Tag: disney+

JUNGLE CRUISE – Review

Alrighty, who’s ready for some theme park fun and thrills? What, you say you don’t want to wait in the long lines in the hot, hot sun way too close to possibly infected throngs of people? Oh, and don’t get me started on those inflated parking fees (after traffic jams) and concession prices! Well, how about your favorite ride coming to you.? Well, not exactly, but close by, say the nearby multiplex cinema. That’s part of the thinking behind this weekend’s big, big movie release. Oh, and starting a new franchise (of course). That’s why the “mouse house” has their gloved fingers (and tails crossed). Could they have another PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN, or could it go the way of the COUNTRY BEARS (y’know from the Jamboree)? It all depends on how many moviegoers hop aboard this big ole’ JUNGLE CRUISE.


Before we leave port, we’re treated to a mythic prologue all about the “Tears of the Moon”, magical leaves from an also magical tree hidden somewhere on the banks of the Amazon River. It’s said that those ‘tears’ can cure any disease, heal any injury, and ensure immortality. Centuries ago a band of conquistadors led by Aguirre (Edgar Ramirez) invaded the village of the lost tribe that guarded that tree. After fatally stabbing the chief, a curse is placed on Aguirre and his band. They’re swallowed up by the forest, trapped forever in suspended animation. Somehow an arrowhead, essential to the fabled map of the tree’s location, is found and sent to the British Explorers’ Society in 1916. That’s where researcher MacGregor Houghton (Jack Whitehall) pleads with the assembled members to borrow the piece to seek the tree. But he’s just a distraction. His “head-strong ” sister Lily (Emily Blunt) makes her way to the storage area to grab the arrowhead. Turns out she’s just a few steps ahead of a nefarious German prince, Joachim (Jesse Plemons), who has bribed the club’s staff to grab the piece for his country. He shakes his fists as Lily makes a daring escape and heads to South American with her brother in tow. Ah, but once there, she needs to hire river transportation. Luckily she soon meets Frank Wolff (Dwyane Johnson), who’s barely getting by as a cruise guide for tourists, part of a fleet owned by the greedy Nilo (Paul Giamatti). And in lieu of money owed, he’s taken the engine from Frank’s boat. But thanks to Lily’s lock-picking skills, Frank gets said engine back and accepts her generous offer to take them to find the tree, Unfortunately, Joachim is also down there and he’s commanding a submarine. Can Frank help the Houghton siblings locate those magical leaves before he does? And then things get really complicated when Aguirre and his now supernatural soldiers awaken. How will our heroes survive?

Johnson has his charm at full speed as he gleefully spews out a multitude of “groaner’ “dad-jokes” (mostly lifted from the spiel of the guides on the original Disney theme park ride attraction) and makes Frank more than a “hulked-out” Charlie Allnutt (from the now 70-year-old classic THE AFRICAN QUEEN. Though it’s tough to imagine any foe being a physical challenge, his main obstacles are his employers. Of the two, there’s a playful teasing schoolyard banter with Blunt’s Lily who mixes Rose Sayer (from…y’know) and Lara Croft (and maybe a pinch of Poppins). She’s a feisty force for female empowerment, only occasionally in need of rescue, though often a “damsel-in-distress”. Actually, her brother MacGregor, as played by Whitehall, is the panicky “dude-in-distress”, seeming to be in a constant threat of fainting, when he’s not “overpacking” for the excursion. Whitehall’s mainly a comic foil/sidekick, which makes his impassionated mid-film confession seem out of place in this frothy bit of fluff. Still, he’s more endearing than the villainous buffoons that two of our most talented character actors are burdened with. Plemons, so wonderful in GAME NIGHT, preens and prances as the Teutonic twit Joachim, a stereotype more at home in countless WW II two-reelers. Not far behind in the “mugging contest’ is Giamatti, complete with cane, gleaming gold-tooth, and Italian accent (which seems to come and go with the tide) as the always apoplectic Nilo, yet another ineffectual boss (much as in recent misfire GUNPOWDER MILKSHAKE) in his long resume. Nilo’s shaking his fist, as his property is destroyed around him, much as James Finlayson did as the nemesis of Mr. Laurel and Mr. Hardy. It’s no test for Mr. Giamatti’s considerable talents. The real “bad guy’ menace is provided by Ramirez and company, though their faces are a pallette for lots of flashy CGI gimmickry.

A veteran of several modestly-budgeted Liam Neeson thrillers, director Jaume Collet-Serra goes from the “farm team’ to the “big show” as the “traffic cop” is this frenetic by-product of franchise-frenzy. He’s not given much of a chance to explore the characters before another big action “set piece’ must commence, checked off from the script’s lengthy list of distractions (five writers churned this out). It’s a clunky, noisy mess that tries too hard to mimic vastly superior flicks. I remarked to my screening guest that this was “regurgitated” (maybe “rancid” is more like it) RAIDERS (as in OF THE LOST ARK), while he replied that a better comparison would be to the 1999 take on THE MUMMY (so Raiders twice removed). I remarked that it’s similar to comparing a new sci-fi fantasy to THE ICE PIRATES. And speaking of them, the gnarly, near-unstoppable baddies owe much to the oceanic menaces of the CARIBBEAN series, with one oozing honey and bees, as another shoots slithery CGI snakes out of every orifice. Oh, and the visual effects often seem “slap dashed as a weird glow envelopes the leads as they emote in front of a generated backdrop (almost as bad as those thick black lines in the olden days of rear-projection). And then there’s that cheetah, who would’ve looked phony in any version of Dr. Doolittle. Of course, we’ve got to see some “product placement” as a Perrier sign nearly pops off the screen during the big London stunt shot. The gifted James Newton Howard provides a bombastic score that should have John Williams consulting his legal team. His music gets extra “cutesy” as Frank and Lily taunt each other with the nicknames “Pants” and “Skippy” (this is witty banter). And then much of the suspense erodes away by a deranged “reveal twist” before the big third act (though the flick, like many action epics, has four endings too many). For the most part, the behind-the-scenes artists do a decent job of recreating the 1910’s (now who then would wear a purple velvet jacket like the oafish Joachim), but it’s all in a disparate mishmash of genres and vastly superior older flicks. If this hits, could “It’s a Small World” starring Johnson’s JUMANJI co-stars Kevin Hart and Danny DeVito be in the “pipeline”? “Shudder”. Please no, since this JUNGLE CRUISE has left me quite “green around the gills”. Pass me the quinine, quick!

One-Half Out of 4


JUNGLE CRUISE opens in theatres everywhere and can be streamed via Premier Access on Disney+.

FLORA & ULYSSES – Review

So with all the holidays this month, not to mention “snow days” (with the “at home learning” is that really still a thing), when will those movies be released (to quote that Coen Brothers classic) “you know… for the kids”? Well move aside all you somber “indie” dramas and feature docs, here comes a new live-action feature adaptation of an award-winning (the 2014 Newbery Medal) childrens’ book. And it’s a human/animal team-up, much like the live-action features that the Disney Studio would “pair up” with their re-issues of their animated classics in the 60s and 70s (or at least with a “long-form” short like their Winnie the Pooh “featurettes”). Yes, the “mouse house” is behind this flick, also. But there’s no need to brave the elements as it premieres on their streaming service, perfect for pausing during the snack refills. Oh, almost forgot to reveal the identity of the “team”. Much in the “vein” of Christopher Robin and “that silly old bear”, make way for the exploits of FLORA & ULYSSES (who may be a tad closer to Batman & Robin).


Speaking of that “dynamic duo”, the human half of the team is obsessed with superheroes. That would be Flora Buckman (Matilda Lawler), the story’s eight-year-old narrator. After her “takes” on the Silver Surfer and Wolverine, she delves into the origins of her favorite hero, “Incandesto”. Not heard of him? No wonder, since he’s the unsold (to any comics company) creation of her father, George (Ben Schwartz). Actually, his frustration over the rejection of all his characters may have been a big reason behind his separation from his wife (and Flora’s mom), Phyllis (Alyson Hannigan). She’s a semi-successful author of romance novels (winner of the coveted “Jack & Rose” award), and Flora’s living with her in the old family house (but still visits her pop every weekend). One afternoon, Flora’s routine is disrupted by the next-door neighbor. Her automated vacuum cleaner has run amok and scarfed up a squirrel. Flora frees him, but the critter bonds with her. Then she realizes that he has “super powers’ (he follows her directions and can write poetry on her laptop. Now named Ulysses, Flora takes him to visit the only superhero expert she knows, good ole’ daddy. He takes her to brunch at a local diner, unaware she has Ulysses stuffed in a schoolbag. The delicious smells drive the squirrel wild and soon he’s bouncing around the eatery. The trio escapes, but the authorities have been alerted, namely the over-zealous head of the city’s animal control department, officer Miller (Danny Pudi). Can Flora keep him away from her new best furry friend? And what other powers does Ulysses have up his sleeve…er…paw?

A cast of seasoned veteran comedy performers (mostly from TV) pool their considerable talents to “juice-up” this thin familiar fable that’s stretched to feature-length. However, the human character in the title is played by relative newcomer Lawler, who proves to be a pleasant screen presence. She carefully avoids the pitfalls of many pre-teen thespians with her ability to give the right push for a punchline while never “over-selling” or “mugging” (the bane of most basic cable TV kids). Her adorable energy also helps as she goes for the heartstrings when her furry pal’s in peril. Though he’s most entertaining as the self-involved doofus Jean-Ralphio of TV’s “Parks and Recreations”, Schwartz is quite good as the father who always has a smile for his angel even as the world smacks him down (he’s got the proper “soul-drained” eyes when we see him at his 9 to 5 gig at a big box office supply store). Hannigan has a tougher challenge as the “straight man” for many of the exchanges with Flora, while also trying to be nurturing but strict (gotta’ balance those comic books with real lit). But she gets to deliver some laughs (though none of the “band camp” variety) as a frustrated writer who may not have any more “bodice-rippers” bouncing in her brain (the antique typewriter magnifies that blank sheet of paper). Plus Phyllis and George yearn to re-unite, though neither knows the way to patch the leaks in their relationship. Oh, Lawler’s not the only grade-schooler on board. Benjamin Evan Ainsworth plays William, the visiting nephew of their next-door neighbor, who is dealing with a rare case of hysterical blindness. We’re told that it’s caused by stress, perhaps to make some of the crude gags more palatable (he thinks he’s a junior Daredevil). Maybe they thought that Flora should have a cohort closer to her own age, but the teaming rarely works. Still, they fare better than Pudi, forever Abed of “Community”, who’s saddled with the kids’ movie cliche of the thwarted abused adult, a guy always on the losing end of some painful pratfalls (Pesci and Stern set the standard in the HOME ALONE flicks) as Miller the menace. Luckily he’s only armed with a tranquilizer pistol, though he gleefully fires with little regard for innocents, and somehow can never aim it when constantly attacked by a CGI cat that seems to be the spawn of the Tazmanian Devil and Church from PET SEMATARY. Pudi deserves better than this dim-witted dweeb of a villain. Anna Deavere Smith is a kindly, calming influence as the sympathetic doc that acts as a helpful (to the extreme) guardian “angel”. Two extremely funny ladies are wasted in underwritten roles. Kate Micucci (of the team Garfunkle and Oates) screeches and stumbles as the diner waitress, while Janeane Garofolo verbally prods Hannigan as the agent/manager of Phyllis. However, SNL vet Bobby Moynihan has a nice low-key but warm spin on The Simpsons’ “Comic Book Guy” as a store owner credited as “Stanlee” (nice nod).

Director Lena Kahn may have been aiming for a warm family-friendly fantasy fable, but the chaotic screenplay by Brad Copeland (whose credits include the abysmal YOGI BEAR) thwarts her with too many clunky slapstick sequences (I’m guessing that the original book by Kate DiCamillo is more mellow). At least they steered clear of the constant genitalia injuries of last year’s putrid THE WAR WITH GRANDPA. Perhaps the film’s biggest problems start with the crude computer-animated co-star. His manic movement conveys a sense of weightlessness, especially as Ulysses curls around Flora’s neck. As he bounced from one calamity to the next, I recalled the Christmas TCM staple THE GREAT RUPERT from 1950. That performing squirrel was brought to magical life via George Pal’s team of stop-motion animator artisans (much like Rudolf or the 33′ King Kong). Sure that’s often clunky (watching the fur ruffle) tech, but the fellar’ has miles more charm than this pixel effect (he does a good mimic of the superhero landing “stance” though). And though this is set in modern times (the Roomba-style menace), some plot devices felt years out of touch. Would Phyllis really use an old typewriter (with a stuck “J” pad) to put her mind into an early 20th-century heroine? And could the local newspaper (probably not a daily) wreck her career (perhaps an online video interview that goes viral would be more now)? It seems only designed to put her in the mood to go after Ulysses. And just what are his powers? They’re whatever the story requires him to do, I’d guess. This forgettable flick might keep the wee ones quiet for a bit (the “figgits” will arrive soon), but there are so many better entertainments, even on this service (that don’t squander terrific comic talents) than the tepid tumults of FLORA & ULYSSES. I’ll stick with the team from Frostbite Falls, MN anyday.

1.5 Out of 4

FLORA & ULYSSES streams exclusively on Disney+ beginning Friday, February 19, 2021

SOUL – Review

So on the big day what do you plan on doing after the presents under the tree have been unwrapped (or as with my household, discovered as you enter the living room from your bedroom)? I mean after having breakfast or brunch, what’s next? How about opening a really wonderful gift via modern entertainment tech? In those pre-Pandemic days, Christmas afternoon and evening was one of the busiest times for the ole’ multiplex. Now several areas have shuttered their theatres, while many folks are still skittish about heading to ones still open (at least till those vaccines become more accessible). And so the fine folks at Disney are making the newest release from their subsidiary Pixar available to watch at home through their streaming service. But this is no “cutie-pie” family flick romp. No, this is one of the studio’s most ambitious efforts, pondering mortality, destiny, talent, and all that’s part of everyone’s SOUL.

The soul at the heart of this story belongs to temp inner-city grade school band teacher Joe Gardner (voice of Jamie Foxx), who really longs to be a jazz pianist. After the ear-splitting practice ends, the school’s principal gives him some good news along with his paycheck. He’s now a full-time member of the faculty. Joe half-heartedly thanks her and rushes off to share this with the one person who will be thrilled about this permanent job: his mother Libba (Phylicia Rashad), who runs a neighborhood dress/tailor shop. She’s been telling him to get “steady” employment for years. But just then Joe gets a momentous phone call from a former student, now called Curley (Questlove). He’s the drummer for the highly respected Dorothea Williams jazz quartet, which is now a trio after their pianist dropped out of tonight’s “gig”. Could Joe run down to the club for a brief audition? Of course, Joe is a blur as he dashes away from the shop. He’s a bit intimidated by Ms. Williams (Angela Bassett), but she’s impressed enough. Leaving the club, Joe’s floating on a cloud…until he falls…through an open manhole. When he opens his eyes he’s now a fuzzy blue blob on an inclined moving walkway ending in a bright white light. The other “whatzits” tell him that they’re “old souls” headed for “The Great Beyond”.  A now panicked Joe starts hurtling in the opposite direction because he’s got the big jazz “set’ that night. He makes his way to “The Great Before”, the home of “new souls” who can go to Earth and get a body once they’ve found their purpose or “spark”. Through the counselors (all named Jerry) he learns that each new soul is assigned to an old soul as a mentor. Hmm, maybe he could grab a “back to my body” pass that way. Joe grabs the ID badge of a Nordic professor and is given the oldest and most difficult of the new souls, number 22 (Tina Fey). After an encounter with some “mystics without borders” Joe finds a portal back home, but 22 accidentally takes the plunge. This begins a mortal mix-up causing calamity on both the physical and spiritual worlds.

A superb voice cast expertly compliments and even enhances the astounding visuals. Foxx is at his endearing best as Joe, a true everyman hero who often evokes the spirit of classic comedy icons. And he’s one of the few mature human protagonists of Pixar, though more excitable than Carl from UP and Bob Parr from the INCREDIBLES series. We hear the defeated resignation in his voice as he endures the band practice which quickly dissolves as one gifted trombonist momentarily lifts his spirit. Foxx conveys the quick shifts in Joe’s emotions, his nervous ticks, and unbridled joy in expressing his musical gifts. He has a surprisingly effective partner (who’d have thought of this comedic team) in Fey who balances her great “wiseacre” snark with a sour pessimism and a mischievous streak (you can’t turn your back on 22). There are some great supporting turns by two acting icons. Rashad and Bassett are tough taskmasters to Joe with Libba trying to bring him back to reality and Dorothea full of cool detachment as she demands his best. UK “chat show” host Graham Norton is a loony, loopy delight as the head “mystic’ always in the “zone”, Moonwind. Big kudos to the various versions of counselor Jerry (Alice Braga, Richard Ayoade, Wes Studi, Fortune Feimster, and others) and especially Rachel House as the “soul counter” Terry (“It doesn’t add up!”) who adds an extra layer of suspense and urgency to the frantic finale.

One of the frustrations of the Pandemic (although really minor compared to the loss of life and jobs) is the inability to see the incredible artistry of the various craftspeople projected on a huge screen (oh, for some IMAX please). Yes, it’ll look great in your home, I’m sure, but to be emersed in these created worlds would be pure film lovers’ bliss. Yes, both worlds are spectacular. The many scenes set on the city streets (thinking Brooklyn) capture the hustle and bustle in mind-blowing detail with crowded sidewalks and lurching traffic. But then the “soul scape” is truly out of this world with rolling hills and structures that defy space and gravity. Against these marvelous backgrounds are triumphs of character design. The “souls” (old and new) are part puffy clouds and cotton candy with a hazy “wispy” outline that still seems to have the proper “weight”. And somehow they work with the linear look of Terry and the Jerrys, two-dimensional beings that almost fold in on themselves who invoke the styles of Miro, Calder, and Picasso. But the human designs are just as delightful. Joe’s settling into “pear-shaped” middle age with his “bowling pin” body shape with little break between his head and neck except for this bump of a chin. We do get a funny animal character with the plump “support feline” Mr. Mittens who almost rolls from place to place. One particular standout character is Dez the barber whose head appears to be screwed into his buff T-shaped athletic build. All of these wonders are brought together by Pixar’s powerhouse Pete Doctor (of UP and INSIDE OUT) and co-directed by Kemp Powers, and both also wrote the nuanced script with Mike Jones, which delivers the laughs and “feels” while addressing so many adult (not “R” rated stuff) concerns and themes. Am I my talent? If I can’t get my dream job, then what? With the film’s setting in the world of jazz, the producers wisely got the piano superstar Jonathon Batiste to be Joe’s fingers and to augment the entrancing score from Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross. Some of the subject matter dealing with morality may be a bit heavy for the lil’ ones, but they’ll be entranced by the vivid visuals and the sweet playful “new souls”. At a time when lots of empty-headed slapstick promotes itself as family fare, Pixar again proves that true “all ages” entertainment doesn’t have to be “dumbed down” to the lowest denominator. It’s not merely a great animated film, but a great film, period. This is a gift that will propel your heart and SOUL.

4 Out of 4

SOUL streams exclusively on Disney+ beginning Christmas Day

GODMOTHERED – Review

So, who could use a little magic? This year, who couldn’t, even with just a few weeks left in 2020? We’re not talking about luck or “good fortune”, but rather the sprinkly, sparkly spells that come straight from witches, pixies, and wizards. Sure, that’s the stuff of faerie tales, but wouldn’t it be great if that mythology had some real-life basis? Sweet, huh? Now other than big blue “motor-mouthed” genies, who’s the big “wish-granter”? Just ask the dazzling blonde rockin’ those glass slippers. She’ll tell you from first-hand knowledge that it’s pretty great to be GODMOTHERED. But would that “fly” today, even using lotsa’ pixie dust?

That question is answered in the new film by taking a trip to another dimension. Where do faerie godmothers come from? Why Motherland, of course. But things are pretty dismal there, as 21st century Earth folk just don’t believe like they used to. The “GMs’ in the magic classes are pretty downbeat, except for the youngest one “in training”, the bubbly smiling Eleanor (Jillian Bell). But she’s even dismayed by the unexpected appearance in class by the “queen mum” and ruler of the land Moira (Jane Curtin). Unless some human is helped, the whole place will shut down and cease to exist. Things seem hopeless, but Eleanor won’t give up. Scouring the “request files” she finds one lonely letter, from little Mackenzie Walsh in Boston, USA. Without Moira’s knowing (she wouldn’t approve), Eleanor, with the aid of her roomie Agnes (June Squibb), dashes through a mystical portal to our world. Thing is, she’s still getting the hang of her wand, so she hitchhikes to “Bean-town” only to discover that her last chance isn’t a child (that letter had been there a while). Mackenzie (Isla Fisher) is the single mother of two young women, Jane (Jillian Shea Spaeder) and Mia (Willa Skye) who’s working as a news segment producer for a struggling TV station. Of course, she thinks Eleanor, in her frilly pink ball gown, is a tad “touched” in the head. Can Eleanor possibly get her “spell-casting act” together and get the Walsh family to believe in magic before that portal closes and Motherland is no more?

After stealing scenes in several studio ensemble comedies (22 JUMP STREET, ROUGH NIGHT, THE NIGHT BEFORE) and headlining an indie (BRITTANY RUNS A MARATHON), Bell looks to expand into family flicks as the simple sunny Eleanor. She succeeds for the most part, due to her fearless comic commitment (getting pelted with pumpkin mush while in that pink hoop dress) and slapstick skills (trying to control a wand that seems to have a mind of its own). It’s a smooth stroll from the hard-partying gal-pal to the sweet, clueless, and clumsy conjuror. Luckily the character has a superb straight-man, er…woman, and “reality buffer” in Fisher as the sour, cynical Mackenzie whose tough “outer layer” is slowly melted away by Eleanor’s optimism. She’s got great support at home with the two talented young actresses playing her daughters. Skye’s Mia hasn’t quite shaken her sense of joy and wonder, while Spaeder as big sis Jane is still haunted by the family’s past tragedy which almost stifles her creative musical talents (she’s been given the big solo at the holiday pageant). As for “Mack’s” work “fam”, Santiago Cabrera is an affable encouraging “chum’, who may become something more, as her “roving reporter” Hugh Prince (hmmm…that last name). Much of that applies to Mack’s BFF Duff played with a subtle sense of snark by Artemis Pebdani. Of course, not everybody can be nice and helpful (although both certainly apply to the always fun Squibb as Agnes). Bell’s BRITTANY love interest Utkarsh Ambudkar provides a smidge of comic villainy as Mack’s rating and publicity (“Gotta’ go viral!”) desperate boss Grant. And though she’s tart and intimidating, Curtin as Moira proves to be the “tough love” matriarch that Eleanor needs, though she has a real scary regal vibe about her.

A veteran of two BRIDGET JONES films, director Sharon Maguire does a fairly good job of keeping the story from collapsing under excess whimsy while eliciting great comic work from the cast (would love to see Bell and Fisher teamed again for a more adult romp). Unfortunately, her efforts are often undone by a script that begs too many comparisons to the superior fantasy /modern-day comedy mash-ups ELF and ENCHANTED. Some of the plot machinations are predictable (somehow the station’s ratings skyrocket due to Eleanor’s mishaps) and inconsistent (that wand seems to work correctly when needed for the story). And the attempts at pathos are somewhat heavy-handed, especially in the big musical finale. The various locales around Boston are lovely, as is the “faerie-world” of Motherland (still too many historical problems with that word, though). Big kudos however for the charming “2-D” animated prologue which would be a great medium for a modest follow-up (a bit of a long-shot). Though it’s doubtful that this film could become a perennial fave like the aforementioned flicks, the smallest tykes may be entertained for a bit as their folks indulge in some “cyber-shopping” rather than getting GODMOTHERED.

2 Out of 4

GODMOTHERED streams exclusively on Disney+ beginning December 4th, 2020.