Author: Mark Glass

THE HITMAN’S WIFE’S BODYGUARD – Review

(l-r) Samuel L. Jackson, Antonio Banderas, Salma Hayek, and Ryan Reynolds in THE HITMAN’S WIFE’S BODYGUARD. Courtesy of Lionsgate

The first movie, THE HITMAN’S BODYGUARD (2017), without “wife’s” in the title, was a delightful buddy action comedy. The drop-off of this sequel is monstrously precipitous, making it a huge disappointment-in-waiting for fans of the progenitor. How can a cast of Ryan Reynolds, Samuel L. Jackson, Salma Hayek, Antonio Banderas, Gary Oldman and Morgan – freakin’ – Freeman go so wrong? It appears that so much was spent on the stars, and a slew of lovely European locations, that there was nothing left for the screenplay or editing. It winds up a hyperbolic mess with only occasional laughs to reward the viewer.

In THE HITMAN’S WIFE’S BODYGUARD, bodyguard Michael Bryce (Ryan Reynolds) is stressed out by the continued suspension of the bodyguard license he lost in the first movie. He’s haunted by dreams (literally) of winning industry honors, just like his dad. The last thing he wants is to see hitman Darius Kincaid ( Samuel L. Jackson), newly married to con artist Sonia Kincaid (Salma Hayek). But the demented duo decides they need him to defeat bad guy Aristotle Papadopolous ( Antonio Banderas), a wealthy, mad Greek who wants to restore his country to its ancient glory by destroying the European Union. As if that makes sense. Also in the cast, in smaller roles, are Morgan Freeman, Tom Hopper, Richard Grant, Frank Grillo and Gary Oldman.



The plot is just an excuse for everyone to run around to deal with an assortment of threats and foes. Hayek and Banderas, particularly, overact to the point of cartoonishness – seemingly on purpose. The bond between Reynolds and Jackson that evolved so charmingly in the first is reduced to ashes. Instead of a comedy, this plays out almost as a spoof on the first film, missing even that mark. Rarely has so much bankable talent been put to such poor use.

The film references early James Bond and other action films, and specially calls out the 1987 Goldie Hawn – Kurt Russell comedy OVERBOARD, but little comedic use is made of the references. Often after some spectacular CGI explosion, there is a pause to insert a witty quip, but all we get are gems like “I hope they are OK” after a boat explodes.

Tom O’Connor was the sole credited writer for the first. For this sequel, he was joined by brothers Brandon and Phillip Murphy. Two heads may be better than one, but this is evidence that three can be worse than either. Patrick Hughes directed both, causing one to wonder how he lost so much of his comedic sensibility in the four intervening years. I’m guessing that the cast had a lot more fun horsing around on the sets than most of us will have watching the result.

This pointless sequel is a veritable poster-child for unnecessary and bad sequels, a total waste of a good cast and a total waste of viewers’ time. THE HITMAN’S WIFE’S BODYGUARD opens Wednesday, June 16, in theaters nationwide.

RATING: 1 out of 4 stars

SEKTA – TV Series Review

Marta Kessler as Kira and Svetlana Khodchenkova as Lilya in “Sekta.” Courtesy of MHZChoice.com

Good news, of a sort. The US is apparently not the only country having problems with cults. The Russian TV miniseries “Sekta” (“The Sect”) dramatizes the emotional and physical brutality of what cults can do to the gullible, and how hard it can be for others to rescue and de-program the victims. Powerful, if unpleasant, to witness, yet seemingly insightful and realistic about short and long-term effects on all touched by such situations.

The protagonist is a nurse, Lilya (Svetlana Khodchenkova), who helps a trio of parent-hired freelancers after they’ve managed to retrieve an unwilling Nika (Anastasiya Chistyakova) from her large, violent cult. The leader is a charismatic guy who claims the usual sort of insight beyond this lifetime, and a path to eternal bliss. They have no problem using any means to retake Nika, who supposedly is the key to their ritual ascension. They are also extremely well-funded, with clout in high places to keep the cops away. The proceedings are further complicated by Lily’s baggage from her previous trauma in another cult, and raising a young daughter, Kira (Marta Kessler), who may have some powers of her own. Lilya’s problems from that ordeal may not be completely behind her in several respects.

The early going is rather confusing, with numerous flashbacks delaying our understanding of what’s going on now, and what it all means. But patience will be rewarded, as the past and current story lines converge into an action-packed chain of events. Nika has been thoroughly brainwashed, and staunchly resists the process of returning to what we call a normal life. The “cure” often seems almost as bad as the indoctrination had been.

The sets are excellent for their bleakness that suits the subject matter. First-rate performances from the three women and Filipp Yankovski, as Berk the creepy, mesmerizing leader of Nika’s cult. He resembles a young Royal Dano, for those who recall that great character actor of yore. Gaunt and driven, one sees how his special brand of narcissistic psychopathy could reel in those who feel lost and adrift in their communities. Leaders of religious and political cults generally seem so certain of whatever they’re spewing, that the “Kool-Aid” seems plausible, and better than any other options they perceive.

Watching this is not a relaxing binge. But if you’re in the mood for something serious, with the bonus of the rare opportunity to see what Russians are viewing, it’s a good bet. “Sekta,” in Russian with English subtitles, is streaming now on MHZChoice.com

RATING: 3 out of 4 stars

THE FOX (“Die Fuchsin”) – TV Review

A scene from THE FOX series. Courtesy of MHz Choice.com

The title of this German television series refers neither to the critter hunted by British aristos, nor the descriptor of attractive women before the PC era. It’s a rather frumpy middle-aged German woman named Anne Fuchs, with a deceptively keen mind. Despite librarian-esque appearances, she had been a top-notch East German spy until her career ended due to some misadventure or misconduct, and the disappearance of her son 20 years before the action, in this excellent five-episode TV crime drama.

The eponymous Anne Fuchs (Lina Wendel) is unemployed. She meets a young couple who run a café. When the wife’s brother vanishes after his best friend was murdered, they hire Fuchs to help them find and, ideally, exonerate or protect the fellow. This opens a new career path for Fuchs, and begins an odd-couple partnership with the husband, Youssef el Kilali (played by Karim Charif), that runs for the rest of the series. Youssef adds a bit of street smarts, a few contacts and a healthy dose of skepticism to their adventures. Each episode is a new stand-alone mystery, interlaced with the gradual unfolding of her backstory, with some new answers to old questions.

And, as must be the case in such programs regardless of the country of origin, there’s a gruff police detective (Robert Dolle, who resembles Christopher Lloyd with a shaved head that adds a touch of James Carville) who is dubious about these amateurs.

The stories are diverse, well-written, and performed at a pace that minimizes the distraction of subtitles. The relationships among the principals grow nicely, with touches of comic relief, mostly from Youssef) as counterpoint to the primary suspense tale. Flashbacks in the early episodes were a bit confusing, but wind up adding value and clarity to the product.

As usual for European cop series, the proceedings are less visceral, and more cerebral. Their physical confrontations are fewer and shorter, with the protagonists less likely to prevail. Either police over there get into fewer fist fights and shootouts than ours, or the viewers lack desire for our level of adrenaline spewing.

The five episodes deliver an entertaining experience, with an ending that satisfies, as is, but also  creating hope for more to come from our new friends. For those in the latter group, there’s good news, as well. These were made from 2015-19. I learned of two more airing earlier this year, which will allow us to continue rooting for this detecting duo whenever they cross The Pond.

THE FOX, in German with English subtitles, is now streaming on premium service mhzchoice.com

RATING: 3 1/2 out of 4 stars

UNDERCOVER PUNCH & GUN – Review

A scene from UNDERCOVER PUNCH & GUN. Courtesy of Sil-Metropole Organisation

Fasten your seat belts for this high-octane Hong Kong crime story. In UNDERCOVER PUNCH & GUN (aka UNDERCOVER VS. UNDERCOVER), Wu (Philip Ng) is an undercover cop, firmly embedded in the upper echelon of the local smuggling and drug trade. There are several factions with tenuous associations and rivalries, all poised to switch on short notice. Or less. As is often the case, Wu not only faces the constant concern over having his cover blown, but, as is often the case for these dramas, develops personal relations with some of his targets that add layers to the suspense.

Don’t worry about the story; nothing new intended or to be found there. It’s all a setup for the slew of action sequences which are a whole ’nother matter. But for those who care about such things, Wu stays undercover for longer than originally planned because he’s risen to become the main dealer/smuggler’s right-hand man, and heir to the throne. He’s also fallen in love with the boss’ lovely, relatively innocent, daughter. He aims higher on the bust count (arrests, not breasts),  pursuing not only the dragon lady who manufactures most of the crystal meth they distribute, but an even bigger, badder player who is trying to take over from the others and expand the territory to the rest of Asia, Infinity and Beyond. Alliances ebb and flow along the way to resolution, making the film even more complicated (not good), but setting up more action sequences (very good).

This flick offers some of the most exciting chases, fights and shootouts one can find anywhere. Every conceivable location, from high-rise buildings, to docks, warehouses and construction sites, to ships at sea hosts one or more of these fast-paced scenes, offering all the adrenaline rush genre devotees hope for. A parkour-esque foot chase is reminiscent of the thrilling full-on parkour chase by Daniel Craig’s James Bond near the beginning of CASINO ROYALE. The only thing missing is snakes (or Wesley Snipes) on a plane. Wenjuan Feng and Carrie Ng contribute the good and evil sides of eye candy. Several good and bad guys chip in bits of comic relief during and between the mayhem moments. If you need a fix for a Jet Li or Tony Jaa type of experience, this delivers, with the bonus of some new faces with bright futures.

UNDERCOVER PUNCH & GUN, in Mandarin and Cantonese with English subtitles, is available on streaming, DVD and Blu-ray on June 8, 2021.

RIDERS OF JUSTICE – Review

A scene from RIDERS OF JUSTICE (Retfærdighedens Ryttere), a Magnet release.
Photo credit: Rolf Konow. Courtesy of Magnet Releasing

Although the title reads like something from a 1930s Western, this is a very contemporary Danish revenge flick with a unique blend of action and comedy, written and directed by Anders Thomas Jensen and starring Mads Mikkelsen (Oscar-winning ANOTHER ROUND, TV’s “Hannibal”). It is also my favorite film, thus far, of 2021. Sneaky excellence in a surprising package.

We open with math geek Otto (Nikolaj Lie Kaas) struggling to explain the commercial value of his algorithm for predictions, factoring far more causal factors than any other program. It is akin to the axiomatic butterfly in Africa fluttering its wings setting in motion a chain of events that result in something quite different across the globe. The tunnel-vision Board fails to see how it will serve their only goal of selling their product, so they fire him and his fellow nerds.

That lands him in a commuter train car (earlier than usual) which explodes, killing a bunch of the passengers. One is a woman to whom he chivalrously gave his seat. Otto and the woman’s teen daughter, Mathilde (Andrea Heick Gadeberg) survive. He learns that the key witness about to testify against the head of a local gang of thugs – the eponymous Riders – is another casualty of this seeming accident.

But filled with survivor’s guilt, and licking the fresh wounds of his rejected program, Otto recalls seeing something that convinces him the blast was a planned hit on the witness, rather than a random bit of bad luck. The police dismiss his speculation. So Otto and his cohorts Lennart (Lars Brygmann) and Emmenthaler (Nicolas Bro) start trying to prove their point via their method. They take this idea to the husband of the unlucky lady, Markus (Mads Mikkelsen), a hard-nosed career soldier who was forced to interrupt his career abroad to try being a parent to his surly teen daughter Mathilde.

From that point on, the movie is a masterful blend of action, slapstick and character comedy as the foursome hunts the perps to right that hideous wrong, while keeping Markus’ daughter from learning what they’re doing. She’s busy trying to convince her angry, taciturn dad to open up and deal with his feelings, not knowing his method is already in process, and about as far from a shrink’s couch as one could get.

This film plays as a welcome novelty in the “Don’t-F***-with- My-Family” genre. Mikkelsen assumes the mantle of a Danish Liam Neeson, who has established himself (and his particular set of skills) as an Irish Charles Bronson, who made a career of being an American Chuck Norris, with the bonus of added range and talent. There is plenty of action, delightful humor and the proper amount of emotional work in this wonderful dark comedy. The four male avengers contribute first-rate performances in fleshing out relatable, complex protagonists. With all the worldwide travel restrictions of the past year, we can be grateful none apply to importing films like this.

RIDERS OF JUSTICE, in Danish with English subtitles, opens Friday, May 14, at Landmark’s Plaza Frontenac Cinema and streaming on demand.

RATING: 3 1/2 out of 4 stars

TOM CLANCY’S WITHOUT REMORSE – Review

Michael B. Jordan stars in WITHOUT REMORSE Photo: Nadja Klier © 2020 Paramount Pictures

TOM CLANCY’S WITHOUT REMORSE is an action film origin tale for John Clark, who Tom Clancy fans will recognize as one of the characters in the best-selling author’s Jack Ryan universe. Our hero John Kelly (Michael B. Jordan) is a Navy SEAL whose team is betrayed on its opening rescue mission, costing one life under much heavier fire than the CIA led them to expect. At home three months later, two members of his unit are murdered; then the attempt at getting him leads to losing his pregnant wife. Who’s behind all of this? What are the hidden agendas? Can Jordan get the answers and avenge these losses?

No matter how many times one sees action movies with this premise, whether in contemporary spy and crime fare; vintage Asian martial arts, or Spaghetti (and domestic) Westerns, viewers can generally find satisfying entertainment, and even catharsis, if the characters are strong and the action is sufficiently visceral. In many cases, as is true here, the other piece is for the plot to be arcane enough to be unsure just who the villains actually are. All three boxes are adequately checked in a brisk production, that is just confusing enough for the right amount of suspense.

So there is nothing new to be found in this one. TOM CLANCY’S WITHOUT REMORSE is just a solid entry into the genre, like dozens of others, that can be perfect for anyone craving this sort of cinematic snack. With all the problems and upheavals of the past few years, this is a timely bit of escapism that may nourish the frustrated spirit.

TOM CLANCY’S WITHOUT REMORSE opens streaming only on Friday, April 30, exclusively on Amazon Prime Video,

EAT WHEATIES – Review

By Mark Glass

Obviously, many people love Tony Hale, and the string of socially awkward characters he’s played in dozens of vehicles. Ever since TV’s “Arrested Development,” his shtick has started wearing out its welcome for me. That gave me trepidation about this comedy about a former college nerd appointed to co-chair a class reunion, depending heavily on his ability to contact the actual Elizabeth Banks, remind her of their blink of acquaintance back then, and convince her to attend the event. As required of such films, things go terribly awry, setting up the comedic plot course. As feared, they forgot most of the comedy component.

The shame of this is the broad, talented cast the writers wasted. Alan Tudyk, Elisha Cuthbert, Sarah Chalke, Robbie Amell, Emmanuelle Vaugier, Mimi Kennedy and other familiar names and faces have all entertained us in much better films and TV series. The script obviously appeared more attractive to them in print than in its execution.

Hale plays a social-networking virgin, forced to join Facebook to discharge his duties. His attempts to contact Ms. Banks are mostly on-line and through the screening of her highly-protective agents. He is wrongly branded a stalker and publicly humiliated, causing his life to fall apart before the cinematically-essential upswing in his fate.

One must suspend a lot more disbelief than is justified to stay amused by these proceedings. Hale’s downfall goes too far, and takes up too much of the film’s running time, for an effective comedy. Empathy degrades steadily, as compared to the connections viewers form with other lovable losers like a Napoleon Dynamite, or the eponymous Nerds who kept on seeking Revenge for four feature flicks.

Writer-director Scott Abramovitch is a relative novice, with only a handful of credits. Ideally, this will be a learning experience that leads to better productions. Da kid may have potential.

RATING: 1 out of 4 stars

Screen Media will release in theaters and on demand on April 30.

SENIOR MOMENT – Review

By Mark Glass

I approached this rom-com among the elderly with great trepidation. The cast of SENIOR MOMENT is headed by three actors whose work I’ve enjoyed many times – William Shatner, Christopher Lloyd and Jean Smart. The anxiety comes from decades of such films turning out to be mush that can be downed without dentures, as the seniors become caricatures in absurd situations. One common trope is for a hot, much younger woman to fall for a man old enough to be at least her father. Such connections develop even without the geriatric gent having enough money or fame to provide incentive. I suppose the tradition arose from old white male studio heads, who lived their own fantasies vicariously via the screening room. If a Walter Matthau character could reel in an Ann-Margret, as he did in GRUMPY OLD MEN, hope remains alive for them and the old dudes who buy tickets. 

Mercifully, this script resists the temptations of schmaltz and gives us a relatively believable story, set in a California desert city, mainly full of retirees. Shatner is a former jet pilot, who chases skirts ardently, propping up his appeal with his Porsche convertible. He drives rather sportily, if not recklessly, as part of his charm. Unfortunately, he does so once too often, costing him possession of his car and driver’s license. For him, that’s the equivalent of a gelding. The rest of the film follows his efforts to regain both with the help of several friends. Along the way, he meets a free-spirited, age-appropriate baker (Smart) for whom he develops an uncharacteristic attraction. You can fill in the rest of where they’ll wind up on your own. But screen writers Kurt Brungardt and Christopher Momenee make the journey entertaining, while director Giorgio Serafini runs the table in a crisp 92 minutes. 

There’s less need to suspend disbelief here than usual for the genre. The supporting cast contributes well all around. Scenes in a retirement home are free of cheap gags at the occupants’ expense. The scenery of Palm Springs and its environs is used to good advantage. Shatner forgoes the long mid-sentence pauses he made (in)famous as Star Trek’s Captain Kirk. That either means at 90 he’s more lucid than 50, or so, years ago; or he’s become a better actor, who no longer needs such gimmicks. Ideally, both would be true. Smart plays a very contemporary woman, strong and certain of her standards and aspirations, helping to make SENIOR MOMENT fresh and current. 

There’s nothing profound to be gained here, but at least it’s a safe bet for your entertainment time and money. That’s more than many wind up offering.

Rating: 2.5 out of 4 stars

In Select Theaters & On Demand March 26, 2021

BARB AND STAR GO TO VISTA DEL MAR – Review

By Mark Glass

For those who think COVID has changed everything in our lives, I have good news and bad news. The former is that although feature film releases have largely been in new and different venues, their timing might be the same as ever. The bad news is that the continuing pattern is of studios’ tendency to release the dregs of their inventories in January and February. That’s what’s left after they’ve rushed all the primo products out before 12/31 for Oscar eligibility. This one appears to be a prime example of business as usual. Unfortunately.

BARB AND STAR GO TO VISTA DEL MAR is a disappointing attempt at a coming-of-middle-age comedy. As any SNL fan knows from the range of her sketches, when Kristen Wiig is on her game, she can be hilarious; other characters of hers can be pointlessly or excessively annoying. In this outing, she and co-star Annie Mumolo play the eponymous gal pals who seem destined to splurge on a big vacation. They lost their jobs and were ousted from their suburban social circle (a nicely satiric group of tea-sipping Karens’ Talk Club) on the same day another friend gushes over her recent vacation to the titular Florida destination. And they’re off.

Unfortunately, their trip coincides with an over-the-top supervillain’s elaborate revenge plot against that resort town. She is sort of a distaff Dr. Evil, whose pasty complexion makes Tilda Swinton look like a sun-baked beach bunny. That’s not pale-shaming; it’s key to the plot. Such as it is.

Do you recall ROMY AND MICHELE’S HIGH SCHOOL REUNION from 1997? Lisa Kudrow and Mira Sorvino were a delight as ditzy innocents with a lifelong bond that synced their minds on a wavelength beyond most peoples’ comprehension. This one plays as if those characters are back 20+ years later, having been drained of all their charm. Barb and Star work and live together, chatting incessantly over mostly meaningless minutia that has kept them on their own island of reality. Their characters grow tiresome long before they grow in their story arcs. The result is a tedious experience, relieved somewhat by a smattering of truly funny moments. Among those are a few clever songs (one going almost full Bollywood) and surprising, mostly uncredited, cameos from stars who must have assumed the final script would turn out much better than the working version they were sent.

BARB AND STAR GO TO VISTA DEL MAR is mediocre fluff. Even so, for those who watch, here’s a bonus tip. During one character’s semi-romantic song on the beach, watch the shadows on the sand to see how many different times of day were involved in the filming. It’s something for the unengaged to do.

BARB AND STAR GO TO VISTA DEL MAR is available on demand as of February 12, 2021.

RATING: 1.5 out of 4 stars

https://barbandstar.movie/

Kristen Wig as Star and Annie Mumolo as Barb in Barb and Star Go to Vista Del Mar. Photo Credit: Cate Cameron