WINTER’S TALE – The Review

WINTER’S TALE… more like WINTER’S SNAIL, because this movie is slow, boring, and incredibly hard not to shake your head at.

Based off of the novel by Mark Helprin, WINTER’S TALE tells the romantic tale of Peter Lake (Colin Farrell) , a orphaned thief trying to run away from the evil crime leader who took him in, Pearly Soames (Russell Crowe). While on his way out-of-town, destiny brings him to the doorstep of Beverly (Jessica Brown Findlay), a 20-year-old woman who is dying of consumption. Fate has brought them together, and Pearly is determined to rip them apart. See, Peter isn’t aware that he is surrounded by angels and demons. He must discover on his own that his fate has already been mapped out.

As a woman, I am really sick of movies that tell a half-assed story, but assume that because it’s a love story, it’s ok. Romance does not distract from holes in a story, nor is it an answer for things that don’t make sense. That’s like covering a pothole with a piece of glittery wrapping paper. It might sparkle, but the second you try to walk on it you’re gonna fall through because the hole is still there.

My first problem with this film is that it fails to explain anything. There is this hidden magical society living amongst humans, and they don’t really touch on how or why. Russell Crowe’s character is some sort of demon in human form that tries to stop miracles from happening, and robs the townspeople to try to rid the world of hope. Why does he want to rid the world of hope? Not sure. We do find out later on that he works for the devil (Will Smith), but we don’t know how that came to be, or why. He just is what he is. There are some religious references in this film, and it’s hard to ignore all of the good vs. evil, light vs. dark references that are put in weird spots throughout the film. Without giving too much away, this magical world exists, they don’t really explain why, and they give us no explanation of the magic or the rules. We, as the audience are just supposed to go “Oh, the devil. Cool. He’s in a t-shirt and hoop earrings during the turn of the century. Guess he transcends time. Gotcha!”. It’s not too much to ask for them to explain the rules of magic, or of their universe.

Normally I would worry about certain spoilers, but this next one goes along with my precious point, so consider this your warning. We learn that Peter Lake is frozen in time by love, and that the loss of Beverly has completely wiped his memory… that is, until Peter meets Virginia Gamely (Jennifer Connelly). Not only does Virginia help Peter regain his memory at lightening speed, but she doesn’t even begin to question how it’s possible for him to be the same man from the hundred year old photograph that she found. There is a slight moment of confusion, and then she just accepts it. Now, let’s get this straight… A modern-day New Yorker meets a stranger, helps him do some research, and then when the possibility arises that he is frozen in time, she simply accepts it? I’m all for hope, magic and romance, but if you are setting a story in modern-day New York, you need to take a few more minutes in your movie to explain some things. I mean, come on! How boring can you make this film? Things happen, and everyone just accepts it. Way to shake up the story guys.

Colin Farrell was actually quite likable in this film. My problems with this film has nothing to do with his acting. In fact, I rather enjoyed him. There were a few moments between his character and Beverly that I found extremely charming and heartwarming. Those moments were ripped away quickly by a terrible screenplay and horrible visual effects. Take the glorious Pegasus for example. I love mystical creatures. Who doesn’t? Having said that, there was a scene where Peter was riding the horse (before we found out that the horse could fly) across the bridge, and it looked like a bad green screen project from the internet. The horse wasn’t hitting the ground, but wasn’t supposed to be gliding or flying, and the bridge looked completely fake. Sure, the film has a stylized look, but even miracles have rules. If they didn’t, wouldn’t everyone know that they exist – ruining the faith part? Everyone can see your horse running away, but not hitting the ground Peter! Don’t you think half of the city would question that?

I could spend all day ripping this film apart, but I won’t. Akiva Goldsman (A BEAUTIFUL MIND, I AM LEGEND) is a great writer, but he missed the mark on his first directing feature. I don’t know if he took a different approach to writing this screenplay since he knew he would be directing it, but this film really missed the mark. With a cast like this, it’s really a bummer.

OVERALL RATING: 2 out of 5 stars

WINTER’S TALE is in theaters now