EENIE MEANIE – Review

Now, before the Summer of 2025 officially comes to a close, how about one last ride in a suped-up classic car with the law in hot pursuit as you cause thousands of dollars in property damage (other cars included). Hold up, they’re not sneaking that final FAST & THE FURIOUS flick into the multiplex unannounced. Oh, we have that to look forward to (or perhaps dread is more accurate). It seems that SUPERMAN wasn’t the only film zipping through the streets of Cleveland last year (both needed a year’s lead time). However, you’ll not be able to hear the screeching tires through Dolby Theatre’s speakers since this is a premiere streaming movie. And its title harkens back to the classic nursery rhyme, making us wonder if catching “by the toe” is possible when the driver’s nickname is EENIE MEANIE.

The story starts with a flashback when 14-year-old Edie defied the law (not the first time) by meeting her folks at a neighborhood “watering hole” and driving the sloshed pair home in the family car. Flash forward 17 years, as adult Edie (Samara Weaving) is partying a bit hard herself at the bachelorette party of her BBF “Babygirl” (Kyanna Simone). Edie’s got a full day ahead of her and starts it by waking up late, earning the ire of her boss at the bank. Naturally, a gang of crooks barges in, with one thug conking her on the head with his gun (which Edie tried to grab away from him). She wakes up in the doctor’s office, who tells her that she and her unborn child will be fine. WTF, pregnant?! Could it have happened during a brief “visit” with her now ex, bungling petty criminal John (Karl Glusman)? Now, Edie’s got to get to her junior college classes, but she goes past her bus stop in order to confront John at his sketchy apartment complex. When she arrives, he’s getting worked over by some “legbreakers”. Ignoring her first impulse to “dash”, she rescues him with the pair escaping in a stolen car. John brings her in on his latest scheme (she doesn’t give him her big news), which “goes South”. In order to cool things down, the duo begs forgiveness of the local crime boss (who has a soft spot for Edie, dubbing her “Eenie Meanie”), Nico (Andy Garcia). Seems that John has cost Nico a big “earner,” and the replacement fee is three million bucks! But Nico has a plan for them. The local casino’s having a big poker tournament with a three-million-dollar cash prize. No, John’s no good with cards, but Edie’s great with cars. Huh? Turns out that the cash prize will be put inside a classic Dodge Charger, which Edie will have to drive out of the crowded casino. The backup crew is all set, but can they possibly pull off this big “broad daylight” score, especially if John “gums up the works”? And when will Edie drop the big “baby bomb” on that doofus?

In the title role, Weaving does an engaging job of making many action film clichés feel fresh. Aside from putting her own “spin” on the “wheel man” role, she conveys the inner struggle of a young woman at a true crossroads. She’s got to leave her fun and footloose twenties and really plunge into adulthood as a prelude to motherhood. And though life has thrown a lot, a whole lot, at her, Weaving never makes Edie a victim, even as she talks about being put “in the system” and later, in the “joint”. I look forward to her future films (especially a sequel to READY OR NOT). She dominates the screen so confidently that it’s tough for co-star Glusman to shine. And though he thoroughly dives into his role, John’s more than a bit shallow. He’s a dimbulb for the first hour or so, getting naked or beaten up (or both) in order to liven up the pace and provide some cheap laughs. I’m sure Glusman could make him more sweet and endearing, like a destructive puppy, but the script doesn’t provide that. Which causes us to actively root against him and Edie getting back together. Garcia is very compelling and quite funny as the aging but still tough-as-nails “mini-kingpin”, whose gravelly voice goes up an octave when talking to his surrogate daughter Edie. Her real papa is played by the always entertaining Steve Zahn in the opening sequence, frantically warning Edie about a police stop, and later as we see him with his “start over” family facing a very different future. There are also several gifted comic actors in smaller roles. First there’s Randall Park, whose fate sets the big caper in motion, then Mike O’Malley as Nico’s sardonic best bud/caregiver, and Marshawn Lynch as the flashy getaway driver rival to Edie.

This film comes from writer/director Shawn Simmons, who’s truly going “all out” for his feature film directing debut as he mixes comedy, wild car stunts, and a touch of character drama. And some of it works very well, especially in creating the unique character of a woman “wheel man” in the same league as BABY DRIVER and DRIVE. He also makes excellent use of the grimy, mean-looking streets of Cleveland. Yet, much of the material feels worn and listless. What doesn’t really help is the story’s radical change in tone during the flawed final moments when a major character almost becomes an evil clone of the person we’d seen in the previous 80 minutes (I thought of that classic Trek tale “Mirror, Mirror”). A “tacked-on” rose-colored epilogue just doesn’t fit with that big reveal. The racing fans will enjoy seeing some of their favorite “muscle cars” careening past the squad cars, but aside from Ms. Weaving, there’s little that really puts the “pedal to the metal” in the uneven exploits of EENIE MEANIE.

2 Out of 4

EENIE MEANIE streams exclusively on Hulu beginning on August 22, 2025