Author: Rick

Guest Blog: Rick talks ‘Star Trek’

rickguestblogstartrek

Editors Note: Even though a lot of people are fan’s of Rick, we definitely are not. He uses a lot of foul language and can be offensive at times. If you decide to continue reading this, read at your own risk. If you don’t know who Rick is, he is part of the world famous Twin Brother Male Stripping duo known as Rick and Roddy. You can see more on http://rickandroddy.com

That ridiculous intro probably turned more than a few people away from this write up I am about to do, lucky for me my man juice is strong enough to bring them back.

Since the beginning of time there have been Trekkies and that is one thing that really creeps me out about this new ‘Star Trek’ movie. A bunch of guys sitting in their mom’s basement on the internet, and playing with their vulcans. Some people ask “Rick what do you have against Trekkies?”. Well its simple, I was doing a show a few years back at a Star Trek convention and I was viciously attacked(he stuck his hand in my pants and felt up little elvis like he was going out of buisness) by this asian man named George who said he was one of the original members of the show. Its just like these Trekkies to really think they are really part of the show or movies.

Since then I have had a hatred for these crazy bastards, and it also doesnt help that William Shatner smells like spam spread and cabbage patch dolls. I was doing the convention circuit a few years ago and he is such an attention whore they booked him on a male stripper tour. Our tables were right next to eachother and the entire time he would sit at his table trying to think of “Shatner facts” sort of like the “Chuck Norris Facts”. This is one that he came up with:

William Shatner can play “does it fit” with any inanimate object, especially your mom.

Sadly every one of the ones he came up with ended with “especially your mom”.

So to answer your question, No I am not excited about this new ‘Star Trek’ movie if for no other reason than a new group of Trekkies will crop up. Of course I could be wrong, I thought the Twilighters were pretty bad but some of those little gothic vampire girls look great wearing nothing at all, only after they turn 17 of course. If you get passed the fact they want to call you Edward the entire time, these girls young women are crazy little freaks in bed.

Guest Blog: Rick talks ‘Wolverine’

rickguestblog

Editors Note: Even though a lot of people are fan’s of Rick, we definitely are not. He uses a lot of foul language and can be offensive at times. If you decide to continue reading this, read at your own risk. If you don’t know who Rick is, he is part of the world famous Twin Brother Male Stripping duo known as Rick and Roddy. You can see more on http://rickandroddy.com

That intro was the ultimate in douche-baggery, but whatever it takes for me to spread my seed wisdom all over you guys then I will deal with it.

So ‘Wolverine’ (yes, I am too lazy to type out the entire name) comes out tomorrow and the question everyone keeps asking me is “Whoa dude, are you excited to go out and see this movie since it features the big buff stud, like yourself, Hugh Jackman?” The answer is NO… Hell no… absofuckinlutely no.

I really liked Jackman in the first 2 X-Men movies before Brett Ratner came and put his stink all over “X3” or as I like to refer to it as “Brett Ratner fucked with me and now I suck as a movie because he sucks at life”. Since then Jackman thought it would be a great idea to star in a movie with the same name as his home country. You don’t see me starring in movies called America, or United States(I did star in a movie once called ‘United States of well hung studs’ but I don’t count that), so why the hell would you be in a movie called ‘Australia’. Ill tell you, its to land poon. You only do movies like that to land way more poon then you were getting before however that still doesn’t justify it in my books because now he is just being stingy. Save some for the guys that don’t   have accents Hugh, you asshole.

Although this movie also stars Liev Schreiber, I think Tyler Mane would have been a better Sabertooth… oh wait, he already was. I am however pretty excited to see Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool. It will be the first time I have seen him since he married my sloppy seconds… tastes good huh? You have my number Scarlett Jo, so you know what to do.

All in all I would say my excitement level ranks up there with ‘High school Musical 3’, and ‘Hannah Montana The Movie’. This will definitely be no ‘Road House 2’, and Hugh Jackman will never be half the man that Jake Busey is.

Editors Note number 2: Sorry you all had to sit through that, hopefully Rick didnt offend too many of you.