Category: Movies

“I got the results of the test back – I definitely have breast cancer.”

The St. Louis movie event of the summer! Tommy Wiseau in THE ROOM plays at The Skyview Drive-in in Belleville (5700 N Belt W, Belleville, IL 62226), at 11pm Thursday June 24th. A Facebook invite can be found HERE. Tickets will only be sold at box office on June 24th. The Skyview’s site can be found HERE

There are different types of ‘Bad Movies’. It’s become sport to poke fun at bloated star vehicles such as ISHTAR, GLITTER, or GIGLI but those films are usually miserable experiences to actually sit through. There are films that are intentionally bad such as those from Troma studios (TOXIC AVENGER, POULTRYGEIST) but Troma knows its audience and anyone seeing a Troma film knows what they are getting into. Tommy Wiseau’s THE ROOM belongs with the group of movies that are so bad that they can transform their own awfulness into a “comedy of errors”. Unlike more mundane bad films, these films develop an ardent following of fans who love them because of their poor quality, because normally, the errors (technical or artistic) or wildly contrived plots are unlikely to be seen elsewhere and they become great entertainment in spite of themselves. PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE is the most famous film in this category but its director, Ed Wood, made his films while cloaked in an alcoholic haze (and bra) while convinced he was making great art. I’m not sure what Tommy Wiseau’s excuse is.

THE ROOM is an independently-made, self-distributed movie Wiseau wrote, directed, and starred in back in 2003 that would have been quickly forgotten if it hadn’t found new life after being discovered by some courageous Los Angeles movie fans. It’s been playing midnights in larger cities for a couple of years now, complete with prop-throwing, dialog-heckling, and the audience acting out scenes (think ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW without the bustiers).  I’ve seen THE ROOM many times (the first was from Netflix, when I watched it twice because I thought I had dreamed what I watched the first time) and can’t wait to see it again with a live interactive audience so I too can shout out “Lisa, you’re tearing me apart!” I won’t bother reviewing THE ROOM because there’s no real way of adequately describing the film’s amusements in standard critique but I will say that it really does live up (or in this case down) to its reputation.

A most uncomplicated love story, THE ROOM stars Wiseau as Johnny, a long-haired banker whose trampy girlfriend Lisa (Juliette Danielle) is having an affair with his best friend Mark (Greg Sestero). Johnny gets upset. The End. To be sure, THE ROOM is a craptacular train wreck that will have you rolling on the floor with laughter because of its stupidity, but it is so transcendent in its dreadfulness that it actually becomes a thing of beauty. All of THE ROOMS’s cult achievement rests squarely on the awkward shoulders of Tommy Wiseau, the creepiest leading man ever to grace the big screen. Wiseau looks like Gene Simmons’ squat, constipated brother and has an incredibly uncomfortable screen presence. Speaking in a vague Eastern European accent (he claims he’s originally from France. He also claims to study psychology ‘as a hobby’), his every line is mumbled in the same phonetic, euro-sleaze inflection and concluded with a forced, strangled giggle. Wiseu directs himself in three long soft-core sex scenes, each one accompanied by an excruciating song and while Wiseu could have hired as his leading lady an unattractive actress who could act or a beauty who couldn’t, Juliette Danielle is both homely and untalented. I hate to be cruel but with her bad teeth, folds of fat that pop out of her lingerie, and nervous tick neck-twitch, she actually outdoes Wiseu in the lack-of-charisma department (at I first suspected she must be Wiseau’s girlfriend until I read an interview where he claims to have discovered her the day before shooting began when he spotted her stepping off a bus!).

It’s hard to explain the appeal of THE ROOM to someone who hasn’t seen it. I could describe the craziness that abounds such as the scene when the guys go outside and toss a football around from about three feet apart while reciting wretched dialog, or mention that a main character announces she has cancer halfway through, a development never again revisited, but there’s no way my descriptions can do THE ROOM’s unintentional delights justice. After all the anti-acclaim the film has received, Wiseau has backpedaled and now claims he was making a spoof, or dark comedy all along. I’m not buying it.  I’ve read and seen too many interviews with Wiseau. I’ve interviewed him myself (he called me and said “You have twenty minutes of my time!”….an hour later I said to him “Dude, I have to go – gotta to make dinner for my kids!”). I’m convinced he really was trying to make a serious drama with THE ROOM. Watch the extras on the THE ROOM DVD and you’ll observe a man who just isn’t all there. I’ve never seen someone with such a complete lack of self-awareness and oblivious narcissism. Sorry Tommy, we’re not laughing with you, we’re laughing at you. I don’t mean to begrudge the guy, as I understand it takes a lot of hard work to get a feature film made and he should just be glad he’s managed to turn himself into something of a cult figure. Wiseau says THE ROOM was based on his unpublished novel and never-performed play (!). Wiseau also claims the film’s budget was 6 million dollars but I’m sure 95% of that went to pay for the billboards he posted along Sunset Boulevard for four straight years promoting THE ROOM that show a huge close-up of his foul mug and the purchase of a full page “for your Oscar consideration” ad in Variety. Wiseau’s film failed to receive any nominations but he has self-published a glossy commemorative hardback book on the making of THE ROOM. I must have that book! It doesn’t get worse than THE ROOM, and that’s a good thing.