We Are Movie Geeks

Time for yet another big budget action flick based on a comic book series. This is not from the big two: DC (MAN OF STEEL) and Marvel (IRON MAN 3). It’s from Dark Horse, the company that’s the home of big screen heroes like THE MASK and BARB WIRE among others. Oh, and did I tell you that this is another variation  on the mis-matched law enforcement team best represented recently by the box office smash THE HEAT. Here it’s a wiseguy younger fella’ teamed up with a crotchety old-school veteran. Plus it’s set in a fantasy world right in the middle of that film’s backdrop, Boston. Of course the normal citizenry is blithely unaware of these fantastic events. Hmm, is this sounding similar to another movie franchise? Judge for yourself if you chose to enter the world of R.I.P.D. at your local multiplex.

Life is pretty good for a Boston cop named Nick (Ryan Reynolds). He shares a cozy house with his gorgeous French wife Julia (Stephanie Szostak). But something’s troubling him. He and another police officer, Hayes (Kevin Bacon), grabbed up several pieces of gold during a routine drug bust and didn’t report it. Soon after telling Hayes that he intends to turn in set pieces, both men are called up to join in a major raid at the HQ of a big drug kingpin. During the firefight Nick is hit. Time stands still around him as a vortex opens in the sky overhead. He’s scooped up towards the light and suddenly finds himself in the office of a woman named Proctor (Mary-Louise Parker). She informs Nick that he’s in the waiting area for Judgement (will he proceed up or head down into the fiery pit?). Things aren’t looking positive after that gold-stealing incident. But there’s a way for Nick to erase these marks on his life record. Because he was a policeman, Nick can enter the R.I.P.D. (Rest In Peace Division). Seems that certain criminal souls slip through the cracks there and head back to Earth (they’re referred to as “Dead-Os”). The RIPD agents capture them and return them for Judgement. Nick quickly volunteers, but is not sent down alone. He’s paired up with a cantankerous, grizzled lawman from the old West circa the late 1800’s named Roy (Jeff Bridges). Once they arrive back on the planet, Nick makes a beeline for his widow, but there’s a catch. Each RIPD agent has an outward appearance on Earth different from their past body. When Nick confronts Julia she sees him as an elderly Asian man (James Hong), while Roy appears to normal folks as a bodacious buxom blonde (Marisa Miller). While in pursuit of Dead-Os, Nick and Roy become aware of a plot involving that stolen gold, a plot that threatens not only Julia, but the entire planet Earth.

To almost no one’s surprise, the big scene stealer in this caper is the always engaging Mr. Bridges. Roy is definitely a not-so-distant cousin of his Rooster Cogburn from the Coen brothers version of TRUE GRIT with a very big splash of cartoon icons Yosemite Sam and Foghorn Leghorn mixed in. He’s stubborn, gravelly (I wish he didn’t sound like he always has a big “plug a’ chaw'”), and endearing. Reynolds gets to show off his comic timing early on, but for the most part he’s regulated to being Bridges’s straight man while he tries to process this new world (so there’s quite a bit of his Hal Jordan from THE GREEN LANTERN here). Parker’s very funny as the ultra-stern boss (a take-off on the barking, crabby police captain), especially when reminded of her past with Roy. Bacon has found a real niche recently as a slimy, conniving creep in comics-inspired flicks like SUPER and X MEN: FIRST CLASS and makes Hayes an impressive antagonist. Szostak has little to do besides grieve and act as the final act’s damsel-in-distress, but she’s a lovely fresh screen presence.

After seeing the trailers my first thought (and probably yours) turns out to be true. Turn the Dead-Os into aliens and cut out the “here after” stuff and this is the deceased Men in Black. The parallels are just too close. Once the Dead-Os get a whiff of spicy Cuman they revert to their true form so we get a lot of blobby make-up EFX enhanced with CGI ( a variation of Rick Baker’s MIB work). Sure Will Smith’s cop wasn’t married and Bridges is a lot more verbal than the tight-lipped Jones, but this is just too close. The MIBs and RIPDs even have similar cool weapons and gadgets. We feel we’ve seen everything all before, particularly the big city-destroying climax. For the last few months every third film seems to delight in endless flipping cars and crumbling buildings during its final scenes. Too say it feel mind-numbingly repetitive is an understatement. Enough already! Before these sequences we’re treated to many, many action set pieces with the principals crashing through windows, bouncing off walls, and being flung hundreds of feet. But since they’re already dead, they shake it off like Wile E. Coyote and resume the ponderous chase. Even the bickering between the two partners gets increasingly tiresome. Bridges is always interesting, but he can’t make this formulaic re-hash memorable. You won’t need one of the MIB Mind-Wiper Strobe Pens in order to completely forget this misfire.

2 Out of 5 Stars

Well, there’s a bit more to the title than that. According to the opening animation sequence this is called CRYSTAL FAIRY & THE MAGIC CACTUS & 2012, whew!  Pretty complicated for what is really a fairly simple story. It’s a road trip picture with an American really out of his depth. Oh, and he’s on a quest as was Martin Sheen in THE WAY. But in this flick Michael Cera is not seeking spiritual enlightenment. Nor does he want to visit any famous sites or landmarks. He’s taking this trip so that, well, he can trip out. He’s got it all plotted out, but it looks like the title character is just gonna’ mess up everything.

As the film opens, we’re in modern-day Chile. American Jaimie (Cera) is meeting up with his Chilean pal, Champa (Juan Andres Silva) at a loud party where the drugs and booze are flowing. Early the next morning, the two, along with Champa’s brothers Lel and Pilo (played by Juan’s real-life brothers Jose Miguel and Agustin Silva) will pile into a van and drive off to San Pedro. There they’ll obtain a local cactus, that when boiled becomes a powerful hallucinogen. The plan is to drive to a nearby beach, cook the plant, drink its broth, and trip out under the stars while lying on the sand. Jaimie spies an earthy hippie chick doing an odd dance to the party tunes and decides to rescue her from possible embarrassment. Turns out that she’s an American too, and she goes by the name of Crystal Fairy (Gaby Hoffman). He invites her on the road trip and gives her his cell number. Early the next morning, a very hungover Jaimie is surprised when Crystal calls him and wants to be picked up along the way. Much to the chagrin of his brothers  and Jaimie, Champa insists they honor the invitation. Will she complicate their excursion and chemical experimentation?

After his hysterical cameo role in this Summer’s THIS IS THE END, Cera continues to dismantle his nice, nerdy shy guy image from previous films SUPERBAD and JUNO (and of course the TV cult hit “Arrested Development”). Jamie is the ultimate “ugly American” abroad. He’s over-indulgent, ignorant, pushy, and intolerant of the natives  and their customs. If he does have a problem with someone then he’s sure that a bit of dinero will solve anything. His single-minded pursuit of a cactus is crazy obsession at its most dogged. Plus he has no patience for the free-spirited Crystal. No, he doesn’t want her magic rocks dropped into his beer glass! Hoffman makes Crystal more than a spacey stereotype with an open attitude about her feelings (and body). Her mystical mumbo-jumbo masks a damaged soul. At times the young men want to protect her while she often exerts a motherly influence over them. The Silva brothers are natural actors who have a great rapport with the American stars.

Perhaps this is from the guidance of the film’s director, brother Sebastian Silva. The film may be too leisurely paced with the travelers make many, many stops along the way to the beach. Silva doesn’t resort to many typical camera tricks for the drug trip, although there is liberal use of slow motion and audio distortion. The choice of music, including a 60’s film theme from Henry Mancini, doesn’t always work. It’s a lovely travelogue of Chile, but its lack of dramatic momentum may have viewers checking the time. If you’re a Cera fan, then CRYSTAL FAIRY may be a journey worth taking, but it’s doubtful that many movie goers would ever want to make a return trip.

2 Out of 5

CRYSTAL FAIRY screens exclusively in the St. Louis area at Landmark’s Tivoli Theatre