but it is strong in character.

Jill Wagner plays Costanzo’s girlfriend and she displays all the alpha male traits that are missing from the hero. She’s take charge and very strong. Early in the film, it is Wagner’s character that is the strongest. When the couple finds themselves the victims of a kidnapping, it is Wagner’s character that keeps the two of them in the criminal’s good graces, because she is the take charge alpha male that her boyfriend is not. It isn’t until her survival instincts turn to morally ambiguous desperation that Costanzo steps up to the challenge of the hero. That he saves them with brains and not brawn is another welcome change of pace.

The actor that surprised me the most is Shea Whigham. He plays the human antagonist turned reluctant savior. So very often a film like this makes the human antagonist an insufferable ass, the kind of person that you want to see get decimated by the monster. Shea’s character definitely starts that way, but his arc makes him a person that the audience can and will feel closer and closer to, so when decimation rears its ugly head, then you really feel for the guy. No one wants to go through what this guy goes through. Shea is not your typical leading man and his distinct features remind me of a strange mix of Robert Carlyle and Steve Buscemi. His character reveals quite a lot during the course of the film and because of that he sticks with you after the whole things said and done. It was such a disarming performance that I immediately thought to look him up on IMDB and was happy to see that he is a very busy actor: eight projects in 2008 and another three already in post for 2009. I expect to see this guy turn out some great performances.

This is a first feature for the director, Toby Wilkins, and he shows a lot of promise. His next feature is a sequel in ‘The Grudge’ franchise, so let’s hope he can rise above the material at hand. I have faith in him, though, and so does Sam Raimi because Raimi picked him for the project based on nothing more than a short film that Wilkins made.

Support this film when it comes out, it’s the kind of original horror the big screen doesn’t see enough of.

‘Splinter’ is being released this fall through Magnet Films, the genre arm of Magnolia Pictures.

[rating: 4/5]

September 24, 2008

Review: ‘Forever Strong’

Filed under: Drama,Review,Sports Movies — Tags: , — Nick @ 3:05 am

FOREVER STRONG

Cast & Crew:
Gary Cole… Coach Larry Gelwix
Sean Faris… Rick Penning
Neal McDonough… Coach Richard Penning

Written by David Pliler
Directed by Ryan Little

Rick Penning (Faris) plays high school rugby but a drunk driving accident lands him in juvenile detention, which leads to events that force him to play against the team his father (McDonough) coaches at the national championship.

The three lead actors lend their fine performances to a screenplay that is pretty predictable but if you can get past the “been-there-done-that” feeling, then you may take a shine to this modest little film. I imagine that FOREVER STRONG will appeal to the same crowd that enjoyed like-minded films such as GRIDIRON GANG, FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS or even RUDY.

But… if you don’t dig on slightly predictable sports films with not-so-subtle positive messages, well why would you think of watching this? It’s not your bag, baby.

Before I start feeling too kind, let me share with you a couple of problems this film has. One, what the hell is rugby? If you don’t know much about rugby going into the film, then you won’t know much more when you are coming out, except that it must be much tougher than football. That’s a sentiment repeated by the characters ad nauseum. Two, when did all contemporary directors decide that action scenes need to be in slow-mo or filmed in that documentary fashion that retards the viewers perception of whatever the hell is actually happening on the screen?  

Oh, and I should bring this up, too. You know the joke about how if a character is going to die in a movie, then it’s going to be the black guy? Well, the black guy dies in this movie. Not entirely surprising, but still disappointing because Michael J. Pagan’s character is a high point in the film.

But I digress…

If you’re looking for a completely innocuous time at the theater I suppose you could do a lot worse, but if you’re a more discerning viewer then you may want to test your patience elsewhere.

[rating:2.5/5]

September 18, 2008

Review: ‘A Thousand Years of Good Prayers’

Filed under: Drama,Indie,Review — Tags: , , — Nick @ 4:16 pm

A THOUSAND YEARS OF GOOD PRAYERSÂ  (Magnolia Pictures)

Cast & Crew:

Henry O… Mr. Shi
Feihong Yu… Yilan
Vida Ghahremani… Madam
directed by Wayne Wang

A Thousand Years of Good Prayers tells the story of Mr. Shi, an elderly Chinese, and his American immigrant daughter, Yilan. It is a clash of culture and language, as the two of them try to reconcile their differences.  

Communication is key in this wonderful, intimate drama. A single conversation can consist of equal parts Mandarin Chinese, Persian, and English. Despite the language barriers, these characters come to understand each other and we understand them. That this is even possible is a testament to the direction of Wayne Wang, and to the performances of Henry O, Feihong Yu and Vida Ghahremani.

Henry O carries much of the film, and he turns in a performance that is both touching and humorous. If you enjoyed the relationship between the English-speaking hitman and the French-speaking Haitian in Ghost Dog,  then you’ll have an idea of what to expect as Mr. Shi wanders the American landscape.

This film is a welcome return to form for director Wayne Wang, who dazzled the indie scene with films like ‘The Joy Luck Club,’ ‘Smoke’ and ‘The Center of the World.’

A Thousand Years of Good Prayers  opens in New York on Sept. 19 and Sept. 26 in Los Angeles.

[rating:4/5]

Midnight screening in LA: ‘THE KEEP’

Filed under: 80's,Cult Classics — Tags: — Nick @ 2:57 pm

Movie geeks in LA can check out this early Michael Mann film on Saturday, September 20th at midnight. It’s playing as a part of New Beverly Midnights at the New Beverly Cinema. Tickets cost $7.00.

‘The Keep’ was released in 1983, and it has yet to have a proper DVD release, so join me this weekend and let’s watch it the old fashioned way: On the big screen!

The movie takes place during WWII, and is about a detachment of the German army that accidentally let’s loose a pretty pissed off entity (see above picture). I don’t know a whole lot more, because I’ve never seen the movie.

It does have a score by Tangerine Dream, though, which is totally sweet in a movie geek sorta way.

I think this film needs to be “re-discovered,” so meet me this Saturday and let’s brave ‘The Keep’ together.  

September 13, 2008

Something funny for bored Movie Geeks …

Filed under: Comedy,Not News — Tags: — Nick @ 10:08 pm

The above picture has nothing to do with the intent of the article, aside from being amusing.

I ask you, do you enjoy remixes of movie trailers? Want to watch some funny videos?

Follow this link to ‘Toptenz.net,’ a website dedicated to – wait for it… top ten articles!

I found it on ‘gorillamask.net,’ a website that you should have bookmarked.

Go forth, and be amused.

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