THE 9TH LIFE OF LOUIS DRAX – Review

Okay, film fans let’s get serious. Really serious now. It’s September, so we’re done with all that summertime fluff. Though we’ll see another flick set in that galaxy far, far away in just a couple months, it’s now the season for those sober, somber awards contenders. And what better award bait than a literary adaptation. Y’know, bringing a big best-selling book to the big screen. This weekend another classy tome heads into theatres with THE LIGHT BETWEEN THE OCEANS. Oh, and the flick we’re about to discuss stars an actor who became the talk of the planet with his role in a steamy novel-turned-movie just last year. But’s what’s with this whimsical title, you may ask. Well, it may sound like a children’s story (like THE BFG) or even a “young adult” novel, but its focus quickly shifts to deceiving grown-ups who engage in adultery and, possibly, murder, most foul of course. Oh, and don’t heed the title number. We’re dealing not with a feline, but a very human child as we explore THE 9TH LIFE OF LOUIS DRAX.

The film actually begins with young Louis (Aiden Longworth) telling us of several near death experiences over the course of his not-a-decade old life. Falling ceiling lamps, electric shocks, food poisoning, you name it, Louis barely survived it. But now, Louis’s luck may have run out. He’s rushed to the hospital, clinging to life after falling (?) from a steep cliff into the ocean’s waters during a family picnic. The boy’s in a coma, and his devoted mother Natalie (Sarah Gadon) is in a panic. Luckily, the hospital brings in a specialist. After wrapping up a “TED-type” lecture, Dr. Allan Pascal (Jamie Dornan) begins work on trying to wake Louis. The police, led by Lt. Dalton (Molly Parker), are also close by. According to Natalie, her estranged hubby and father of Louis, Peter Drax (Aaron Paul) also took a fall after pushing his son over the edge. But Papa D has not been found, and Dalton believes Peter may head to the hospital and finish the job. As Allen begins to research the case, Natlaie tells him of her turbulent marriage, and of sending the troubled Louis to jovial, unconventional children’s’ therapist, Dr. Perez (Oliver Platt). Time passes, and Allen, whose own marriage is in flux, becomes fascinated and attracted to the tragic, fragile, golden-haired Natalie. But he still has many questions. Will her husband return to cause more havoc? What actually occurred during that fateful picnic. What of Natalie’s secret past? And will Louis finally wake up?

Dornan tries his best to distance himself from his breakthrough Christian Grey role with the more cerebral Dr. Pascal. I mean he’s got a beard that highlights his furrowed brow as he leans over the hospital bed of lil’ Louis. Aside from his longing leers at Mama Drax, there’s little to the character aside from being an outlet for tons of pseudoscientific meta-physical mumbo-jumbo and jargon. For much of the time this professional isn’t really upholding the Hippocratic oath. Gadon, as the object of his desire, has little to do while batting her eyelashes, fighting back near-constant tears, and modeling retro-sheek outfits that present her Natalie as a bizarro blend of Grace Kelly and June Cleaver. Her “pity me” pout telegraphs her character’s intentions a mile away. Longworth doesn’t have a chance to showcase his developing acting skills, as he’s hampered by turgid dialogue (what nine year-old talks like that?) and poor guidance that makes Louis a most grating young protagonist (c’mon, we want to root for the lad!). Aaron Paul succeeds at making the father a complex, fairly sympathetic character, but he’s also a prisoner of this stultifying screenplay. Like his TV co-star from “Breaking Bad” Bryan Cranston, he’s not yet found the right role to establish him in the movies (still, check him out in EYE IN THE SKY from earlier this year…promising). Molly Parker does her best with this thankless clichéd cop role. With almost non-existent social skills, how’d she ever rise through the ranks of the squad? Dalton has all the compassion and subtlety of a runaway tank. Speaking of thankless, what a waste of the usually interesting Platt as the indulgent, jovial psychiatrist, a punching bag version of Judd Hirsch’s shrink in ORDINARY PEOPLE. He must be well paid to take the taunts of Louis (“You’re like a big fat baby!”). Maybe that’s why his squalid office is clogged with great classic monster toys. But the biggest waste may be the lackluster cameo role given to the great Barbara Hershey as the screeching, bombastic Granny Drax. At least she didn’t have to stick around this mess for too long.

As I more than hinted in the previous paragraph, I had lots and lots of problems with this interminable atrocity. Director Alexandre Aja maintained such a snail’s pace, that I started to study the theatre’s design while noticing that much of the audience had given in to the “sandman”. But I realized we were in trouble from the film’s way too upbeat opening minutes. With its “crayon-scribble” opening credits, dotty music score, and whiplash cmaera moves and editing, Aja seemed to be going for a modern Roald Dahl dark fantasy feel. After this tone was tossed aside, the story bounced between a neo-noir seduction mystery and trippy looks inside the sleeping brain of Louis. He has a spirit guide that resembles a low-rent rip-off of the “Boggy Creek” muck monster (I was going to mention the golden age bog-beast “the Heap”, but it had none of its charisma). Oh, and the big mystery? For anyone who’s seen the vastly superior THE SIXTH SENSE, you’ll see the big reveal coming down the pike well before the film’s final act. There are so many ludicrous moments it almost veer into “good-bad” movie territory. The fancy hospital doesn’t have a nearby guest house for the parents of patients, so Natalie is given a hospital room…without a shower. This way Dr. Pascal can run into her, as she’s wrapped in a towel and dripping wet, in the hallway. It almost induces a chuckle if we weren’t in a stupor from the monotonous meandering screenplay by Max Minghella (a good actor in THE SOCIAL NETWORK and ART SCHOOL CONFIDENTIAL). Don’t be mislead by the whimsical, precious title. THE 9TH LIFE OF LOUIS DRAX is a ponderous pretentious misfire. Louie, Louie…me gotta’ go!!

1/2 Out of 5