Tag: Universal Pictures

MINIONS: THE RISE OF GRU – Review

(from left) Kevin, Gru (Steve Carell) and Stuart in Illumination’s Minions: The Rise of Gru, directed by Kyle Balda.

As we enter the “middle Month” of Summer, moviegoers will finally get to see another “franchise flick” that’s been sitting on the shelf for well over two years now, much akin to the high-flying pilots that have dominated the box office. In fact a major fast-food chain offered toys based on the title characters back in June of 2020, though I’m betting those meals were still pretty happy. As you guessed this is an animated feature looking to fill the screens as that Space Ranger blasts away to a streaming service. And this is a most unusual movie for a “tent-pole” picture as it is both a prequel and a sequel…of a spin-off. Yes, it’s another look at the beginning of everybody’s favorite super-villain “wannabe” and the aides that assist him (when they’re not causing chaos) in MINIONS: THE RISE OF GRU.

The story does take us back, waaay back to the golden days of 1976, when a major metropolis was under seige by the criminal genius gang known as the “Vicious Six” As the story begins we’re watching the getaway of member Belle Bottom (voice Of Taraji P. Henson), who’s just grabbed a rare map, and is helped by the other members of her team (Jean-Clawed, Stronghold, etc.). Safe at their lair, the leader of the Six, Wild Knuckles (Alan Arkin) lays out the journey to a remote tropical jungle where they will acquire a magical device known as the “Zodiac Stone”. Ah, but the mission doesn’t go as planned. Belle double- crosses Knuckles, snatching away the stone, and dropping him into the murky nearby waters. Meanwhile, pre-teen Gru (Steve Carell) endures grade school so he can get back home and hatch new plots in his secret headquarters under the suburban home he shares with his distracted Mum (Julie Andrews). Oh, that’s where his army of minions also live supervised by the main trio of Kevin, Stuart, and Bob (all voiced by Pierre Coffin). Checking the mailbox, Gru is ecstatic to get a reply letter from the Six (maybe he’ll replace Knuckles). Ah, but upon his arrival, Belle calls him a child and dismisses him, though not before he leaves with the Z Stone. And later he’s kidnapped along with his prize, as his main minions look on in horror. Just who has taken young Gru and the stone? Can the minions catch up to him for a rescue, or will the still fuming Six (now Five, really) get to him first?

I suppose we can consider this fifth flick (2nd Minions after 3 DESPICABLE ME entries) a twelve-year celebration of the series that really put Illumination Studios on the map (and partnered them with Universal). And despite most of the work being “farmed -out” to their European branch, the quality is consistent with their other efforts. Carell is still an engaging riff on the “Cold War” spy flick masterminds and the minions still engage in lots of slapstick coupled with their “baby-talk gibberish”. But it’s starting to wear more than a bit “thin”. Too many “passing gas” gags (!) and bare yellow bottoms, though the very-youngest viewers can’t get enough (for the post-school crowd, we’re filled to the brim). The new voices are a welcome addition with many classic film “baddies” and even action heroes getting brief bits (Dolph Lundgren, Danny Trejo). Especially welcome is Arkin who appears to be doing a parody of his WAIT UNTIL DARK killer creeper. Henson’s has lots of funky fury,, though the character isn’t given much to do. Parents may appreciate the 70s pop songs and that era’s fads and fashions (flared hair, pet rocks), which are re-created in pastel candy colors. But the entire end product proves that three isn’t always a “magic number” as a trio of directors and writers have the story moving in sluggish spurts with odd detours ( a long subplot of the minions learning martial arts skills from a Michelle Yeoh acupuncturist seems “tacked on” for the overseas Asian markets). Plus it feels as though the producers were “beaten to the punch” as the recent animated caper THE BAD GUYS explored similar themes more vividly while this flick languished on “the shelf”. And it’s odd that one of this film’s biggest laughs comes from the use of a rotary phone ( a red one, not THE BLACK PHONE). And. like many recent animated features, the action set-pieces slow down long enough for the characters to give out a long scream into the audience’s face as their eyes “bug-out’ in fear. The constant use of this “technique’ is exhausting. The “pre-K’ set may still have “giggle-fits” at this yellow “pill-shape” destructive demons, but most animation afficianados will hope that MINIONS: THE RISE OF GRU will end its ascent. Of course, another DESPICABLE ME is in the works for 2024, so…


One and a Half Out of Four

MINIONS: THE RISE OF GRU is now playing in theatres everywhere

THE BLACK PHONE – Review

The Black Phone

Ah, the sweet nostalgic dreams of long-gone childhood. Carefree days, full of budding romance, bonds of friendship, and exploring adventures are lovingly recalled. Now, in horror flicks, well…it’s not that endearing. As a matter of fact, so many kids are menaced in terror tales, that it’s almost a “sub-genre”. The wee-ones have been menaced in everything from the classic THE CURSE OF THE CAT PEOPLE to (what they say is) the final season of the streaming sensation “Stranger Things”. Now, one of the “young Turks” of the movie “nail-biters” is ready to put those “brats” through the “ringer”. And his story source comes from an author with a familiar “fear history”. Somehow the biggest creeps come out of the earpiece of a common household device. Do you dare take a call from (creepy announcer voice followed by maniacal laughter) THE BLACK PHONE?

It’s the suburbs of Denver back in 1978, and despite the schoolyard talk of Fonzie and Ritchie, the days are far from happy. Well, the first day we see starts out well enough as fifteen-year-old Finney (Mason Thomas) almost strikes out a batter in the last moments of the big schoolyard game. Almost. But triumph turns to tragedy as a mysterious child abductor called by kids (in hushed tones or he’ll hear) “the Grabber” claims another victim. It’s all the talk between Finny and his devoted kid sister Gwen (Madeleine McGraw). That devotion comes from the “united front” they form trying to deal with their boozy, abusive, surly single father Terrence (Jeremy Davies). Things hit even closer to home when Finney’s protector from a trio of bullies, Robin (Miguel Cazarez Mora) vanishes. And things get more complicated when the police hear of Gwen’s “crime dreams”, complete with details unknown to the public. She’ll make use of her “second sight” when Finney stops to help a bumbling magician (Ethan Hawke) and is knocked out, tossed in a van, and locked in a dingy basement. Nearby the beaten-up floor mattress is a kitchen-style black rotary phone. Of course, it’s unconnected (says the Grabber), but it will ring due to static electricity. But when his captor leaves, Finney is awakened by the repetitive ringing. Out of annoyance, he picks it up…and someone answers. Could the weird voices on the other end be Finney’s ticket to survival and freedom?

Though the twisted images of the Grabber are being used as the film’s big selling point, the power of the production really rests on the young shoulders of Mr. Thomas. Sure, most of it comes from the fact that he’s in nearly every scene, but it all collapses if he doesn’t inspire us to be invested in his struggles, to “root” for him. And we do, from the moment his “big game” takes a lousy detour to his effort to escape his dire straights. In the opening act Thomas shows us that Finney has no sanctuary at home or at school, but he keeps pushing himself forward…leading to his eventual “test’. He’s ably complemented by McGraw, a gifted actress able to shift between comedy (her “prayers’ and police interview) and tragedy as she tries to accept her “dream talent’ even as her papa cruelly tries to drive it from her. Aside from her “visions’, any big brother would be lucky to know she’s “got his back”. Both siblings are bursting with the joy of youth, which makes for a stark contrast to their sullen, inebriated “old man” played with a melancholy rage by Davies. He just wants to quietly crawl into a bottle and drown, but that parental instinct can’t be held down, though his “methods” are often repugnant. Oh, and then there’s the “big bad” himself with Hawke a most unpredictable nightmare-inducer even through the marvelous masks created by makeup master Tom Savini and “legacy artist” Jason (son of Rick) Baker. At times Hawke projects an amiable nature (his goofy charm is part of the “lure”), but the beast explodes when things don’t fall into place as planned. Helping to ease some of the agonizing tension is the comic work of James Ransone as the hyper Max who thinks he can be a great asset to the frustrated cops (“so, we’re working together?”).

Oh, the “young Turk” I alluded to earlier, why that’s Scott Derrickson, who has made a name for himself by helming everything from a HELLRAISER sequel to a Marvel superhero, DOCTOR STRANGE (the first in the franchise). Almost from the start, he’s “toying’ with us, shifting from the “American pastime” right into every family’s worst fear. And then he’ll draw us back in with a wistful recreation of “simpler times” before the “interweb’ and media-savvy kids, but then shock us with a scene of “then accepted’ near-demonic parental abuse. That’s all neatly tied together by the screenplay he co-adapted with C. Robert Cargill based on the short story by Joe Hill. Oh, I also mentioned a “fear history”. That’s because Joe’s the son of Stephen King which may account for the inspirations from IT, STAND BY ME, and even MISERY. But it’s not a series of “touchstones” strung together. Derrickson is a skilled “spookster”, relying on quick cuts and inspired bits of subtle lighting and atmosphere, rather than cheap “jamp scares’ and a blasting music track thanks to the score by Mark Korven. Those wanting their “fright fix” will be more than sated, while many casual genre fans will be “grabbed” (sorry) by the 1970s vibe (though it often feels a few years earlier than the disco days of 78) and entranced by the polished performances by the young leads. And the youngest moviegoers may be stunned to see that their tiny, super-thin devices all sprung from clunky bulky boxes nailed to the walls just like THE BLACK PHONE.

3 out of 4

THE BLACK PHONE opens in theatres everywhere on Friday, June 24, 2022

JURASSIC WORLD DOMINION – Review

Chris Pratt as Owen Grady in JURASSIC WORLD DOMINION

Hey, even though we haven’t really unpacked from last weekend’s summer vacation jaunt to FIRE ISLAND, are you ready for some more “globe-hopping”? Perhaps you’re in the mood for another island getaway near the tropics. Well, Isla Nublar off the coast of Costa Rica has been a real “cinema destination” for almost thirty years. Until about four years ago when a volcano wiped out its theme park and its major attractions; lots and lots of genetically engineered dinosaurs. Now you recall the place…er…park. Ah, but those adaptable “thunder lizards” didn’t expire under a wave of molten lava. Their fate, along with their various protectors, researchers, and exploiters, is revealed in this weekend’s big, really massive, studio feature film. So, is it the sixth in the franchise or the finale in the second trilogy? That distinction can be debated at the multiplexes when audiences experience JURASSIC WORLD DOMINION.

To get everyone up to speed (it’s been four years now), a faux cable TV news feature tells us the story of that lost island, the transfer of the dinosaurs to America (and eventually all around the globe), and the missing rumored cloned granddaughter, Maisie (Isabella Sermon) of the original park founder John Hammond. As a sidebar we’re told of eccentric inventor Lewis Dodgson (Campbell Scott), whose tech firm, BioSyn wants to provide a sanctuary for the dinos where they can be studied in hopes of providing cures for many of mankind’s problems (disease, famine, etc.). We’re then sent to the Northwestern US where former “raptor-wrangler” Owen Grady (Chris Pratt) is playing “cowboy” as he and his team coral different dinos into a “safe” secret area, away from gangs of nefarious “poachers. Ah, his lady love Claire Dearing (Bryce Dallas Howard) is also doing her bit, but leading another team to liberate captured creatures at a mysterious lab/farm. The duo reunites in the secluded cabin they share with Maisie, who can’t resist speeding into town, and a lumber camp, with her bike. On one of her forest walks, she and Owen find this his old raptor Blue has given birth (a miracle). But there’s no time for rejoicing as both Maisie and Blue, Jr. are snatched up by the poacher gang, who seem to be working for someone with “big pockets’. Meanwhile, in West Texas, gigantic prehistoric locusts are decimating farmlands. A noted expert rushes there to investigate: Dr. Ellie Sattler (Laura Dern). But after examining one of the bugs, she brings in another “pair of eyes”, namely her old science partner Dr. Alan Grant (Sam Neill). Their findings point them to BioSyn, which now employs their old pal, Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jeff Goldblum) as a consultant. Across the country, Owen and Claire get a tip that Maisie and the baby raptor are going to Malta, where they’ll be put on a private jet to…you guessed it…BioSyn. There they hook up with a freelance pilot, Kayla (DeWanda Wise) to infiltrate the tech giant’s fortress-like lab in a wooded area in the “middle of nowhere”. Can they rescue the kidnapped duo? And will this intrepid trio cross paths with another, slightly older, but equally brainy and brave trio?

The biggest marketing “draw” for this flick is the reuniting of the main casts of the first and second trilogies (much like a certain “space saga”), so let’s start with the veterans of the 1990s (alright, into 2001). Dern shines the brightest of the trio as her Dr. Sattler is a more dynamic, “take charge” protagonist, able to keep her “cool” much longer than in the first flick, though she can still deliver that wide-eyed gaze of “awe’ as she tilts her head skyward (before letting out a wail), Neill is the dogged, a bit dour, “bone duster” who wants to grab at what might be his last chance and adventure (and Ellie). Goldblum seems to be doing a riff (perhaps even a parody) of his talk show/TV ads persona with his still halting, hesitant delivery (could he be turning into Shatner) while having a bit of fun with some social media “meme-fodder” of the first couple of “park jaunts”. As for the “kids”, Pratt gets little time to exercise his “hangdog’ screen charms before he’s in solid “action-hero mode” defying gravity and bouncing from one crash to the next with nary a scratch. Howard has a rougher time returning as Claire, now in “sensible footwear, but still the franchise’s “scream queen” though her “mama Grizzly” instinct has “switched on” thanks to her bonding with Maisie. Sermon has all the required teen “eye-rolling” and rebellious snark that most movie pre-teens exhibit, but with a touch of smart “self-discovery” as she learns of her true “origin story”. The big new addition to the “tentpole” is Scott as the current model of the big action flick “baddie”, as the vicious Russian mob kingpins are sent to the “straight-to-home-video” thrillers to make way for the socially awkward, twitchy, self-absorbed “brainiac”, an amalgam of media-savvy wunderkinds (the formula: a pinch of Musk, a dash of Zuckerburg, a hint of Gates, etc.). But there’s another good guy…er..lady tossed in as Wise puts a modern spin on the old scrappy “air jockeys”, who may bark, but will take you “up” for all the right reasons (“She’s held together by spit and chewing gum, but this ole’ bird’ll get you where ya’ need ta’ go!”). Oh, and there’s a supporting player from all the films, BD Wong as Dr. Wu, who’s more of a “sad scientist” than a mad one (“I can make things right”), while Omar Sy and Justice Smith, from WORLDs one and two, lend a brief hand in cameos.

Ugh, where to begin with this flick, that feels like two flicks clumsily smooshed together (it’s that old Reese’s Cup TV spot, “You got…in my…”). The movie’s momentum is completely “off the tracks” as we’re tossed back and forth from the “OG” dino trio to the recent couple as the script (it took three scribes) lurches from one locale (too many establishing subtitles …”Utah”, “Malta”, “West Texas”) and even switches genres as the action sequences in (again) Malta feels like a “Mission Impossible” extended chase, but with near-unstoppable CGI dinos (hey, I was hoping the looong pursuit might take them past the Sweethaven sets from 1980’s POPEYE…that’s how distracted I was). And then there were clumsy attempts at humor while lifting bits from better films. We see Goldberg doling out wisdom during a dull lecture, intercut with close-ups of his adoring, rapturous students (I expected one to have “I love you” scribbled on her eyelids). Of course, the leader of the poachers had greasy long hair and sneering southern accent (“Ah’ll git’ th’ gal fer ya’!”). Everything comes together (somewhat) when the “teams” unite during a big “destroy the HQ” sequence that goes on forever (“We need the passcodes”) where the dinos ignore the humans while they engage in a WWE-style “smackdown”. And LOCUSTS?! Really, who goes to a big dinosaur epic in hopes of seeing Corgi-sized grasshoppers…on fire (if only it were as campy and silly as the late show staple THE BEGINNING OF END with the much-missed Peter Graves). Of course re-introducing, these ancient behemoths to the planet would cause epic eco-damage, but aside from some highway encounters, they seem to be an inconvenience. After skipping the last installment Colin Trevorrow has returned to the director’s chair (oh, he was a writer on this, too), but his prior efforts don’t help to relieve the tedium as each character must engage in a heroic act for the admiration of their peers, while the CGI critters lumber in from the background to try and keep our attention. This is a movie “mess-terpiece” that should only satisfy the most diehard franchise fans eager to see “the band get back together”. It’s a shame the reunion is for the convoluted cinematic chaos of JURASSIC WORLD DOMINION. It’s pure prehistoric pablum.

One and a Half Out of Four

JURASSIC WORLD DOMINION is now playing in theatres everywhere

THE BAD GUYS (2022) – Review

THE BAD GUYS

As Spring slowly arrives (really, April snow), the multiplex makes way for a new family-friendly animated feature film (and contrary to what the Academy said, that medium can tackle the more mature subject matter, like FLEE). Now, this one’s got an interesting twist, a “spin” on a firmly established trope of the “cartoon conflict’. Well, it’s not a “skewed’ satiric fairy tale or fable but rather goes further back, before the features, to those “much-missed” theatrical shorts. Very often they dealt with a chase, usually a pursuit with a predator animal trying to capture its (not so defenseless) prey. In the world of Looney Tunes, Sylvester is after Tweety while the Coyote was always several steps behind that Roadrunner. But what about shifting the focus from the “heroes” to the “villains”, to a team of “nogoodniks” who somehow want to change? Or do they? Can they really “flip” their “nature” or must they remain THE BAD GUYS?


This “cartoon caper” begins with a casual diner conversation between the gang’s leader, Wolf (voice of Sam Rockwell), and his “second in command” and BFF Snake (Marc Maron). After exiting the “greasy spoon”, the duo begins a “bank heist’ with the help of the rest of the “crew”: computer-hacking whiz Tarantula (Awkwafina), master of disguise Shark (Craig Robinson), and the tiny but powerful Piranha (Anthony Ramos). After barely escaping capture by their arch-nemesis, Police Chief Luggins (Alex Borstein), the gang return to their secret lair and begin to plan their next “job”. A TV news report informs them that the valuable Golden Dolphin award for Samaritan of the Year will be presented to Professor Marmalade (Richard Ayoade) at a “fancy-schmancy” museum event. For Wolf, the “icing on the cake” is that the award will be given by newly elected Governor Foxington (Zazie Beetz). The gang complains that many criminals have failed to nab the Dolphin, but Wolf insists that this will be their greatest “score”. Of course, the plan doesn’t quite go smoothly, as Wolf helps a much-older matron who nearly trips down a staircase. He has an odd sensation, a twinge of euphoria inside sparked by doing good and causing his tail to wag. This helps lead to the gang’s capture, but security footage of Wolf’s selfless act inspires the Prof to plead for the gang, insisting that he can change their ways and do a better job of reforming them than any prison. Can the “bad guys” go good or is this just part of a bigger scheme? And what about that spark between Wolf and the Guv?

Dreamworks Animation theatrical features have been “hit and miss” of late, often releasing uninspired sequels (the last SPIRIT horse-flick was true horse…y’know) and tepid original ideas, but put this effort in the plus category. This may be due to the source material, a popular series of children’s books by Aaron Blabey, adapted with playful glee by screenwriters Etan Cohen and Yonni Brenner who have included several nods to the old “let’s steal something in the most intricate way possible” movies. The familiar setting of the first scene gives us a “head’s up’ as they recreate the eatery from the “bookends” of PULP FICTION. The other plus is the inspired direction of first-time feature director Pierre Perifel who balances the engaging character interchanges with action sequences that take a welcome satiric swing at the excesses of many blockbusters (consider this a “palette cleanser” to the insufferable AMBULANCE). Cameras swoop above and around the speeding vehicles before slowing down for us to appreciate a subtle visual “nugget”, then “revving up’ for some bit of F&F gravity-defying nonsense. Happily the flick also employs some really inspired, funny character designs, “filling-out” Blabey’s comic-strip imagery, while not going overboard on the “too busy” detailing of many CGI renderings, though I did enjoy the darkened lines about the eyes and lips which bring out the expressions. Now, this is a bit of a human/animal mix, unlike say ZOOTOPIA or the KUNG FU PANDA series, humans interact with the critters on the same level, much like Elmer Fudd and Bugs Bunny, so there’s the “fur-less folk” who are every bit as exaggerated but seem to owe much to the “anime” wide-eyed and “open-mouth” tropes we’re seeing more frequently, from LUCA to TURNING RED. Perhaps this is done to make the animals “stand out” a bit more, though I wish the Police Chief and her crew looked as appealing. What does work is the use of this terrific vocal cast led by Rockwell who is pure laid-back “Clooney cool” as Wolf while Maron conveys a different side to his wiseguy stand-up comic (and podcaster) persona as the irritable, curmudgeonly Snake (thinking his “bucket hat” is a nod to Carl Reiner in the OCEANS trilogy) . Oh,, and extra kudos to the artisans who have recreated the sun-drenched LA streets that are a backdrop to the frenetic mayhem. With so much to offer in the way of animated entertainment, audiences of any age should have fun spending a good 100 minutes with THE BAD GUYS.

3 out of 4

THE BAD GUYS opens in theaters everywhere on April 22, 2022

AMBULANCE – Review

So, from this film’s title, you’re thinking it’s a “fly on the wall” documentary with the filmmakers doing a “ride-along” with EMTs on a typical day, full of drama and danger, right? Or maybe it’s a docudrama following a young emergency worker going from their training and studies right up to the first week of their hospital assignment (with maybe a romance with another “lifesaver”). Well, I can give a big “nope” to both presumptions. Sure, the title vehicle is the main focus of this film, but it’s the kind of loud, noisy, frenetic action thriller that we usually get sometime in the Summer. And was a multiplex staple of the 90s. Well just coincidentally (well, maybe not) this flick is directed by the “unofficial kingpin” of those blockbusters from that era (hey, if Adrian Lynne can come back with a sexy murder mystery, then…). So clear the aisle in the theatre and make room for a very fast AMBULANCE.


But it doesn’t all begin with that “hospital-on-wheels”. After a nostalgic daydream-like sequence of two young boys at playtime, the story shifts to the present as former soldier Will Sharp (Yahya Abdul Mateen II) is in “phone hell” trying to get medical coverage for his ailing wife. He needs that aid since he’s “between jobs”. A frustrated Will tells his wife that he’s going to the job center after she tells him that brother Danny has called (followed by her plea to not return those calls). Meanwhile, EMT vet Cam Thompson (Eiza Gonzalez) responds to a gruesome car accident involving a pre-teen girl as her rookie driver tries not to faint. After a trip back to the hospital she tells him that her concerns end after those rescued leave the vehicle. Cut to Will who, naturally, shows up at the “car storage center’ run by brother Danny (Jake Gyllenhaal). Will begs for a loan to cover the quarter-million procedure to save his wife. Ah, but Danny has a way for him to earn that…and a whole lot more. As if his “auto service” wasn’t shady enough, turns out that he’s put together a crew to grab some in-transit cash that’s being held temporarily at a downtown LA bank. Oh, that “grab” will net them 32 million bucks. Will agrees and is riding with the gang minutes later. Of course, things go sideways immediately. Will accidentally shoots a young cop, the getaway vehicle is destroyed, and the two brothers are fleeing on foot. Wouldn’t you know that Cam and her driver pick up the wounded cop, and are then hijacked by Will and Danny (after knocking out the driver). Thus begins a harrowing chase through the town via highways and side streets as the police try to stop them without endangering their ‘fallen brother”. A grizzled police captain (Garrett Dillahunt) must work with a preppy FBI agent (Keir O’Donnell) who has a personal connection to Danny. Meanwhile, he’s hoping to get some help from a pal of his late gangster father, a vicious criminal kingpin named Papi (A Martinez). With all the ensuing carnage and destruction can Cam keep her patient alive while also struggling to survive the desperate duo?

Oh, Mr. Gyllenhaal, you should be more selective than this. To be fair he does imbue Danny with lots of energy, swinging from motor-mouthed snarky goofball to hair-trigger lunatic. But really, didn’t you learn anything from PRINCE OF PERSIA: SANDS OF TIME? Sure he’s believable as a whipsmart hustler, though his frenetic delivery just wears out its welcome. Mateen II is the calmer, more reflective counterpart, sort of “good thief/bad thief”, but he’s either tortured by guilt or straining to reign in Danny while matching his level of histrionics. Gonzalez breaks out of the “eye candy” mold as the often cynical healer who knows that she’s “in over her head’ trying to keep her “charge” alive, appealing to Wil’s “better angels”, and defusing Danny’s white-hot temper. She’s the anchor for the story’s many ludicrous missteps. An equally excellent supporting player, Dillahunt, has little to do but grumble and squint as the grizzled “hardcase-in-charge”. who must trade verbal barbs with the arrogant “fed” played by O’Donnell as a prickly alarmist whose pleas fall on deaf ears (or maybe it’s just the nonstop noise). Martinez attempts to inject some humanity into the sinister gang boss, but he’s reduced to a final act subplot.

You know you’re in trouble when the film’s director “name-checks” two of his previous films in the first 20 minutes. And that’s just what the aforementioned action flick impresario Michael Bay does. After finishing up five giant robot flicks, he’s back to trash loads of vehicles (makes THE BLUES BROTHERS look restrained) that can’t transform and speak. Well, their circuits might have overheated trying to process the clunky dialogue in the screenplay by Chris Fedak which adapts a 2005 Danish flick (no doubt much was lost in translation). The overworked Bay directorial touches are in overdrive here, almost to the point of parody. The big first reunion between the “brother’ has the camera in constant motion, spinning around the duo (pass the Dramamine). A few moments later, as the caper is put into motion, the millisecond editing begins its unending assault (I guess a shot can’t last more than two seconds). And now a new “toy” gets overused: the camera drone. Establishing shots must “loop the loop” before landing on the characters (more like cliches, really). The visual gymnastics are only briefly paused for a stilted scene in a therapist’s office involving a gay couple (now that’s some edgy comedy). It’s ham-fisted, heavy-handed, and just lazy (did I mention the infrared “body-heat” shots). The most jarring example may be from its final moments as we’re treated to another hazy silent “memory” of the brothers as boys playing “cowboy. Now there’s supposed to be, say 33 or 35, right? So were kids playing HIGH NOON in 1995, complete with a Sheriff costume that looks to be from the 1964 Sears catalog? That just adds to the irritation as this excruciating nonsense does its damage to our senses (think of a 137-minute pummeling to the head with a ball-peen hammer). After this endurance test (or torture) you might just wish your drive home from the multiplex was an AMBULANCE. Serenity…stat!!

1/2 Out of 4

AMBULANCE is now playing in theatres

MARRY ME – Review

(from left) Kat Valdez (Jennifer Lopez) and Charlie Gilbert (Owen Wilson) in Marry Me, directed by Kat Coiro.

So you didn’t think that I WANT YOU BACK would be the only “rom-com” feature dropping on this pre-Valentine’s Day weekend? Did you? I mean there’s got to be one to play the multiplexes since the other flick is only streaming (well, this one’s doing both actually), right? Oh, and this new release is the long-awaited return to the genre by the multi-talented (all manner of media, really) star that some have dubbed (heard it on one of the morning TV chat shows just the other day) “the patron saint of rom-coms”. Now don’t expect her to be a demure passive heroine this time out. Her demands and agenda pretty much boil down to two words: MARRY ME (Imagine the length of that queue, yeesh).

The lady with that simple request is worldwide pop sensation Kat Valdez (Jennifer Lopez). Her decades-long popularity has gotten a big “bump” recently with her very public romance with “up and coming ” crooner Bastian (Maluma). They’ve got a duet that’s at the top of the charts, “Marry Me”, and actually plan on tieing the knot at the conclusion of their joint concert spectacular (beamed around the globe, of course) at NYC’s Madison Square Garden. Miles away from the whirlwind of planning and “prep”, middle school math teacher and divorced dad Charlie Gilbert (Owen Wilson) is taking his pre-teen daughter Lou (Chloe Coleman) to school (he works there, she attends). Naturally, she wants to distance herself from him, upcoming her “coolness cred”. In between classes, guidance counselor and pal Parker Debbs (Sarah Silverman) tells Charlie that she now has two extra tickets to the sold-out Kat and Bastian concert (her ex-girlfriend and her new GF bailed). Charlie reluctantly agrees in order to impress Lou. But things don’t quite go as planned at the big multi-media event. Minutes before the nuptials, as Kat dons her sparkly wedding gown, Page Six drops a big scandal on their website, complete with a “hidden camera” video. A stunned and shocked Kat silences the orchestra and addresses the audience. As she scans the crowd she spots Charlie holding Lou’s makeshift poster board that says “Marry Me”. Kat beckons him to the stage. The wedding will go on, but with a new groom. Concerned about Kat’s state of mind, Charlie agrees and the two exchange “I do’s”. Backstage the pair, go their separate ways, with Kat’s flabbergasted manager Collin (John Bradley) insisting that he will have it all annulled within hours and monetarily compensate Charlie. But Kat’s got other ideas after a brief conversation with Charlie generates sparks. Could this impromptu gesture actually turn into something? But can their very different worlds mesh?

That “patron saint’ is Lopez of course, who seems to be taking somewhat of a career “backstep”, as this is her first feature since her lauded bravada turn three years ago as the “stripper pole queen” of HUSTLERS. At least Kat is a bit closer to her own ‘perceived’ persona, a “meta skewing’ of the publicity chaos that appears to surround her 24/7. Still, she brings a real change to the character as she emerges from the “bubble” and learns to “walk amongst the mortals” and truly connect. That main “mortal man” is the always charming Wilson who still has that affable everyman vibe (guessing if the flick was made 75 years ago, Jimmy Stewart would “aw shucks” he way with it). His Charlie bonds with everyone, especially his “math team”, but Wilson still gives him a wry attitude as he makes subtle digs at the “superstar” life. Rounding out this unlikely “love triangle” is Bastian played by Columbian heartthrob Maluma in his big feature film debut (though we can hear him in ENCANTO). He earns kudos for playing up all the “diva arrogance’ as he practically spits venom at Charlie as he tries to slither his way back to Kat. Also scoring is Ms. Coleman who is endearing as Charlie’s daughter trying to “find her own way” while still needing her daddy. The film is really packed with many of the best comic actors, but their “edges” are somewhat “smoothed” for this mass-audience entertainment. Stand-up star Michelle Buteau buzzes about as Kat’s viral-obsessed aide, while Utkarsh Ambudkar sneers and jeers as a rival math team coach. But the biggest “missed-op” is Silverman as Parker a “gender-switched” take on the rom-com cliche of the heroine’s ultra-supportive gay BFF or next-door neighbor. Her dangerous on-stage bawdy snark is neutered as the school staffer/ wannabe rep for Charlie. Perhaps she hopes to “expand the brand’, but her role here feels toothless. Oh well, at least there’s Jimmy Fallon bucking his “nice guy” image for a more surly prickly twist on his late-night TV gig.

The whole film hinges on the whole premise taken from some of the recent cable-TV “mating shows’ (with titles like “Married at First Sight”, “Love is Blind”, etc.). For most of us (well, me) the whole “plucking from the crowd” thing comes off as ludicrous in the extreme. Perhaps it worked better in the original graphic novel or webcomic (okay, a comic book) by Bobby Crosby which couldn’t quite gel in the screen adaptation by Harper Dill, John Rogers, and Tami Sanger. The concert finale is meant to be Kat’s on-stage meltdown, but her competent compassionate manager Collin (played warmly by Bradley) would’ve pulled the plug on it. We get a hint of the crazed paparazzi-fueled frenzy, but it’s more a mild annoyance. Director Kat Corio does her best with the material, but we can predict the relationship roadmap proceeding along the usual route to its inevitable destination. The leads are likable enough, but the whole thing feels too cloying and cutesy. If that weren’t enough we’re almost suffocated by the “synergy”. Scenes are built around different parts of the Universal media family. Aside from Fallon, NBC Today provides a constant “Greek chorus” along with Telemundo. Enough with the Tie-ins”!Perhaps this was intended as a 25th-anniversary reunion of the two stars (ANACONDA was way back in 1997), but only the most fervent rom-com fanatic will get anything from this wobbly wonky gender-spin on PRETTY WOMAN (with some NOTTING HILL tossed in). Better to stream those gems rather than endure the dreary by-the-numbers MARRY ME.

1 Out of 4

MARRY ME opens in theatres everywhere and streams exclusively on Peacock beginning on Friday, February 11, 2022

THE 355 – Review

(from left) Graciela (Penélope Cruz), Mason “Mace” (Jessica Chastain), Khadijah (Lupita Nyong’o) and Marie (Diane Kruger) in The 355, co-written and directed by Simon Kinberg.

So who’s ready to start 2022 with a bang? Or rather several bangs, lotsa’ chases, mixed-martial arts “throw-downs”, and more than a few teeth-rattling explosions? Well, this action extravaganza may be just the ticket, at least that’s what the studios and multiplexes are hoping for. Perhaps this’ll be the “franchise-starter” that will make up for the recent “franchise-enders” like the sputtering Matrix and Kingsmen, though the ‘web-spinner will keep swinging past more box office records. Oh, I neglected to mention that this flick’s action stars are all women. No, it’s not another reboot of CHARLIE”S ANGELS or a follow-up to OCEAN’S EIGHT. Yes see, they’re not private-eyes or con-artists. These ladies are secret agents who form an elite “rogue squad” known as THE 355.

This globetrotting adventure begins in the palatial estate of a drug kingpin in Colombia. Ah, it seems that he’s wanting to “diversify” as he sets up a “buy” with an arms supplier to international terrorists. So, what’s the weapon being offered up? A” mega-bomb” or a laser cannon, perhaps? Nope, for want of a better name, let’s call it the “Destructo-Driver Device”, an item the size of a cell phone that can hook into the internet and shut down cities, blow-up planes, and cripple national economies. Luckily some soldiers intervene before the “hand-off”, with one man, Luis (Edgar Ramirez), scooping the DDD up for himself. A bit later, the CIA learns of the DDD and brokers a “sale”. The “exchange” will be the next “super-secret” mission for top agents, and old pals, Mace (Jessica Chastain) and Nick (Sebastian Stan). Unfortunately, a rival German agent, Marie (Diane Kruger) botches the deal at a cafe in Paris. A jittery Luis brings in some “back-up” from his homeland which includes DNI agent/psychologist Graciela (Penelope Cruz). As Mace tries to “regroup” in the wake of a tragedy, she enlists an old friend and colleague, MI-6 computer whiz Khadija (Lupita Nyoong’o). When the DDD is grabbed during a “retrieval” of Luis, an uneasy alliance is formed. The female quartet track down the DDD to Morocco to stop that original arms dealer from finally acquiring it. But the women soon discover that they are trapped in a power plot with double and triple-crossers who will eliminate them and their loved ones with no hesitation in order to seize the “prize”.

Talk about your diverse, “planet-scanning” cast! Heading up this “multi-country” crew is the talented Chastain, who displays her considerable leadership skills and physical prowess. She’s confident in the big action “set pieces”, never just doing spy “cosplay”, giving her dialogue the same gravitas as any of her many somber dramatic roles. Mace is a pro, but we see the painful toll being collected with every groan and shudder. Kruger makes a formidable counterpart, and often reluctant cohort. This “hyper-focused” loner is the story’s “wild card”. Marie often pounces like a just uncaged beast, as Kruger’s wild-eyed glare tells all to “back off”.The inverse may be Nyong’o’s “Khad” who is almost a sister to Mace, sharing a warm bond and a dangerous past. But Nyong’o gives her a hesitancy and frustration at having to get “back in the game” again. She insists it is the “last round”, but her tired eyes tell us that she’s not optimistic. But still, Khad’s a calming influence on “Grizzy” the “office civilian” suddenly thrust into combat. Cruz conveys her confused panic as the bullets whiz past while she attempts to crawl inside her purse (perhaps burying her head in the sand). By the tale’s midpoint, she’s taking more of a stand, but Grizzy finally agrees to join the fight in order to protect her family. Oh, around that time the foursome adds a member with the cool, sinewy Bingbing Fan as Lin, the mysterious, enigmatic Chinese agent Lin. As for the “token males”, Stan balances charm and ferocity as the energetic Nick, another old pal of Mace, though he wants much more than shared missions with her. And Ramirez brings great intensity to the somewhat small role of Luis, the main catalyst for the whole race against the clock.

Surprisingly this thriller’s not based on an existing property, as it seems to fit with many similar comic book flicks. Perhaps it’s due to its director, Simon Kinberg, who has scripted many of those “tentpoles” and directed the most dismal entry of a big comics series, X-MEN; DARK PHOENIX. Plus he also produced this and co-wrote it with Theresa Rebeck and Bek Smith, which is the start of this new original flick’s many problems. While striving to be different with its unique casting, the screenplay somehow uses so many tired “undercover agent” cliches that I was literally calling out the twists and even bit of dialogue with great frequency. This might have been “fresh” and “edgy” 30 years ago, but ATOMIC BLONDE and last year’s BLACK WIDOW really shook up the genre while truly making us care about the ladies behind the lethal kicks and quips. Each “operative” is reduced to a tired trope that regurgitates the same spiel too often. Khad is, as Pete’s pal Ned calls himself, “the guy (or lady) in the chair “pounding a keyboard until the “we’re in” scene ender. But it’s not as tiresome as Grizzy’s mantra of “I must get back to my babies!” while trying to push away an offered weapon. There are so many things “wrong” that we must wonder if the script was rushed through. Is a phone call being traced, today (“keep her on the line”)? Then there’s the scene in Morocco with everyone but Mace in headscarves. And what’s her attire? It looks to be one of Victor Lazlo’s suits (with massive fedora) from CASABLANCA. And though the film wants to show how the women are as tough as their male counterparts, they still have to go “in disguise” at a swanky party, sporting tight, cleavage-baring gowns (of no use in combat). Yes, a group of actresses can headline a big loud bombastic popcorn flick. And it can be just as tiring and devoid of wit or logic as the fellas. Oh, they and we deserve much much better. The talented quintet will be back for better films, but this is hopefully the last mission for THE 355.

1/2 Out of 4

THE 355 is now playing in theatres everywhere

DEAR EVAN HANSEN – Review


(from left) Connor Murphy (Colton Ryan) and Evan Hansen (Ben Platt) in Dear Evan Hansen, directed by Stephen Chbosky.

And a week later we’re back in the messy, stress-filled, anxiety-inducing halls of high school in this new film. Oh, this has songs too, since it’s also based on a musical produced for the stage. But that may be where the similarities end (well, Daddy’s not running the house). EVERYBODY’S TALKING ABOUT JAIMIE is set in the UK, Sheffield specifically, with a lead character who’s fairly happy, though he yearns to follow his drag diva dreams. Across the pond, in the US in an unnamed sunny suburb (probably in the West, with mostly Atlanta, again, based-locations), this title character (he gets his full name, though) doesn’t really have such long-term goals. He’s just trying to “push on” while remaining essentially invisible to his classmates. Oh, and this tale tackles life and death issues, really. Plus it was a big Tony winner back in 2015. And all the songs and drama stem from a letter that opens with DEAR EVAN HANSEN.


Actually, those are the first words we see, on a computer monitor. Nervous, always anxious Evan (Ben Platt) is completing the daily assignment given to him (along with a prescription for lots of meds) by his therapist. It’s a letter to himself, a sort of written “pep talk’, pushing him to assert himself and strive for positivity. He’s interrupted by a phone call from mother Heidi (Julianne Moore) who has to work later at the hospital (she’s gotta pick up shifts since her hubby went AWOL years ago). Soon Evan arrives for the first day of his senior year of high school. He dashes to the gym where he helps run the audio system for the big “welcome assembly” alongside old “family friend”, the snarky Jared (Nik Dodani). As usual, Evan pines for the band’s cute guitarist, Zoe (Kaitlyn Dever). Unfortunately, Evan runs afoul of her sullen brother Conner (Colton Ryan) in the computer room. After writing his name in huuuge letters on Evan’s arm cast, Connor snatches up Evan’s daily letter from the single printer. Incensed at the mention of his sister in it, Connor storms off with the letter. Days later, Evan is called into the principal’s office where he meets Connor’s distraught parents, Cynthia (Amy Adams) and Larry (Danny Pino). It seems their son took his own life and the only note found was Evan’s stolen letter. Cynthia believes it was written by Connor and that he and Evan were “secret” BFFs. In an effort to give them some comfort, a flustered Evan lies. This lie leads to others as he and Jared compose more “fake” emails for a “fake” secret online account. Soon Evan is coming over to Cynthia’s home, mostly to be closer to Zoe. But things get more complicated when the very popular Alana (Amandla Sternberg) approaches Evan about raising funds for a suicide prevention program dubbed “The Connor Project”. When his speech goes viral, Evan finds himself drowning in a sea of deception. Can he stay adrift or will he be dragged down in the depths of (well-intentioned) deceit?

Reprising his Tony-winning role, Platt easily works past the media speculations about his “aging-out” of the seventeen-year-old (hey look at most teen TV dramas from a few decades ago) and is achingly believable as the awkward, twitchy Evan. His social awkwardness is expertly conveyed by Platt’s body language as he walks stiffly with shoulders haunched and arms never veeringly far from the torso. This also heightens his musical numbers as his confident singing makes up for his character’s stunted verbal skills. As his fib grows we see him start to blossom (thanks to Zoe, perhaps), occasionally lashing out (poor mum), but that “skittish mouse” is always there, especially when the “social walls” begin to close in. As Zoe, Dever projects a lot of the rebellious, but still accessible “cool kid” vibe as she delves into her complex family issues (at the dinner table she’s the unfiltered “voice of truth”). As for the main adults, Adams as Cynthia is vulnerable and somewhat fragile as she uses the “letter’ as a lifeline that will soften her grief, holding on to a fantasy of her son with her last bit of strength. Pino as Larry tries to be the “solid anchor’ for the floundering family, but he’s trying to push down his own feelings of anger at rage (over Connor, but mainly directed at himself). Though she’s absent (dashing through the hospital) for most of the tale’s midsection, Moore is strong but somewhat oblivious as the frazzled, but proud Heidi, who truly thinks her son has defeated his past demons (and Moore does well with her solo song). Sternberg is quite compelling as the high school “joiner” and organizer whose bright smile is her shield against her own insecurities as she and Evan bond over their mood-altering meds. Ryan, in a pivotal role with little screen time, ably handles the different “versions” of the volatile Connor, truly scary in hisreal encounter with Evan, and endearing as Cynthia’s “fantasy” of a sweet devoted pal. And luckily, Dodani generates some much-needed levity as the cynical Jared, taking the “p#*%s” out of his “bro” at nearly every turn.

The direction from Stephen Chobsky (best known for helming the movie of his YA novel THE PERKS OF BEING A WALLFLOWER) is very creative, exposing little of the material’s “stage roots’, while “opening up” the story and making it a bit more intimate, as the camera can focus in on the main characters. He eases the action into the musical numbers with few bombastic bits of flourish. Plus he makes great use of montages in order to bring us into the “viral world”, which is as important a setting as the school or Zoe’s opulent home (or Heidi’s modest two-bedroom tract house). Unlike the aforementioned JAIMIE, there’s not an abundance of flashy dance numbers (“Sincerely, Me”, a fantasy duet with Evan and Connor comes close), which aid in showcasing the clever songs by Justin Paul and Dan Romer (LA LA LAND). The screenplay from Steven Levenson (another Tony winner)aptly explores the social hierarchy of high school while also touching on economic class clashes (Evan likes the “swanky digs” at Zoe’s), though the third act (like many stage shows) feels a bit lacking in its denouncement, especially as Evan “faces the music” while trying to achieve a somewhat hopeful finale’.I kept harkening back to a much darker, though similar in subject teen comedy/drama from 2009, Bobcat Goldthwait’s WORLD’S GREATEST DAD, which is an underrated gem with a messier, but more compelling conclusion. The final moments aside, this is one of the better stage adaptations with soulful songs and a stellar cast giving the flick a real emotional punch. DEAR EVAN HANSEN delivers its heartfelt message both dramatically and musically, one that should resonate with all ages (and hopefully lead to some needed family discussions).

3 Out of 4

DEAR EVAN HANSEN opens in select theatres on Friday, September 24, 2021

CANDYMAN (2021) – Review

Michael Hargrove as Sherman Fields in Candyman, directed by Nia DaCosta.

Hey, is this the end of August and near the end of Summer), or is it October, around mid-Fall? Just wondering since this is the third weekend in a row with the release of a new horror flick to theatres. Hmm, maybe the studios are getting a bit of a “head start” in case our health situation goes ‘sideways” (as if that thought’s not scary enough). Last week’s release was an original idea, while the 8/13 premiere was a sequel to a flick from five years previous. Now the roots for this week’s big shocker go back nearly thirty years, but it’s not really a reboot, remake, or a “re-imagining”. The marketeers are dubbing this a “spiritual sequel” as it harkens back to that 1992 original and ignores its sequels (much as the 2018 HALLOWEEN only references the 1978 classic). And with the recent social injustice movements, today might just be primed for a return of the CANDYMAN. But only say the title once, just to be safe.

Hmmm, a chiller that begins with a puppet show? Oh yes, as paper-cut silhouettes, moved by sticks, play out the story of research student Helen Lyle’s fateful encounter with Cabrini Green’s (the notorious low-rent housing complex in the “Windy City”) avenging spirit, the Candyman. The murdered wraith from the late 1800s eviscerated lots of folks with his hook for a right hand when they repeated his name five times while staring into a reflective surface. After the “recap” (and a brief 1977 sequence at “the Green”), the story shifts to the modern-day as Troy (Nathan Stewart-Jarrett) and his new boyfriend attend a dinner party at the swanky Chicago apartment of his art gallery manager sister Brianna (Teyonah Parris) and her beau, up-and-coming fine artist Anthony (Yahya Abdul-Mateen II). Over drinks, Troy tells the tale of the Candyman as Brianna scoffs. However, Anthony is curious as the “urban legend” sparks his imagination (he’d gone “dry” preparing new pieces for a fast-approaching gallery showcase). Later he sneaks into the remaining row houses of Cabrini (The towers had been torn down to make space for the trendy gentrified neighborhood long ago) and runs into former resident Burke (Colman Domingo), who runs a nearby laundromat. He tells Anthony of his time there and of a different Candyman. But on his way home the artist is surprisingly stung by an errant bee. Anthony thinks nothing of the nasty welt as he hurriedly prepares his new pieces. He displays the mirrored door at the opening with a paper handout explaining it (basically challenging patrons to repeat “Candyman” five times). Of course, someone takes the dare, and…the local news is soon filled with reports of gruesome bloody killings. Has Anthony helped bring the hooked monster into the new century? Could the two be somehow connected? And why is that bee sting looking so gnarly?

The award-winning cast aids in adding to the film’s tension-filled dark “vibe”. Mateen, so good in the HBO “Watchmen” sequel, expertly balances the complex character shifts in Anthony. He shows us how the artist’s struggle for a defining work is swept away by his all-consuming need to know all about the “silly fairy tale”. And he’s not afraid to show the awful side of Anthony’s persona as too many drinks unleash his verbally abusive id (mostly directed at art rivals). We’re rooting for him, even as he changes mentally and physically while falling deeper into the supernatural “rabbit hole”. It’s a plunge that can’t be slowed by the love of Brianna, played with grit and “street smarts” by the engaging Parris (part of the superb “Wandavision”). She shows Brianna’s devotion to Anthony even as she tries in vain to halt his obsessions. Those are fueled by Burke played with a sinister zeal by Domingo (“Fear the Walking Dead”)., who seems horrified by his own past, but delighted to pass on the nightmares to Anthony. Kudos also to Stewart-Jarrett who’s having a great time as the catty Troy, and Rebecca Spence who happily spews venom as a castigating art critic (ain’t they the worst).

Director Nia DaCosta, fresh off the heart-breaking family drama LITTLE WOODS, proves her talents by entering the horror genre and mixing a familiar horror icon with the current social and political clime. Yet, the film feels a tad sluggish and very disjointed (I have expected to see the “scene missing” title card from GRINDHOUSE). The discoverer of a gory slaying is abruptly seen in bed (quite a narrative jump). Perhaps that can be traced to the screenplay DaCosta contributed to along with producer Jordan Peele and Win Rosenfeld (using the original characters from Clive Barker and Bernard Rose). Though I never saw the original I could pick up (after a bit of research) the notion that they were playing to the 1992 film’s rabid fans, even using actress Virginia Madsen’s vocal track (and a nice final VFX sequence), the twists are often predictable (another bullying scene in a deserted high school bathroom), and social norms and logic (beyond the usual “suspension of disbelief”) feel ignored (Brianna would certainly insist that Anthony see a doctor, as his bandages pop on and off). Some of the digs at the pretentious “modern art world” are nice, as is the use of those stick paper puppets (watch them during the end credits), but many horror fans will find that this re-visiting more sour than sweet as they consume the brightly re-packaged CANDYMAN. “Talk about your childhood wishes (and nightmares).”

2 Out of 4

CANDYMAN opens in theatres everywhere on August 27, 2021

NOBODY – Review

As most of the country enters full Spring break “status”, the studio wants to lure film fans back into the theatres with a genre that usually thrives in the warmer months, the “rock ’em, sock ’em”, ” hard” R-rated action flick. Ah, but something sets this one apart from the other “bone-crunchers” of the box office. Well, right off, from the poster and other marketing, we see it stars an actor being, to put it mildly, “cast against type” (no offense, but “The Rock”, he ain’t’). Oh, but the lead role is the vital ingredient in this new mix of thriller elements while tossing in tropes of other genres. From those comic book-inspired sagas, we get a “master of mayhem” who’s wrapped in the guise of an average joe. And, as with horror flicks, there’s lots of concern about whether his unleashed “inner beast” can be tamed once more. So basically, almost everyone initially dismisses him since, and he proclaims this to many other characters, he appears to be a real NOBODY.

The “non-entity” in the title refers to “mild-mannered” suburban husband and father “Hutch” Mansell (Bob Odenkirk). His days are pretty much routine. Hutch awakes at the same time, eats the same breakfast, always seems to just miss the garbage pick-up, then takes the bus to his nine-to-five job at a small-sized machinery shop (is it automotive, or heating equipment). After clocking out, it’s another ride home to his bored (a massive cushion between them at night in the bed they share) real estate sales agent wife Becca (Connie Nielsen), surly unimpressed teenage son Blake (Gage Munroe), and sweet, doting nine-year-old daughter Abby (Paisley Cadorath). And then, late one night, that routine is shattered. Hearing a noise, Hutch goes downstairs and stumbles upon a pair of black-clad, ski-masked home invaders. Unfortunately, they get the drop on him, but Hutch complies with their demands giving away his watch, wedding band, and a few bucks in the “petty cash” bowl. Ah, but son Blake springs into action, trying to tackle one of them as Hutch freezes. The teen is rewarded with a black eye as the duo escapes into the night. Of course, nearly everyone, co-workers, neighbors, even the police, inform Hitch that they would’ve “taken out” the crooks. But Hutch seems resigned to be the “wimp of the block” until daughter Abby tells him that her kitty-cat bracelet is gone. This flips on an inner switch, as Hutch switches gears into “revenge” mode. He pays a late-night visit to the retirement complex home of father David (Christopher Lloyd), opens a wall safe, and takes out a pistol along with a big wad of cash. Playing “detective”, he tracks the thieves down (in the scuffle Hutch saw a unique wrist tattoo), who don’t have the bracelet, but are in very “dire straights”. Hutch’s “code” will not allow him to punish them. However, a group of violent drunken thugs harassing a young woman on the bus ride back home? Well, they will certainly satisfy his “blood lust’. After emptying his gun of cartridges, he leaves them in a bloody, crumpled mess. But wouldn’t you know…one of those creeps he put in the hospital is related to the city’s most feared Russian gangster, the kingpin/ dance club-owner Yulian (Aleksey Serebryakov). When he does his own “sleuthing”, the entire Mansell family has a target on their backs. Can Hutch possibly protect them despite the return of these hidden skills from a past violent life? And does he have a “reset” button?

Of course, the subject of my earlier casting comments is Odenkirk, who displays another unforeseen “skill set’ in his talent roster. After establishing himself as a major comic talent as co-creator of the influential HBO gem “Mr. Show”, he continued in supporting roles in several other humorous movies and TV shows (he auditioned for the lead in “The Office”), until AMC-TV’s “Breaking Bad” spun-off his lawyer character for the acclaimed drama “Better Call Saul”. Yes, comedy and drama, but an action star? Fortunately Odenkirk sells it, giving the script an extra jolt with his “low-energy” everyman in the film’s opening sequences. When he peels away his timid outer shell, Odenkirk shows us that Hutch is re-vitalized as he returns to his former self. Luckily he still shows us that his love of family hasn’t been discarded, which injects an extra urgency to the story’s last act. Nielsen as wife Becca also seems to awaken from her slumber as she finds much more mystery in the man she’s been keeping at a distance so long. Lloyd is also terrific as another man wearing a “false front”, who’s happy that his boy has returned” while gleefully joining him and diving into the real chaos, after numbing himself with the phony carnage of “late show” TV Westerns. Serebryakov proves a worthy adversary as an unrestrained rabid dog whose ego will not let this little “worm” get the best of him (he inspires panic in both his enemies and allies). The great Michael Ironside (the “exploder” of SCANNERS) is the most understanding employer ever as Hutch’s long-time boss. Oh, and there’s a terrific final battle cameo role for a great music/action flick star (no spoilers from me) that helps the flick end on a high note.

The man behind HARDCORE HARRY, Ilya Naishuller directs the destruction with a deft, confident flair, shifting gears with ease from the drudgery of Hutch’s “comfy” lifestyle to the adrenaline-fueled set-pieces, in particular, the bus “beat-down”. For that he gets us inside Hutch’s head as he scopes in the enemy and the surroundings like a general hatching a battle strategy. Oh, but he’s not a super-human, as the somewhat-tipsy creeps inflect loads of damage to the “one man armada”. It helps that Odenkirk sells the pain of flexing little-used muscles. This tale combines themes from THE EQUALIZER, AMERICAN BEAUTY, and the JOHN WICK flicks (the script is from one of its creators Derek Kolstad) and produces a really original spin on the urban action genre. But at the midpoint, it veers a tad off course into a now-familiar staple with the current “go-to” baddies, the “made-men from Moscow”. I believe I literally sighed and said under my breathe “Russian mobsters, again” since I CARE A LOT was mere weeks ago. This leads to the finale that owes a bit too much to Denzel’s outing and the HOME ALONE flicks (really). Oh, but when it works in that first half, Odenkirk as the savage suburban Centurian is a sight of awesome bloody wonder. Thanks to him Hutch is most memorable and far from a NOBODY. Cross him and you’d better call Saul, right after 9-1-1.

3 Out of 4

NOBODY opens in select theatres everywhere beginning Friday, March 26, 2021