Ryan Guzman – We Are Movie Geeks

Sylvester Stallone in BACKTRACE Available on Blu-ray February 19th

The lone surviving thief of a violent armored-car robbery is sprung from a high-security facility and administered an experimental drug in the action-thriller Backtrace, arriving on Blu-ray™ (plus Digital), DVD, and Digital on February 19 from Lionsgate. This film is currently available On Demand.

This trailer looks amazing!

Starring Ryan Guzman, three-time Oscar® nominee Sylvester Stallone (1976, Best Actor/Best Screenplay, Rocky; 2015, Best Supporting Actor, Creed, 2015), and Golden Globe nominee Matthew Modine (Best Actor – Limited Series or Television Motion Picture, What the Deaf Man Heard, 1998), the Backtrace Blu-ray and DVD includes the featurette “Making Backtrace” and cast/crew interviews, and will be available for the suggested retail price of $22.99 and $19.98, respectively.

EVERYBODY WANTS SOME!! Review

It’s not easy to make something seem so effortless… so easygoing. Twenty-five years after his breakout hit SLACKER, Richard Linklater still proves he’s a master of the “hang-out” film. Even when you may not even like the characters – as might be the case with this outing – Linklater has a way of showing characters simply hanging out, shooting-the-shit, and being themselves, and yet presenting them in a way that is absolutely fascinating. And what makes it all the more remarkable is that with films like SLACKER, DAZED AND CONFUSED, THE BEFORE TRILOGY, and now EVERYBODY WANTS SOME!!, he hits it out of the park every time. He makes it look like a game of T-ball, when really it’s a lot harder to nail than that.

On the surface, EVERYBODY WANTS SOME!! is a film about a bunch of college jocks in 1980 drinking beer and trying to pick up girls the weekend before the semester and baseball season starts up. But within the banter and playful ribbing are hints of Linklater examining this group’s need for competition. Even off the field, these guys are making it a game to score with chicks or cutting a baseball in half in the backyard with an axe or playing a game of knuckles in the dining room right next to someone playing an early handheld videogame. It’s all a testosterone-fueled game.

With a large ensemble cast made up of almost entirely men in ringer tees, short shorts, and mustaches, it’s a little tricky to stand out in the lineup. However, one standout player is Wyatt Russell as Willoughby. He’s a burst of energy every time he’s on screen with his affable demeanor and quick remarks. Although she’s the only female lead, Zoey Duetch makes the most out of very little. Beverly’s the artistic and theatrical type but goes beyond the singing in the street, jazz-hands stereotype. That being said, her introduction shows that she’s not afraid to fire back at unwanted advances from the boys. Having been immersed in the theater and art world, I can attest that she feels more authentic then the script gives her credit for. I only wish that her scenes opposite our leading man Jake (Blake Jenner) didn’t feel so shoehorned in at times. As a result, the film only kinda looks like a boy’s club.

Even with the strong air of puffed chests and machismo, EVERYBODY WANTS SOME!! isn’t endorsing the troubling excuse that “boys will be boys.” In fact, Linklater is more keen to emasculate their inflated personas and confidence by showing them strike out with the ladies and even play dress-up – revealing that they are actually less like macho men and more like a group of lost and unsure boys. You see the gang go to a country line-dancing club, a punk show, and even a costume party with the theater kids, all of which they dress in specific outfits and act the part to fit a certain mold. Nevertheless, the homoeroticism undertone never comes to a complete boil.

In the end, much like so many of his best films, Linklater shows that a person is more than a stereotype. With DAZED AND CONFUSED, a stoner is more than the funny things he says when he’s high. With BERNIE, a killer can have a mild mannered heart of gold. With BOYHOOD, a young boy can be more aware of his surroundings than his age would imply. With EVERYBODY WANTS SOME!!, the jocks are more than just meatheads. Sure, they might not know what’s going on in those heads, but maybe after a few more rounds of beer they might figure it out. And even if they don’t, it’ll be a lot of fun to hang out with them as they try to win at life.

Overall rating: 4.5 out of 5

EVERYBODY WANTS SOME!! is now playing in limited theaters

WAMG Interview: Three of the Stars of EVERYBODY WANTS SOME!!

Twenty-three years after the beloved cult classic DAZED AND CONFUSED was released, writer/director Richard Linklater is giving us a spiritual sequel in the form of EVERYBODY WANTS SOME!! which opens in theatres April 8th. While DAZED AND CONFUSED gave us a very slice of life look at High School in the 70s at the end of the school year, EVERYBODY WANTS SOME!! gives us a brief glimpse of College in the 80s at the beginning of the semester for a group of freshman. Set in 1980, the film follows the hilarious shenanigans of a Texas college baseball team during the weekend before class starts. We Are Movie Geeks caught up with three of the cast members ahead of the movie’s release. Blake Jenner (Jake), Tyler Hoechlin (McReynolds) and Ryan Guzman (Roper) sat down with Tom Stockman to talk about their film and what’s it’s like working for Richard Linklater.

Interview conducted by Tom Stockman April 4th, 2016

We Are Movie Geeks: Congratulations on EVERYBODY WANTS SOME!! It’s excellent and I think a movie that’s gonna live on for a long time.

Blake Jenner: Thanks a lot.

Ryan Guzman: Yes, we’re excited about it.

WAMG: What does everybody want? What does that title mean?

Tyler Hoechlin: I think it means that, when you first go off to school, there’s never a time where you more want a piece of the world for yourself. It’s a time in your life when you’re sort of naïve but you’re full of enough arrogance that you think you can do anything.

BJ: Yes, there are so many options about what you can do and who you can be. You kind of use the excuse that you’re finding yourself as an excuse to do whatever the heck you want.

WAMG: Was that the title of the film while you were filming it?

TH: No, THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT was the title while we were filming it.

WAMG: But that’s not a van Halen song.

RG: But the title we chose has two exclamation points so that makes it special.

WAMG: You guys have great chemistry in the movie. How did that work? Did you guys all live together?

BJ: Yes, we lived in this cabin all together for about two weeks. Bunkbeds and everything.

WAMG: Who was the most obnoxious to live with?

BJ: Tyler!

RG: Tyler, yes! What a prima donna that guy is!

WAMG: Who was the class clown?

BJ: Everybody had their moments.

TH: You can tell we don’t take each other seriously.

WAMG: How did you guys get cast in the film.?

RG: There was something of a three-round process. First there was an interview where we had to figure out who we were in high school and college. Then there was some videos of us to see if we could play baseball. Things like batting cages and pitching contest.

WAMG: Were you guys fans of Richard Linklater’s films before you heard about this project?

TH: Oh yes, but I rewatched all of his films when I was going to audition.

BJ: Yes, I think BOYHOOD is just an awesome film.

WAMG: What was the most interesting thing that you guys learn about the 1980s from making this film?

RG: How short the shorts were!

TH: Yes, those left nothing to the imagination! It’s like Rick said on the set; ‘the more things change the more they stay the same’. Other than the clothes and some of the music, to him it was just a universal, timeless thing of guys being guys and getting to know each other.

BJ: That type of camaraderie isn’t much different today than it was back in the 80s. But Rick is the one who had the background on the 1980s.

WAMG: Was there a lot of improvisation?

BJ: Not really, Not in the sense of the written word. But there was some improv during rehearsal, and of course that eventually made its way into the script but by the time we were filming we stuck to the written word.

TH: The three-week rehearsal was kind of a workshop. We could improvise and try things out and if we liked that it may or may not have ended up in the script. There are only a couple of moments in the final film that I would say are improvised.

WAMG: What do you guys think about the positive reception this film has received?

BJ: We’re very humbled.

TH: Yes, it’s great.

WAMG: What were your college experiences like compared to your characters?

TH: I don’t remember. It’s all a blur! Ryan and I both did play college baseball so a bit of it was going back to the glory days and reliving that life but I got to have a different kind of fun for this one.

RG: I was always hyper-aware of the consequences of partying like that in college. This experience reminded me of all that.

BJ: I didn’t go to college. I went straight from high school to LA to pursue acting so making this movie was like the freshman experience for me. But I did have a lot of experience playing football and basketball

RG: Blake is deceptively strong. You can’t tell but he has massive muscles under that shirt.

WAMG: Was there a mustache wrangler on the set?

BJ: Yes I think Tyler’s mustache had so much personality that it needed its own SAG card!

WAMG: What’s next for you guys?

TH: Well, just this press tour but I think I’m in a good spot where I can wait for my next project. But this has been such a great experience, being part of a project that I can truly believe in.

RG: I have a couple of offers and projects up in the air right now I just need to see were one lands. I just shot a pilot for ABC about the true story of Wendy Walker and Mike Geragos who used to work for Michael Jackson. It’s about his trial. I’m also working on a project about Robert Guerrero, the Mexican American boxer who won four different titles while his wife was suffering from cancer.

BJ: I shot a movie for producer James L Brooks called EDGE OF 17. And I’m working on a project that I wrote called BILLY BOY.

WAMG: Congrats again on EVERYBODY WANTS SOME!! And good luck with all of your future projects.

Win Passes To The Advance Screening Of EVERYBODY WANTS SOME !! In St. Louis

A “spiritual sequel” to DAZED AND CONFUSED set in the world of 1980 college life, Everybody Wants Some is a comedy that follows a group of friends as they navigate their way through the freedoms and responsibilities of unsupervised adulthood. Get ready for the best weekend ever.

The cast features Will Brittain, Zoey Deutch, Ryan Guzman, Tyler Hoechlin, Blake Jenner, J. Quinton Johnson, Glen Powell, Wyatt Russell.

From director Richard Linklater, EVERYBODY WANTS SOME!! opens in theaters on April 8.

WAMG invites you to enter for a chance to win a pass (Good for 2) to the advance screening of EVERYBODY WANTS SOME!! on Tuesday, April 5 at 7PM in the St. Louis area.

We will contact the winners by email.

Answer the following:

In DAZED AND CONFUSED, Matthew McConaughey states the line “_______, _______, _______!” in the scene at the Top Notch drive-in. It was his first line ever spoken on camera in the first scene of his entire film career.

What is the line?

TO ENTER, ADD YOUR NAME, ANSWER AND EMAIL IN OUR COMMENTS SECTION BELOW.

OFFICIAL RULES:

1. YOU MUST BE IN THE ST. LOUIS AREA THE DAY OF THE SCREENING.

2. A pass does not guarantee a seat at a screening. Seating is on a first-come, first served basis. The theater is overbooked to assure a full house. The theater is not responsible for overbooking.

3. No purchase necessary.

EVERYBODY WANTS SOME!! is rated R for language throughout, sexual content, drug use and some nudity.

www.everybodywantssomemovie.com

JEM AND THE HOLOGRAMS – The Review

No one else is the same… Em is her name! But, does the new Jem live up to her 80’s legend? Now you have two ways to find out! Not only will you find my written review below, but I also shot and edited a review just for you! (Go easy on me since I’ve never shot myself before!) It’s a ‘choose you’re own adventure’ kind of review!

Jerrica Benton, a small town girl is thrust into the spotlight after being discovered on YouTube, and is on the ride of her life with her sisters. The problem is that her video was posted under the alias ‘Jem,’ and now that’s who the world wants. Jerrica is now on a mission to find her voice in the world, and getting into mischief along the way.

I’m not going to lie. I was worried about this when I saw the trailer. As a child of the 80’s, so much had changed about my beloved Jem! Why did she have brown hair? How was she going to turn into Jem if she wasn’t using synergy to do so? Where was Rio’s sweet purple hair? Well kids… I’m here to tell you that I enjoyed this film. Sure, Jon M. Chu changed a lot when it comes to the sci-fi side of things, but he transformed Jem into something that young kids today can relate to. He adapted her. Instead of synergy creating the hologram of Jem, Jerrica was pressured to present Jem to the world at all times… Jem was her hologram to the outside world, and on social media to hide behind. Clever Chu… Clever.

The casting in this film was wonderful. Aubrey Peeples is not only talented, but incredibly likable. I’ve gotta hand it to Chu. He went out of his way to find actors with musical talent. Stefanie Scott, Aurora Perrineau, Hayley Kiyoko, and Ryan Guzman really impressed me in the film. My biggest kudos goes to Juliette Lewis in her portrayal of Erica Raymond. In the cartoon, the head of Starlight Enterprises was Eric, a man. Not in 2015! Juliette Lewis is incredible to watch on-screen, and I’m hoping to see her rock out in a sequel since her real-life band is amazing! Add Molly Ringwald into the mix and you’ve got one solid cast!

The songs don’t stick to one genre, but dammit they are catchy. The song ‘Youngblood’ still creeps into my head. The songs go from more pop, to pop-rock, to an indie Zooey Dechanel type of ballad. There’s sure to be something for everyone!

Now, what comes up must come down. I do have a few gripes about the film. The second act is boring, and kind of unnecessary. Also, why does Rio have to sneak into his mothers company? He works there! It’s ridiculous and makes zero sense. While we are on the subject of Rio, where was his purple hair? My Barbies dated Rio instead of Ken as a kid because of his delicious purple locks. Such a bummer! Overall the film is a bit cheesy, but so were the 80’s, so I can overlook that!

If you’re looking to have a fun time at the theater, go see JEM AND THE HOLOGRAMS. If you’re stuck in your old ways, go play with your pet rock.

OVERALL RATING: 3.75 out of 5 stars

For more info: www.jemthemovie.com

JEM AND THE HOLOGRAMS IS IN THEATERS OCTOBER 23

WAMG At The JEM AND THE HOLOGRAMS Press Day

As a small-town girl catapults from underground video sensation to global superstar, she and her three sisters begin a one-in-a-million journey of discovering that some talents are too special to keep hidden. In Universal Pictures’ JEM AND THE HOLOGRAMS, four aspiring musicians will take the world by storm when they see that the key to creating your own destiny lies in finding your own voice.

Last week, WAMG got to sit down with stars Aubrey Peeples (Jem) and Ryan Guzman (Rio) in a small press conference to talk about their experience working on the film. Check out some of the highlights below!

Jon Chu said you were a very analog girl but also very modern. Can you talk a little about the process you went through to get the role and were you familiar with JEM beforehand?

Aubrey Peeples: I was not familiar with JEM beforehand. As soon as we found out what this was, we did all our research… but it was under wraps what the project was. It was originally called “Hashtag Famous” then “Pink Moon” because they didn’t want people to know that they were doing JEM yet. But, we all auditioned several times… probably like five or six times each. The first time I met with Jon (Chu)I thought I blew it. It was so bad. My car broke down on the way there. I parked in a no parking zone. They had to move my car for me. I was like “It’s a stick shift” and they had to find someone [to move it]. I was really sweaty because of running trying to find a parking meter. I was like “I’m so sorry. I’m gross”. I think what ended up happening was Jon was like “Oh, she is quirky, just like the character”. I’m just very disorganized and messy. I had to sing at almost every audition so it was a very long process but very collaborative.

You guys got to work with bona-fide rocker chick/actress Juliette Lewis. What was that like?

Aubrey Peeples: She has been my role model for such a long time. I was so embarrassed when I first met her because I was like “Oh my God. We’re gonna be best friends!” But she’s so cool.

Ryan Guzman: I just ran up to her and called her “mom” right away and she gave me a weird look. We had a whole conversation about Brad Pitt. It was fun.

Ryan you were the bad boy next door in that movie with Jennifer Lopez and this character is very different.

Ryan Guzman: Yeah, what I did in THE BOY NEXT DOOR I definitely didn’t do in this one or it would be a different rating. [Laughs] But, it was awesome that I got to be a part of something so iconic and honestly one of the best parts of it was listening to these girls sing. I swear. That was one of the most nerve-wracking things for me. When they asked me to actually sing after listening to Aubrey sing, it was so intimidating. It’s one of those things that I think will captivate a very broad audience.

In doing your research, how much of the comic books and show did you pull into this and how much was your own musical background?

Aubrey Peeples: We studied the series constantly. We had to do our research. I think the movie is very much updated, but musically, I feel like this movie is very accessible to pop radio which is awesome and for, me. I had to do my research on that. I wasn’t used to it. But [producer] Scooter Braun is incredible and he kind of led the way to that. The music is gonna be super cool for fans.

Was it hard to get into the actual character? And when a lot of this movie resting on your shoulders, both music and acting, which do you feel is the most challenging for you as an actress?

Aubrey Peeples: I do think that Jerrica/JEM is very different from me. I do think she’s very much a character. I don’t feel like we have a lot of similarities except for the fact that I really have no idea how to use the internet either. I guess it’s challenging when you’re playing someone so different from you but for me, as an actor, that’s what I prefer because that’s what you can really sink your teeth info. I think the most important thing about this is that we did want to pay homage to the series while updating it. That’s something that we had to be very careful about and respectful of.

Directed by Jon M. Chu (Step Up series, G.I. Joe: Retaliation), the musical adventure stars Aubrey Peeples, Stefanie Scott, Aurora Perrineau, Hayley Kiyoko, Ryan Guzman, Molly Ringwald and Juliette Lewis. Jem and the Holograms, based on the iconic Hasbro animated TV series, is written by Ryan Landels and produced by Chu, Jason Blum for Blumhouse Productions, Scooter Braun for SB Projects, Bennett Schneir, and Brian Goldner and Stephen Davis of Hasbro Studios.

For more info: www.jemthemovie.com

JEM AND THE HOLOGRAMS is in theaters October 23

Does JEM AND THE HOLOGRAMS First Trailer And Poster Live Up To Original TV Series?

Hitting theaters on October 23rd is the musical adventure JEM AND THE HOLOGRAMS from director Jon M. Chu (G.I. Joe: Retaliation).

Universal Pictures has released the first trailer and judging by social media, fans of the original iconic Hasbro animated TV series are disappointed.

See the reaction on the film’s Facebook page here. Comments on YouTube range from:

“Um???? Where are the actual Holograms???? Like that’s a pretty big part of the movie???”

“This pays no homage to the original anime series,” “No Misfits? No Starlight House? No Starlight Girls? No Synergy? I can’t be more underwhelmed.”

In JEM AND THE HOLOGRAMS, four aspiring musicians will take the world by storm when they see that the key to creating your own destiny lies in finding your own voice.

The movie stars Aubrey Peeples, Stefanie Scott, Aurora Perrineau, Hayley Kiyoko, Ryan Guzman, Molly Ringwald and Juliette Lewis.

It is written by Ryan Landels and produced by Chu, Jason Blum for Blumhouse Productions, Scooter Braun for SB Projects, Bennett Schneir, and Brian Goldner and Stephen Davis of Hasbro Studios.

Visit the film’s official site: jemthemovie.com

THE BOY NEXT DOOR – The Blu Review

“Oh my God, He’s threatened my life, my son, my job!”

The unusually stupid THE BOY NEXT DOOR was a ‘bunnyboiler’, a FATAL ATTRACTION-inspired thriller that taught a valuable lesson about the dangers of hooking up with nutjobs. Jennifer Lopez played Claire Peterson, a 40-ish teacher living with her 16-year old son Kevin (Ian Nelson) after kicking out her cheating husband (John Corbett). Her foray back to the dating scene is a disaster so she soon turns her attentions to Noah (Ryan Guzman) a hunky 19-year old who has moved in with his ailing Grandpa next door (and whose biceps are introduced before he his). At first Noah is a perfect gentleman. He repairs her garage door, replaces her alternator, and helps Kevin, who’s being bullied at school, gain the confidence to ask out the cutie that works at the local hardware store. After pie and flirting and cookies, Claire and Noah finally knock boots one night while Kevin is away with dad. Claire immediately regrets the encounter but Noah won’t take no for an answer so spends the rest of the film upending Claire’s life in increasingly violent ways.

THE BOY NEXT DOOR started out mediocre, spiraled downward, and thudded with an utterly incompetent conclusion. It was saddled with one of the more improbable and laughably absurd scripts to come down the pike in a long while, insulting the audience’s intelligence at every possible opportunity. Since she teaches English (“The Classics”), Noah charms her by quoting the Iliad and gifting her with a ‘first edition’ copy of the book (published in 700b.c – “found it for a buck at a garage sale”). Noah looks like a ripped Calvin Klein model with a nice house to himself (Grandpa’s in the hospital) so you’d think he’d have a revolving door of willing babes, but the script never presents a speck of motivation for his singular J-Lo booty fixation. A naked young blonde pops up in his room to administer a Lewinsky in one scene, but even that seems to be for the benefit of Claire, who continues to gaze out her window at him. My favorite is when Claire sneaks into Noah’s house to retrieve their sex tape that he stealthily filmed, knowing she has just five minutes before he returns. In that time she not only discovers his concealed camera, but a twisted shrine to her and his sinister computer files which expose his guilt in the killing of his parents and the attempted murder of her ex. Good work! Movies should be fun, and this one is in an unintended way, but the source of entertainment shouldn’t only come from identifying plot holes and other assorted implausibilities. This was an irredeemably bad movie.

A film as inept as THE BOY NEXT DOOR should at least have more camp value, but I couldn’t work up much enthusiasm for the scene in which Noah papers Claire’s classroom with (non-explicit) photos taken of the pair banging, which she frantically has to tear down before her students arrive. Nor was I moved by the barn-burning finale, in which the audience applauded when Claire jabs Noah in the eye with her son’s EpiPen (never seen that before!). Every plot twist, and device is seen coming from a mile away, and every character is paper thin, including the supporting ones which are there simply to pose as obstacles or victims, especially poor Kristin Chenoweth as Claire’s sassy but doomed BFF.

Director Rob Cohen (who made the equally retarded ALEX CROSS), from a script by Barbara Curry, seemed determined to force this material into the moldy mold of horror formulas. For the movie to be anything more than a mechanical stalkathon, we needed to experience Noah as an ambiguous figure —a kind of male equivalent of the Glenn Close character in FATAL ATTRACTION; a quasi-sympathetic monster whose dementia is really a twisted form of emotional pain. But we were never allowed to see Claire through his eyes as this movie wasn’t interested in much else besides paranoia and cheap thrills. With her perfect hair, designer clothes, and distracting lip gloss, Lopez is miscast as a suburban teacher/mom (though she does wear glasses while teaching “The Classics”, which helps). The 46-year old actress looks 30, while Guzman, a 27-year old actor playing the 19-year old title character, looks his age, therefore the single sex scene between them hardly looked like a cougar seducing a youngster but simply like two attractive people more or less the same age makin’ bacon.

The good news is that the pic’s running time of 92 minutes was mercifully brief, and a fine showcase for J-Lo’s glamour and Ryan Guzman’s washboard abs. THE BOY NEXT DOOR was slickly paced but forgettable, junky, retread crap, but it was still miles better than 50 SHADES OF GRAY.

THE BOY NEXT DOOR will be released on Blu-ray from Universal April 28^th and We Are Movie Geeks has had a peek:

THE BOY NEXT DOOR’s MPEG-4 AVC Coded, 1080p res at 2.40:1 high definition presentation offers a consistent, stable image. It’s not one that reveals brilliant colors and complex details, however. The film is fairly dark and heavily stylized throughout, and with that darkness comes a slight flatness, a light dreariness, and frequent pastiness. Nevertheless, the image enjoys a fine general crispness and definition on clothes and faces. Universal’s Blu-ray appears to replicate the intended look well enough; just don’t expect a dazzling and bright eye-popping transfer.

THE BOY NEXT DOOR arrives on Blu-ray with an energetic DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 soundtrack. The track plays with a full, robust surround support and finely spaced front end elements. Clarity is always top-notch, whether musical or dialog.

Universal offers up a decent amount of extras for their THE BOY NEXT DOOR Blu-ray:

Audio Commentary: Director Rob Cohen defends his work for 90 minutes, talking at length about the budget limitations and working with Ms Lopez. A good, passionate commentary for a bad film.
The Making of The Boy Next Door – runs 9 minutes and is an undistinguished featurette that hastily covers the film’s themes and story, with an emphasis on the car chase and barn-burning finale.
Deleted Scenes Vicky Wants Claire to Help (2:01), Noah Runs Into Claire (3:02), Garrett Asks Claire Out on a Date (1:53), Claire Asks Vicky For a Favor (1:47), and Claire is Angry at Vicky (0:53).

THE BOY NEXT DOOR – The Review

The unusually stupid THE BOY NEXT DOOR is a ‘bunnyboiler’, a FATAL ATTRACTION-inspired thriller that teaches a valuable lesson about the dangers of hooking up with nutjobs. Jennifer Lopez plays Claire Peterson, a 40-ish teacher living with her 16-year old son Kevin (Ian Nelson) after kicking out her cheating husband (John Corbett). Her foray back to the dating scene is a disaster so she soon turns her attentions to Noah (Ryan Guzman) a hunky 19-year old who has moved in with his ailing Grandpa next door (and whose biceps are introduced before he his). At first Noah is a perfect gentleman. He repairs her garage door, replaces her alternator, and helps Kevin, who’s being bullied at school, gain the confidence to ask out the cutie that works at the local hardware store. After pie and flirting and cookies, Claire and Noah finally knock boots one night while Kevin is away with dad. Claire immediately regrets the encounter but Noah won’t take no for an answer so spends the rest of the film upending Claire’s life in increasingly violent ways.

THE BOY NEXT DOOR starts out mediocre, spirals downward, and thuds with an utterly incompetent conclusion. It’s saddled with one of the more improbable and laughably absurd scripts to come down the pike in a long while, insulting the audience’s intelligence at every possible opportunity. Since she teaches English (“The Classics”), Noah charms her by quoting the Iliad and gifting her with a ‘first edition’ of the book (published in 700b.c – “found it for a buck at a garage sale”). Noah looks like a ripped Calvin Klein model with a nice house to himself (Grandpa’s in the hospital) so you’d think he’d have a revolving door of willing babes, but the script never presents a speck of motivation for his singular J-Lo booty fixation. A naked young blonde pops up in his room to administer a Lewinsky in one scene, but even that seems to be for the benefit of Claire, who continues to gaze out her window at him. My favorite is when Claire sneaks into Noah’s house to retrieve their sex tape that he stealthily filmed, knowing she has just five minutes before he returns. In that time she not only discovers his concealed camera, but a twisted shrine to her and his sinister computer files which expose his guilt in the killing of his parents and the attempted murder of her ex. Good work! Movies should be fun, and this one is in an unintended way, but the source of entertainment shouldn’t only come from identifying plot holes and other assorted implausibilities. This is an irredeemably bad movie.

A film as inept as THE BOY NEXT DOOR should at least have more camp value, but I couldn’t work up much enthusiasm for the scene in which Noah papers Claire’s classroom with (non-explicit) photos taken of the pair banging, which she frantically has to tear down before her students arrive. Nor was I moved by the barn-burning finale, in which the audience applauded when Claire jabs Noah in the eye with her son’s EpiPen (never seen that before!). Every plot twist and device is seen coming from a mile away, and every character is paper thin, including the supporting ones which are there simply to pose as obstacles or victims, especially poor Kristin Chenoweth as Claire’s sassy but doomed pal.

Director Rob Cohen (who made the equally terrible ALEX CROSS), from a script by Barbara Curry, seems determined to force this material into the moldy mold of horror formulas. For the movie to be anything more than a mechanical stalkathon, we need to experience Noah as an ambiguous figure —a kind of male equivalent of the Glenn Close character in FATAL ATTRACTION; a quasi-sympathetic monster whose dementia is really a twisted form of emotional pain. But we’re never allowed to see Claire through his eyes as this movie isn’t interested in much else besides paranoia and cheap thrills. With her perfect hair, designer clothes, and distracting lip gloss, Lopez is miscast as a suburban teacher/mom (though she does wear glasses while teaching “The Classics”, which helps). The 46-year old actress looks 30, while Guzman, a 27-year old actor playing the 19-year old title character, looks his age, therefore the single sex scene between them hardly looks like a cougar seducing a youngster but simply like two attractive people more or less the same age makin’ bacon.

The good news is that the pic’s running time of 92 minutes is mercifully brief, and it’s a fine showcase for J-Lo’s glamour and Ryan Guzman’s washboard abs. THE BOY NEXT DOOR is slickly paced but forgettable, junky, retread crap. Not recommended at all.

1 of 5 Stars

Jennifer Lopez Stars In THE BOY NEXT DOOR Trailer

Here’s a first look at Universal Pictures’ THE BOY NEXT DOOR from director Rob Cohen.

Starring Jennifer Lopez, the movie hits theaters January 23rd.

Jennifer Lopez (PARKER, ENOUGH) leads the cast in the psychological thriller that explores a forbidden attraction that goes much too far. Directed by Rob Cohen (THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS, ALEX CROSS) and written by Barbara Curry, the film also stars Ryan Guzman, John Corbett and Kristin Chenoweth.

http://theboynextdoorfilm.com

Facebook.com/TheBoyNextDoorMovie

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OVERALL RATING: 3.75 out of 5 stars

JEM AND THE HOLOGRAMS IS IN THEATERS OCTOBER 23

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JEM AND THE HOLOGRAMS is in theaters October 23

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