Ahh, Remember… ‘Fright Night’

Melissa:

With all the Vampire hype from ‘Twilight’, I thought that I would take the time to explain what a REAL VAMPIRE movie is like… (Disclaimer: I did really enjoy ‘Twilight’… but in the girly-swoon at the hot, sensitive vampire way!)

While sharing some hot, make out time with his girlfriend Amy (Amanda Bearse), Charlie Brewster (William Ragsdale) gets distracted (guess it wasn’t that hot) from a coffin being carried into the house next door. With his knowledge gained by a vampire hunter who hosts scary movies on television, Charlie makes the decision that his neighbor is none-other than a vampire!

With the help of his best friend Evil Ed (Stephen Geoffreys) and the TV vampire slayer named Peter Vincent (Roddy McDowall), it is now Charlie’s mission to expose the vampire Jerry Dandrige (Chris Sarandon) and to send him back to where he came from. All Jerry the Vampire really wants is Charlie’s girlfriend Amy. (It’s hard to see her as attractive if you have ever seen ‘Married With Children’ since she plays Marcy D’Arcy, Peggy Bundy’s best friend!)

Things to look forward to…

Evil Ed turning into a wolf… For an eighties movie, they did a pretty decent job!

Amy turning into an awesome vampire!

Jerry Dandrige was the Edward Cullen of the time… It seems that girls who watched this movie seemed to swoon over him. He might look a little dated, but he is still an attractive piece of man meat!

It sticks to the basic vampire rules!

It follows the 80’s horror rule that nosey teens create a world of trouble… but not so much to rule out the happy ending!

Now… Let’s talk about Evil Ed! You knew this was coming. (No pun intended for those of you that know what I am about to say!) WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU MAN??? You give us gems like ‘Fright Night’ and ‘976-EVIL’, and then you go on to ‘Latin Crotch Rockets’, ‘Mechanics Bi Day, Lube Job bi Night’, and ‘Transexual Prostitutes 2′. DON’T FEAR THOUGH!!! It seems he is going back to horror with “Murder Diaries’ which is filming now!

So if you like cheesy, scary vampire fun then check out ‘Fright Night’… Remember… If I like it, then you’ll like it… lol

Rider Strong at St. Louis International Film Festival

Melissa:

So… The geeks are hanging out at the S.L.I.F.F. after-party at Blueberry Hill when Jeremy says “I don’t know if I’m just trying to see celebrities, but isn’t that Rider Strong at the bar?” Well… turns out it was… I mean, I should know, since I had a crush on him during my youth in his Boy Meets World days.

Turns out he and his brother Shiloh had an entry called Irish Twins in the festival. It’s a short about two brothers (Michael and Seamus Sullivan) born within one year of each other, and just how different they really are. Their differences become quite apparent on the eve of their father’s funeral.

So, thank you Mr. Strong for being so nice and even posing for a pic! (Funny thing is, I didn’t realize that we were going to the after-party and that I was a walking billboard… go MOVIE GEEKS SHIRT!!!)

Best of the Bad… ‘The Boyfriend School’ AKA ‘Don’t Tell Her It’s Me’

Steve Guttenberg… How I miss your face on the big screen. He was quite a leading man back in the day! The Boyfriend School aka Don’t Tell Her It’s Me from 1990 is certainly no exception!

Side note… I’m not sure why they decided to change the name, but Don’t Tell Her It’s Me is a much better title. It’s even the chorus of the opening song!

Steve Guttenberg plays Gus, a cartoonist that has gained weight and lost his hair from being ill. His sister, romance novelist Lizzie Potts (Shelley Long) takes it upon herself to get Gus back into the dating world by setting him up on a blind date with Emily (Jami Gertz). Although Emily thinks that Gus is nice, she is just not that physically attracted to him. See… Emily is one of those girls that swears up and down that looks don’t matter, that it’s the person inside that counts. She was proved wrong in this scene, she has no interest or desire in Gus despite the fact that he is an amazing and funny guy. Sadly, Gus falls head over heals for the brunette beauty.

Lizzie decides to transform her lover, using her romance writing knowledge of what women want to transform Gus into the perfect man. He works out, grows his hair back, and takes on the persona of Lobo Marunga, a biker from Australia.

By being romantic, yet mysterious, Lobo wins Emily’s heart. She breaks up with her horrible boyfriend Trout, (Kyle MacLauchlan) just to be with the hunky foreign biker. Being the nice guy that he is, he cannot keep up the lie and must tell her the truth! Will she still love him???

First off, Steve Guttenberg is playing a super hunky foreign guy that is irresistible to women! Does anyone else see the humor in this? Second, Shelley Long as an annoying, meddling sister? Hmm… I could never see her as annoying! LOL Third… STEVE GUTTENBERG IS PLAYING A SUPER HUNKY FOREIGN GUY THAT IS IRRESISTABLE TO WOMEN!!! Game, set, match… well played!

Another funny part about this movie is the character of Lizzie’s daughter Annabelle. Annabelle likes to eat engine oil, bugs, and inhale gas. The best part is Lizzie’s description to Annabelle about how her insides will rot and how she will die a slow, painful death if she continues to eat those things! It’s priceless!

There is also the first scene with Gus as Lobo wearing an all leather and denim outfit! I don’t know about you, but that screams romance! He’s the bad boy with an inner soul, what’s not to love!

Seriously, watch this movie! I promise an awesome night of making fun of Mr. Guttenberg and his attempts at being sexy and sensual!

Kevin Smith Week: ‘Clerks II’

Raise your hand if Kevin Smith rocks your face off!!!

Just so you know… I raised BOTH hands (but I can’t keep them up sinceits best that I put my feelings into words!).

The whole cast is back in this super funny sequel, and they serve it up in color! We pick up with Dante (Brian O’Halloran) and Randal (Jeff Anderson) on their way to another day at their dead end jobs. Since the Quickstop burnt to the ground, along with the video store connected to it, Dante and Randal have been forced to work at the local burger joint Mooby’s. Dante has now found love, and will be moving away from Randal with his clingy fiance. The story takes us through his last day at work, as he says goodbye to his boss (Rosario Dawson), who he had an affair with, and the crazy coworkers and customers of Mooby’s.Randal is still rude to the customers, Dante is still offended by Randal but puts up with him since they are best friends. But it wouldn’t be complete without some slackers hanging around the business.   You might know them, they go by Jay and Silent Bob (Jason Mewes and Kevin Smith).

The jokes in this film are fabulous! By far my favorite new character is Elias (Trevor Fehrman). Elias is a virginal teen who’s likes include God, church camp, Transformers, and Lord of the Rings. Elias brings us the fun of Pillow Pants, Listerfiend, “One Ring to rule them all”, and   “Since God created man, and man created the Transformers, the Transformers are like a gift from God, Randal!”. Innocence is funny!

Jay and Silent Bob are still selling drugs to the kids, but this time they are armed with the Holy Bible. I would throw some quotes in here, but I don’t think I could find any that would be PG. They are by far the coolest dudes ever!How cool you ask? I would punch someones grandmother to hang out with them! That’s how cool it would be! (Just so you know, it will never happen so all of you beautiful grandmothers are safe!) Rosario Dawson is a great addition to the cast. She’s attractive, sarcastic, smart, and can pull off the dorky attitude that fits with her less than cool cohorts.

I have heard people argue that Clerks II is not nearly as good as the original. Well, let’s think about this. Clerks was a groundbreaking film with dirty humor and lifelike characters. It was simplistic, and it didn’t try to blind you with beautiful characters and a well polished set. It was the first comedy of its kind. How can you recreate the first comedy of its kind? You don’t. Instead you evolve and build upon it, and that is exactly what Kevin Smith did. The characters were easy to relate to, with their dead end jobs and slacker attitudes. Clerks II picks up on where they are now, 10 years after the Quickstop burned down. I think if they would have shot it in the same way as the first, it would have been boring. I like the fact that they bring new characters into the picture, with a new job and color cinematographer. It would have been to easy to set it up exactly the same and do the exact same thing. Their new jobs are a great example of how we as Americans can easily fall into a rut with our careers. It’s been a decade and Dante and Randal are still just as unhappy with their occupations as they were 10 years ago. How many of us complain about our jobs yet stay in them for far too long? I dig that they can show this with some humor. Heck, it reminds me of a typical day hanging out with my friends, minus the Donkey show! I have far too many sarcastic slackers in my life, and I wouldn’t have it any other way!

So quit trying to just compare and enjoy what it has become. Enjoy the awesomeness that is called Clerks II. KEVIN SMITH ROCKS MY FACE OFF!

Breaking News… Ringo says “Ob-La-Da’ to Autographs!

Oh Ringo! Most of you I would hope are familiar with the great Ringo Starr. The reason that I can put this on the site is that not only is he an Ex-Beatle, but he has also been in quite a few movies, examples…Caveman, the made for TV Alice and Wonderland aka Alice Through The Looking Glass as the mock turtle, not to mention such Beatle-riffic films as HELP! and A Hard Days Night, and on several children’s shows… Such as Shining Time Station

Ringo Starr has announced on his official web page www.ringostarr.com that he will no longer sign autographs. For years if you sent him pictures, objects, basically anything related to him, he would happily sign it! Due to being overwhelmed and his busy schedule he and his pen hand have decided to call it quits! Anything postmarked after the 20th will not be signed! On his website it even asks for people to stop sending fan mail! I have nothing but respect for Mr. Starr. The Beatles are possibly my favorite band in the universe. Having said that, I was really put off by his video. He could have easily said that he cannot meet the many requests that he receives, or that its time to finally retire his mail request autographs… instead, he says to NOT SEND HIM FAN MAIL ANYMORE! THAT HE WILL NOT SEND AUTOGRAPHS ANYMORE BECAUSE HE IS TOO BUSY!

So… If you really want a picture signed, you better send it before the 20th… The address that I have is

1541 Ocean Ave, Suite 200, Santa Monica, CA 90401

I still love you Ringo!

[source: www.ringostarr.com]

Kirsten Dunst has confirmed she’ll be in ‘Spider-man 4’

Good news for all you Spider-Man fans! Spashpage.MTV.com is reporting that Dunst has confirmed that she will continue playing her role of Mary Jane Watson in the new Spider-Man 4! She had said previously that she would only sign in if Tobey Maguire and director Sam Raimi were participating in the film.

While promoting her new film “How To Lose Friends and Alienate People“, she finally confirmed the Spider-Fact to MTV News! Her mouth is zipped on any other details!

[source: MTV Splash]

Ahh, Remember ‘Beetlejuice’

Melissa:

Beetlegeuse! Beetlegeuse! Beetlegeuse!

So, I took a trip down memory lane tonight, like I often do during the week when the new Netflix mail hasn’t arrived, and decided to relive Tim Burton’s Beetlejuice. What’s better than spending the night with a bunch of freakish ghouls, a pre-kleptomaniac Winona Ryder, and Jeffrey Jones playing a normal father well before his child pornography arrest! Let’s start off October with a fun one!!!

Barbara and Adam have just gotten married (Geena Davis and Alec Baldwin). While decorating their perfect little country home, in their perfect little quite town, they run their car off the road to avoid a dog. Once they return home and notice the Handbook for the Recently Deceased on their table, as well as their lack of reflection, they come to the obvious conclusion that they are dead.

And what could be worse than being dead in your own home? Having New Yorkers invade, that’s what! The Deetze family decide to completely remodel the home after purchasing it and turn Barbara and Adams’ (non)lives upside down! The house is soon turned into some crazy version of a modern piece of art, full of wacky statues and bold colors. The only one who feels the need to respect the dead couple is Lydia, an ultra Goth teen who is fixated with depression and death. Lydia is the only person who can see Barbara and Adam, and befriends them.

Continue reading Ahh, Remember ‘Beetlejuice’

Review: ‘The Duchess’

Zac:

Keira Knightley stars in this new period film that keeps a quick pace, doesn’t try to be overly eloquent and pompous and strikes a cord at being kind of a new breed of costume drama that was most recently seen with Marie Antoinette, for a very successful experience.
Georgiana (Knightley) was daughter of a wealthy family who sets her up with the Duke of Devonshire (Ralph Fiennes) who is an older and unmarried man who is looking to produce a male error first and foremost with Georgiana.   The marriage does not go on like a fairy tale like Georgiana expected and her desires and curiosity are peaked by her close friend Bess Foster (Hayley Atwell) who shows her that there is more to marriage then reproduction.   I can’t really go into the plot much further, but the film doesn’t really pull any huge twists on your, and projects things well while subtly telling the story as it moves along over the years.
The film is sharply made and almost never drags, which is a great accomplishment for a costume period piece.   The film is rarely dull and always looks wonderful, while capturing the look and feel of the time extremely well.   The costume work is phenomenal as is the elaborate hair that Keira shows off will drive the ladies crazy I am sure.   The story itself is also a nice little piece of history that most people probably are un-aware of and remains entertaining even without being wound in and out of the times of the era, and stands well on its own as just the story of a woman and struggles with love and family.
The acting in the film is also top notch even with the absence of any real stars outside the male and female leads.   Keira Knightley does a solid job as the title character and does a very good job of selling us on our conflicting desires towards love and family.   She carries such a strong presence in the film and never comes across as to fancy or bawdy, it that is a relief to this reviewer.   Ralph Fiennes steals the show though, as he owns every scene he is in, and nails the wealthy and established male mindset of the age.   The job of a man in a high position of royalty is to make sure his name carries on and his concerns may be little beyond that with his wife, and while his attitude is poor and mean towards her, he doesn’t necessarily mean too, he just doesn’t know any better.   And Fiennes captures that perfectly as his absurdity is hilarious and his manner is frustrating, but his character is ultimately sad to us because he is oblivious as to how he should treat his wife.   Hayley Atwell is a relative new comer and she holds her own very well with the two quality actors already listed, but her character gets mixed up in an awkward mix of what she really is to these people, and her character and many things surrounding her and the Duchess come across as a bit unbelievable.   Though, like I said, I don’t think that is her fault as much as the handling and complexity of the person in real life.   Dominic Cooper also does an admirable job Charles Grey, and while he doesn’t have a lot to work with, he does a fine job.
The Duchess in the end is an entertaining, beautifully shot, acted and crafted piece of cinema.   The premise isn’t anything ground breaking or original, but it is definitely a better entry in the genre.   Outside a bit of a mishandling of Bess’s character, the film works great from pretty much start to finish, and is almost always engaging.   If you are a fan of the costume period drama, this one will not disappoint and there is plenty of humor and a great little story to win over those that might be turned off by the same old period material, as this is a breath of fresh air to the genre.

[rating: 4/5]

Melissa:

OK, we all know that Keira Knightley is quite the attractively blessed individual. Whew! That’s out of the way! So wipe the drool from your mouth as I begin my review of “The Duchess”.

Knightley stars in the true story of a young girl, Georgiana Spencer, who is thrilled to be marrying the Duke of Devonshire (Ralf Fiennes), only to be trapped in a loveless marriage filled with adultery and betrayal as she tries to bare a son to the throne. She is celebrated among her people for her beauty, sense of style, and her charisma (Keira Knightley playing an attractive person?! NO WAY!!!). Her idealistic views such as freedom for all people, including those outside of her decadent Whig Party, soon leads her into the arms of Charles Grey (Dominic Cooper), a lifelong friend turned politician who fights for those same freedoms.

Being a period piece, the only thing that really sets this apart from the other corset wearing, adultery and betrayal films portraying the same time period is that this is based on the true story of Georgiana Cavendish (June 7, 1757-March 30, 1806) as portrayed in the book “Georgiana: Duchess of Devonshire” by Amanda Foreman. She was a political woman, much like in the movie, in a time where women were not given certain freedoms, such as the right to vote. Yet she used her influences to try and make a difference in her surrounding world.

There’s only one thing that was slightly odd to me. They were so concerned with freedom and the common man’s rights, but I don’t recall the servants speaking one time, unless it was such a trivial line that I don’t remember.

The movie will, at the very least, gain credit for the elaborate and intricate costumes. Georgiana does not repeat one single dress, and each is crafted to perfection with beautiful details! It was a marvel to look at!

Even though it does not stand out much from other films that cover this period, it’s still entertaining and enjoyable.   It’s hard not to fall in love with Georgiana and cheer for her happiness.

… and Keira Knightley is hot! There! Are you happy!!!

[rating:3.5/5]

Best of the Bad… ‘Frankenhooker’

Melissa:

“Wanna date?”

Do you like 80’s babes? Science geeks? Watching hookers go crazy for super crack? Then boy do I have a movie for you! (Yes. It was released in 1990 but they are still 80’s babes!).

Directed by Frank Hennenlotter, who gave us the awesomely bad ‘Basket Case’ series, ‘Frankenhooker’ follows the story of Jeffrey Franken (James Lorinz), an electrician/mad scientist/medical student flunky who spends his time conducting odd experiments. The only person who doesn’t find him freakish is his girlfriend Elizabeth Shelley (Patty Mullen), a pretty girl with a bit of a weight problem. When Elizabeth is killed by a freak lawnmower accident, Jeffrey makes it his mission to rebuild her using her leftover head. (Let’s face it, Jeffrey is not exactly a catch! Elizabeth is probably the only woman on the planet to find him remotely attractive!)

One catch though… If Jeffrey’s going to rebuild her, then he’s going to give her the perfect body! Her head is stored in a freezer filled with some sort of preserving formula, only to bring it out for romantic candlelit dinners and meaningful conversations until he devises a plan.

Hmmm… Now where can he find body parts for the perfect woman?

I know! Hookers! Let’s find some really attractive hookers and kill them for their body parts using super crack! Yes, SUPER CRACK! That’s the most logical solution that I can think of!

But wait! There’s more! When Jeffrey finally rebuilds his beloved Elizabeth and brings her back to life in the electrical storm (Wait…Electrical Storm…Franken… Oh! I get it!), she starts turning tricks and acting like the hookers that make up her now hot body! This leaves our beloved Jeffrey to find her as she runs the streets of New York, turning tricks and taking lives. That’s some woman!

Sure the movie lacks things like an intricate story line, big names, and witty banter, but it doesn’t really matter. Sometimes you just want to see someone killed by some good ol’ spontaneous combustion from super crack!

The first time I saw this movie my face hurt from laughter! It’s completely ridiculous! So if you’re looking for a cheesy horror film that’ll leave you rolling on the floor, check this one out!