So with all the holidays this month, not to mention “snow days” (with the “at home learning” is that really still a thing), when will those movies be released (to quote that Coen Brothers classic) “you know… for the kids”? Well move aside all you somber “indie” dramas and feature docs, here comes a new live-action feature adaptation of an award-winning (the 2014 Newbery Medal) childrens’ book. And it’s a human/animal team-up, much like the live-action features that the Disney Studio would “pair up” with their re-issues of their animated classics in the 60s and 70s (or at least with a “long-form” short like their Winnie the Pooh “featurettes”). Yes, the “mouse house” is behind this flick, also. But there’s no need to brave the elements as it premieres on their streaming service, perfect for pausing during the snack refills. Oh, almost forgot to reveal the identity of the “team”. Much in the “vein” of Christopher Robin and “that silly old bear”, make way for the exploits of FLORA & ULYSSES (who may be a tad closer to Batman & Robin).
Speaking of that “dynamic duo”, the human half of the team is obsessed with superheroes. That would be Flora Buckman (Matilda Lawler), the story’s eight-year-old narrator. After her “takes” on the Silver Surfer and Wolverine, she delves into the origins of her favorite hero, “Incandesto”. Not heard of him? No wonder, since he’s the unsold (to any comics company) creation of her father, George (Ben Schwartz). Actually, his frustration over the rejection of all his characters may have been a big reason behind his separation from his wife (and Flora’s mom), Phyllis (Alyson Hannigan). She’s a semi-successful author of romance novels (winner of the coveted “Jack & Rose” award), and Flora’s living with her in the old family house (but still visits her pop every weekend). One afternoon, Flora’s routine is disrupted by the next-door neighbor. Her automated vacuum cleaner has run amok and scarfed up a squirrel. Flora frees him, but the critter bonds with her. Then she realizes that he has “super powers’ (he follows her directions and can write poetry on her laptop. Now named Ulysses, Flora takes him to visit the only superhero expert she knows, good ole’ daddy. He takes her to brunch at a local diner, unaware she has Ulysses stuffed in a schoolbag. The delicious smells drive the squirrel wild and soon he’s bouncing around the eatery. The trio escapes, but the authorities have been alerted, namely the over-zealous head of the city’s animal control department, officer Miller (Danny Pudi). Can Flora keep him away from her new best furry friend? And what other powers does Ulysses have up his sleeve…er…paw?
A cast of seasoned veteran comedy performers (mostly from TV) pool their considerable talents to “juice-up” this thin familiar fable that’s stretched to feature-length. However, the human character in the title is played by relative newcomer Lawler, who proves to be a pleasant screen presence. She carefully avoids the pitfalls of many pre-teen thespians with her ability to give the right push for a punchline while never “over-selling” or “mugging” (the bane of most basic cable TV kids). Her adorable energy also helps as she goes for the heartstrings when her furry pal’s in peril. Though he’s most entertaining as the self-involved doofus Jean-Ralphio of TV’s “Parks and Recreations”, Schwartz is quite good as the father who always has a smile for his angel even as the world smacks him down (he’s got the proper “soul-drained” eyes when we see him at his 9 to 5 gig at a big box office supply store). Hannigan has a tougher challenge as the “straight man” for many of the exchanges with Flora, while also trying to be nurturing but strict (gotta’ balance those comic books with real lit). But she gets to deliver some laughs (though none of the “band camp” variety) as a frustrated writer who may not have any more “bodice-rippers” bouncing in her brain (the antique typewriter magnifies that blank sheet of paper). Plus Phyllis and George yearn to re-unite, though neither knows the way to patch the leaks in their relationship. Oh, Lawler’s not the only grade-schooler on board. Benjamin Evan Ainsworth plays William, the visiting nephew of their next-door neighbor, who is dealing with a rare case of hysterical blindness. We’re told that it’s caused by stress, perhaps to make some of the crude gags more palatable (he thinks he’s a junior Daredevil). Maybe they thought that Flora should have a cohort closer to her own age, but the teaming rarely works. Still, they fare better than Pudi, forever Abed of “Community”, who’s saddled with the kids’ movie cliche of the thwarted abused adult, a guy always on the losing end of some painful pratfalls (Pesci and Stern set the standard in the HOME ALONE flicks) as Miller the menace. Luckily he’s only armed with a tranquilizer pistol, though he gleefully fires with little regard for innocents, and somehow can never aim it when constantly attacked by a CGI cat that seems to be the spawn of the Tazmanian Devil and Church from PET SEMATARY. Pudi deserves better than this dim-witted dweeb of a villain. Anna Deavere Smith is a kindly, calming influence as the sympathetic doc that acts as a helpful (to the extreme) guardian “angel”. Two extremely funny ladies are wasted in underwritten roles. Kate Micucci (of the team Garfunkle and Oates) screeches and stumbles as the diner waitress, while Janeane Garofolo verbally prods Hannigan as the agent/manager of Phyllis. However, SNL vet Bobby Moynihan has a nice low-key but warm spin on The Simpsons’ “Comic Book Guy” as a store owner credited as “Stanlee” (nice nod).
Director Lena Kahn may have been aiming for a warm family-friendly fantasy fable, but the chaotic screenplay by Brad Copeland (whose credits include the abysmal YOGI BEAR) thwarts her with too many clunky slapstick sequences (I’m guessing that the original book by Kate DiCamillo is more mellow). At least they steered clear of the constant genitalia injuries of last year’s putrid THE WAR WITH GRANDPA. Perhaps the film’s biggest problems start with the crude computer-animated co-star. His manic movement conveys a sense of weightlessness, especially as Ulysses curls around Flora’s neck. As he bounced from one calamity to the next, I recalled the Christmas TCM staple THE GREAT RUPERT from 1950. That performing squirrel was brought to magical life via George Pal’s team of stop-motion animator artisans (much like Rudolf or the 33′ King Kong). Sure that’s often clunky (watching the fur ruffle) tech, but the fellar’ has miles more charm than this pixel effect (he does a good mimic of the superhero landing “stance” though). And though this is set in modern times (the Roomba-style menace), some plot devices felt years out of touch. Would Phyllis really use an old typewriter (with a stuck “J” pad) to put her mind into an early 20th-century heroine? And could the local newspaper (probably not a daily) wreck her career (perhaps an online video interview that goes viral would be more now)? It seems only designed to put her in the mood to go after Ulysses. And just what are his powers? They’re whatever the story requires him to do, I’d guess. This forgettable flick might keep the wee ones quiet for a bit (the “figgits” will arrive soon), but there are so many better entertainments, even on this service (that don’t squander terrific comic talents) than the tepid tumults of FLORA & ULYSSES. I’ll stick with the team from Frostbite Falls, MN anyday.
1.5 Out of 4
FLORA & ULYSSES streams exclusively on Disney+ beginning Friday, February 19, 2021
