jennifer lopez – Page 2 – We Are Movie Geeks

Win Passes To The St. Louis Advance Screening Of SECOND ACT Starring Jennifer Lopez

Second Act is a comedy in the vein of Working Girl and Maid In Manhattan. Jennifer Lopez stars as Maya, a 40-year-old woman struggling with frustrations from unfulfilled dreams. Until, that is, she gets the chance to prove to Madison Avenue that street smarts are as valuable as book smarts, and that it is never too late for a Second Act.

In Theaters December 21, 2018

Enter for your chance to win two free passes to the St. Louis advance screening of SECOND ACT. The theatrical sneak preview will be on December 19 at 7pm.

Add you name and email in our comments section below.

NO PURCHASE REQUIRED. A pass does not guarantee a seat at a screening. Seating is on a first-come, first served basis. The theater is overbooked to assure a full house.

Visit the official site: https://www.secondact.movie/

Rated PG 13

WAMG Giveaway – Win the DVD of JENNIFER LOPEZ: DANCE AGAIN

JENNIFER LOPEZ: DANCE AGAIN is the docu-concert that takes fans behind the scenes of Lopez’s first world tour! It’s available now on DVD from Anchor Bay Entertainment.

JENNIFER LOPEZ: DANCE AGAIN offers an insight into one of the most famous entertainers in the world, combining high-energy musical performances with a raw and candid look at Lopez’s personal and professional life over a defining six-month period. Special behind-the-scenes moments capture the challenge of going on her first world tour with her two young children, parents and closest friends in tow, beginning in South America and ending in Puerto Rico, where she held her first concert 11 years earlier.

JENNIFER LOPEZ: DANCE AGAIN combines riveting musical performances with a raw and candid look at Lopez’s personal and professional life over a defining six-month period, when she challenges herself to go on tour with her two young children in tow. Featuring intimate documentary footage and interviews with Lopez and her closest friends, as well as spectacular in-concert renditions of many of her biggest hits, the docu-concert goes behind the scenes of the superstar’s first world tour, which visits 65 cities and five continents, traveling 100,000 miles and reaching one million fans, producing 11,250 minutes of music, and requiring 500,000 sequins and 162 wardrobe changes.

Now You can win the JENNIFER LOPEZ: DANCE AGAIN DVD. We Are Movie Geeks has two copies to give away. All you have to do is leave a message below and answer this question: What is your favorite movie that J-Lo has acted in? (Mine is OUT OF SIGHT!) It’s so easy! Good Luck!

OFFICIAL RULES:

1. YOU MUST BE A US RESIDENT. PRIZE WILL ONLY BE SHIPPED TO US ADDRESSES. NO P.O. BOXES. NO DUPLICATE ADDRESSES.

2. WINNERS WILL BE CHOSEN FROM ALL QUALIFYING ENTRIES.

No purchase necessary

Catch The New Trailer And Poster For ICE AGE: COLLISION COURSE

Blue Sky Studios and 20th Century Fox have released a new poster for ICE AGE: COLLISION COURSE. Check out the latest awesome trailer for this epic adventure below.

Scrat’s epic pursuit of the elusive acorn catapults him into the universe where he accidentally sets off a series of cosmic events that transform and threaten the Ice Age World.

To save themselves, Sid, Manny, Diego, and the rest of the herd must leave their home and embark on a quest full of comedy and journey, traveling to exotic new lands and encountering a host of colorful new characters.

ICE AGE: COLLISION COURSE, opening in theaters everywhere July 22, 2016, stars returning cast members Ray Romano, Denis Leary, John Leguizamo, Queen Latifah, Seann William Scott, Josh Peck, Simon Pegg, Keke Palmer, Wanda Sykes, and Jennifer Lopez. Joining the herd are Stephanie Beatriz, Adam DeVine, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Max Greenfield, Jessie J, Nick Offerman, Melissa Rauch, Michael Strahan and Neil deGrasse Tyson.

Visit the official site here: www.iceagemovies.com

First Trailer For ICE AGE: COLLISION COURSE Debuts

Check out the trailer for Blue Sky Studios and 20th Century Fox’s ICE AGE: COLLISION COURSE.

Returning cast members include Ray Romano, Denis Leary, John Leguizamo, Queen Latifah, Seann William Scott, Josh Peck, Simon Pegg, Keke Palmer, Wanda Sykes, and Jennifer Lopez and new cast members feature Stephanie Beatriz, Adam DeVine, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Max Greenfield, Jessie J, Nick Offerman, Melissa Rauch, Michael Strahan and Neil deGrasse Tyson.

Scrat’s epic pursuit of the elusive acorn catapults him into the universe where he accidentally sets off a series of cosmic events that transform and threaten the Ice Age World. To save themselves, Sid, Manny, Diego, and the rest of the herd must leave their home and embark on a quest full of comedy and adventure, traveling to exotic new lands and encountering a host of colorful new characters.

The animated comedy is directed by Mike Thurmeier.

ICE AGE: COLLISION COURSE opens in theaters everywhere July 22, 2016.

Visit the official site: www.iceagemovies.com

Viola Davis And Jennifer Lopez Star In Powerful Trailer For LILA AND EVE

Samuel Goldwyn Films has released this first trailer for LILA AND EVE – directed by Charles Stone III (DRUMLINE)

A tense and exciting film, the movie tells the story of Lila (Academy Award Nominee Viola Davis), a grief-stricken mother who in the aftermath of her son’s murder in a drive-by shooting attends a support group where she meets Eve (Jennifer Lopez), who has lost her daughter.

When Lila hits numerous roadblocks from the police in bringing justice for her son’s slaying, Eve urges Lila to take matters into her own hands to track down her son’s killers.

The two women soon embark on a violent pursuit of justice, as they work to the top of the chain of drug dealers to avenge the murder of Lila’s son.

Viola Davis is filming David Ayer’s hugely anticipated SUICIDE SQUAD while Jennifer Lopez’s motion picture and television production company, Nuyorican Productions, begins production on a series for NBC titled Shades of Blue, in which Lopez will also star.

A bold and provocative take on the morals of American society, LILA AND EVE will open in theaters and on demand on July 17, 2015.

http://www.lilaandevemovie.com/

Viola Davis and director Charles Stone III on the set of LILA AND EVE.

Photo Credit: Bob Mahoney / Samuel Goldwyn Films

Win A Copy Of Jennifer Lopez’s THE BOY NEXT DOOR – On Blu-Ray April 28

AVAILABLE ON DIGITAL HD APRIL 14^TH AND ON BLU-RAY™ & DVD APRIL 28^TH

A momentary lapse of judgment leads to a dangerous obsession in the provocative thriller The Box Next Door starring Jennifer Lopez (Maid in Manhattan, Monster-in-Law, The Wedding Planner). Available on Digital HD on April 14 and on Blu-ray^™ Combo Pack, DVD and On Demand on April 28, The Boy Next Door takes audiences behind the scenes with exclusive bonus content including deleted scenes, a filmmaker commentary and more.

Lopez stars as Claire Peterson, a high-school literature teacher struggling to get back in the dating game after separating from her cheating husband while raising her adolescent son. When handsome and charismatic 19-year-old Noah (Ryan Guzman, Step Up series, “Pretty Little Liars”) moves in next door, Claire has a moment of weakness that leads to an intimate night together. Noah’s attraction quickly turns into a violent obsession, threatening to tear apart Claire’s world and endanger the people she loves. Kristin Chenoweth (The West Wing, Deck the Halls), John Corbett (Sex and the City, My Big Fat Greek Wedding) and Ian Nelson (Teen Wolf, The Hunger Games) co-star.

WAMG is giving away copies of the film to celebrate the film’s Blu-ray/DVD release.

ENTER YOUR NAME AND E-MAIL IN OUR COMMENTS SECTION BELOW. WE WILL CONTACT YOU IF YOU ARE A WINNER.

OFFICIAL RULES:

1. YOU MUST BE A US RESIDENT. PRIZE WILL ONLY BE SHIPPED TO US ADDRESSES. NO P.O. BOXES. NO DUPLICATE ADDRESSES.

2. WINNERS WILL BE CHOSEN FROM ALL QUALIFYING ENTRIES.

No purchase necessary.

Pre-order now: http://www.amazon.com/Next-Door-Blu-ray-DIGITAL-UltraViolet/dp/B00SS96CRK/ref=sr_1_1_twi_1_blu?s=movies-tv&ie=UTF8&qid=1429054942&sr=1-1&keywords=the+boy+next+door

The Blu-ray™ Combo Pack includes a Blu-ray™, DVD and DIGITAL HD with UltraViolet™.

•Blu-ray™ unleashes the power of your HDTV and is the best way to watch movies at home, featuring 6X the picture resolution of DVD, exclusive extras and theater-quality surround sound.
•DVD offers the flexibility and convenience of playing movies in more places, both at home and away.
•DIGITAL HD with UltraViolet™ lets fans watch movies anywhere on their favorite devices. Users can instantly stream or download.

Bonus Features Exclusive to Blu-ray™ and DVD combo pack:
•Deleted Scenes
•The Making of The Boy Next Door
•Feature Commentary with Director Rob Cohen

TECHNICAL INFORMATION – Blu-ray™:
Street Date: April 28, 2015
Copyright: 2015 Universal Studios. All Rights Reserved.
Selection Numbers: 61132207 (US) /61142618 (CDN)
Running Time: 1 hour 31 minutes
Layers: BD-50
Aspect Ratio: Widescreen 2:40:1
Rating: R for violence, sexual content/nudity and language
Technical Info: English DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1/DVS Dolby Digital 2.02, Spanish and French
DTS Digital Surround 5.1
Subtitles: English SDH, Spanish and French subtitles

TECHNICAL INFORMATION – DVD:
Street Date: April 28, 2015
Copyright: 2015 Universal Studios. All Rights Reserved.
Selection Numbers: 61132206 (US) / 61142620 (CDN)
Running Time: 1 hour 31 minutes
Layers: Dual Layer
Aspect Ratio: 2:40:1
Rating: R for violence, sexual content/nudity and language
Technical Info: Dolby Digital 5.1/DVS DD 2.02, Spanish and French Dolby Digital 5.1
Subtitles: English SDH, Spanish and French subtitles

THE BOY NEXT DOOR – The Blu Review

“Oh my God, He’s threatened my life, my son, my job!”

The unusually stupid THE BOY NEXT DOOR was a ‘bunnyboiler’, a FATAL ATTRACTION-inspired thriller that taught a valuable lesson about the dangers of hooking up with nutjobs. Jennifer Lopez played Claire Peterson, a 40-ish teacher living with her 16-year old son Kevin (Ian Nelson) after kicking out her cheating husband (John Corbett). Her foray back to the dating scene is a disaster so she soon turns her attentions to Noah (Ryan Guzman) a hunky 19-year old who has moved in with his ailing Grandpa next door (and whose biceps are introduced before he his). At first Noah is a perfect gentleman. He repairs her garage door, replaces her alternator, and helps Kevin, who’s being bullied at school, gain the confidence to ask out the cutie that works at the local hardware store. After pie and flirting and cookies, Claire and Noah finally knock boots one night while Kevin is away with dad. Claire immediately regrets the encounter but Noah won’t take no for an answer so spends the rest of the film upending Claire’s life in increasingly violent ways.

THE BOY NEXT DOOR started out mediocre, spiraled downward, and thudded with an utterly incompetent conclusion. It was saddled with one of the more improbable and laughably absurd scripts to come down the pike in a long while, insulting the audience’s intelligence at every possible opportunity. Since she teaches English (“The Classics”), Noah charms her by quoting the Iliad and gifting her with a ‘first edition’ copy of the book (published in 700b.c – “found it for a buck at a garage sale”). Noah looks like a ripped Calvin Klein model with a nice house to himself (Grandpa’s in the hospital) so you’d think he’d have a revolving door of willing babes, but the script never presents a speck of motivation for his singular J-Lo booty fixation. A naked young blonde pops up in his room to administer a Lewinsky in one scene, but even that seems to be for the benefit of Claire, who continues to gaze out her window at him. My favorite is when Claire sneaks into Noah’s house to retrieve their sex tape that he stealthily filmed, knowing she has just five minutes before he returns. In that time she not only discovers his concealed camera, but a twisted shrine to her and his sinister computer files which expose his guilt in the killing of his parents and the attempted murder of her ex. Good work! Movies should be fun, and this one is in an unintended way, but the source of entertainment shouldn’t only come from identifying plot holes and other assorted implausibilities. This was an irredeemably bad movie.

A film as inept as THE BOY NEXT DOOR should at least have more camp value, but I couldn’t work up much enthusiasm for the scene in which Noah papers Claire’s classroom with (non-explicit) photos taken of the pair banging, which she frantically has to tear down before her students arrive. Nor was I moved by the barn-burning finale, in which the audience applauded when Claire jabs Noah in the eye with her son’s EpiPen (never seen that before!). Every plot twist, and device is seen coming from a mile away, and every character is paper thin, including the supporting ones which are there simply to pose as obstacles or victims, especially poor Kristin Chenoweth as Claire’s sassy but doomed BFF.

Director Rob Cohen (who made the equally retarded ALEX CROSS), from a script by Barbara Curry, seemed determined to force this material into the moldy mold of horror formulas. For the movie to be anything more than a mechanical stalkathon, we needed to experience Noah as an ambiguous figure —a kind of male equivalent of the Glenn Close character in FATAL ATTRACTION; a quasi-sympathetic monster whose dementia is really a twisted form of emotional pain. But we were never allowed to see Claire through his eyes as this movie wasn’t interested in much else besides paranoia and cheap thrills. With her perfect hair, designer clothes, and distracting lip gloss, Lopez is miscast as a suburban teacher/mom (though she does wear glasses while teaching “The Classics”, which helps). The 46-year old actress looks 30, while Guzman, a 27-year old actor playing the 19-year old title character, looks his age, therefore the single sex scene between them hardly looked like a cougar seducing a youngster but simply like two attractive people more or less the same age makin’ bacon.

The good news is that the pic’s running time of 92 minutes was mercifully brief, and a fine showcase for J-Lo’s glamour and Ryan Guzman’s washboard abs. THE BOY NEXT DOOR was slickly paced but forgettable, junky, retread crap, but it was still miles better than 50 SHADES OF GRAY.

THE BOY NEXT DOOR will be released on Blu-ray from Universal April 28^th and We Are Movie Geeks has had a peek:

THE BOY NEXT DOOR’s MPEG-4 AVC Coded, 1080p res at 2.40:1 high definition presentation offers a consistent, stable image. It’s not one that reveals brilliant colors and complex details, however. The film is fairly dark and heavily stylized throughout, and with that darkness comes a slight flatness, a light dreariness, and frequent pastiness. Nevertheless, the image enjoys a fine general crispness and definition on clothes and faces. Universal’s Blu-ray appears to replicate the intended look well enough; just don’t expect a dazzling and bright eye-popping transfer.

THE BOY NEXT DOOR arrives on Blu-ray with an energetic DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 soundtrack. The track plays with a full, robust surround support and finely spaced front end elements. Clarity is always top-notch, whether musical or dialog.

Universal offers up a decent amount of extras for their THE BOY NEXT DOOR Blu-ray:

Audio Commentary: Director Rob Cohen defends his work for 90 minutes, talking at length about the budget limitations and working with Ms Lopez. A good, passionate commentary for a bad film.
The Making of The Boy Next Door – runs 9 minutes and is an undistinguished featurette that hastily covers the film’s themes and story, with an emphasis on the car chase and barn-burning finale.
Deleted Scenes Vicky Wants Claire to Help (2:01), Noah Runs Into Claire (3:02), Garrett Asks Claire Out on a Date (1:53), Claire Asks Vicky For a Favor (1:47), and Claire is Angry at Vicky (0:53).

HOME – The Review

Hop aboard the cinema saucer, ’cause it’s time for another animated alien adventure. Let’s see, the last big cartoon with a human and space creature teamed-up to find home may have been LILO & STITCH (or, perhaps it was the first big feature with that theme), so we’re probably due for another spin around the galaxy. And the whole “Earthers are odd”, gags have become a comedy staple, mostly on TV with Uncle Martin, Mork, Alf, and the “3rd Rock” gang. And there’s the whole STARMAN/ET movie legacy. Yes, this is a mix of comedy and a dash of drama, but the real drama may be behind the scenes with this film’s producer, DreamWorks Animation. After a couple of sequels and a TV adaptation, this is their first original feature work in two years (though it is based on a children’s’ book, “The True Meaning of Smekday” by Adam Rex). Plus, the last year has been a rough one for them with big management changes and even bigger staff lay-offs with the slashing of much of their future feature slate. In other words, the main rival to Disney/Pixar needs a big hit. Will they find one with this unlikely friendship behind the wheel, cruising the planet in search of HOME?

The film’s opening moments give us the 411 on the nomadic alien race called the Boov. Nomadic because they’re experts at fleeing and hiding, re-locating to different planets in order to avoid their arch-enemies, the brutal warriors of the Gorg. Well, the leader of the Boov, Captain Smek (voice of Steve Martin) has decided that Earth will be their new hide-out. So what happens to the current inhabitants? Huge globes glide down to the planet, scoop up all the humans, and re-locates them in deserted areas. Now the Boov provide them (us) with new homes (looking like the neighborhood from TV’s “Full House”) alongside big amusement centers/parks. The excited Boovs move into the now empty spaces, none more excited than the endearingly goofy Oh (Jim Parsons). Once settled in, he decides to throw a big housewarming party and sends out an email “e-vite”. But the doofus hits the “send all” button which will send the message into space and alert the Gorg. When Smek can’t block it (Oh has a password that is not “password”, horrors!), he sends his agents to capture Oh. Luckily, Oh runs into the last human in the city (she avoided the big vacum-scoopers), a young girl named ‘Tip’ (Rihanna) and her pet cat, ‘Pig’. The two hop in her lil’ red compact car and hit the road, evading the Boov while trying to re-unite Tip with her displaced mom Lucy (Jennifer Lopez). Can they find her before Smek’s men and the Gorg catch up with them?

Parsons leads the voice cast, but ultimately his “Oh” is just his TV “Big Bang” character “Sheldon” dotted with lots of fractured grammar (“We is going to the Paris?’). Rihanna makes for a convincing teenager, but there ‘s no real reason (besides her impressive fan base) for Tip to have a pop star’s voice. The same could be said of her mother, but she doesn’t have a lot of screen time (but the producers are selling this as a Lopez flick). Martin may be the only one who sounds like he’s having a great time, bringing lots of energy to the dim, pompous Smek. Besides Tip and Lucy, the other humans seemed to have been beamed over from other recent DreamWorks movies. The design of the Boov is pleasing, as if Playdough melded with a mood ring (they change color to match their emotions), but also feels familiar. The backgrounds are colorful with excellent panoramic space shots. Unfortunately it feels as though we’re stuck in the front seat of that car forever (cue the kids’ “Are we there, yet?”), making it seem twice its 94 minute running time. Besides Smek’s gesturing with his staff which holds the “shush” stone, the 3D effects are pretty pedestrian as is the soundtrack with one bland, indistinguishable pop ballad flowing into the next. After the fantastic HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON and KUNG FU PANDA flicks, it feels like DreamWorks it just marking time until the next installments of those franchises (it looks like much of this farmed out overseas) . This isn’t the dregs of the studio (SHARK TALE, you need not worry), but it’s not the kind of work that’s going to turn things around. It may be a good sitter for the very wee viewers on a rainy day, but animation aficionados deserve so much more (and with DRAGON, these folks really delivered). Perhaps this is a tale better suited to the home video market. Maybe HOME will play best at home, but it’s not worth the multiplex trek.

2.5 Out of 5

Eddie Murphy Announced As Presenter At 87th Oscars

Eddie Murphy, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Chris Evans, Dakota Johnson, Jennifer Lopez, Chloë Grace Moretz, and Margot Robbie will be presenters at this year’s Oscars, show producers Craig Zadan and Neil Meron announced on Thursday. The Oscars, hosted by Neil Patrick Harris, will air on Sunday, February 22, live on ABC.

Murphy received an Oscar nomination for his supporting role in the 2006 film “Dreamgirls.” He has starred in such features as “Bowfinger” (1999), “The Nutty Professor” (1996), “Coming to America” (1988), “Beverly Hills Cop” (1984) and “48 Hrs.” (1982), and has lent his voice talents to all four of the “Shrek” animated features to date. He will next be seen in the independent drama “Cook.”

Ejiofor received his first Oscar nomination last year for his lead performance in “12 Years a Slave.” He previously appeared in such features as “Salt” (2010), “American Gangster” (2007), “Children of Men” (2006) and “Dirty Pretty Things” (2003). His upcoming films include “Z for Zachariah” and “Triple Nine.”

Evans made his directorial debut in Toronto this year with “Before We Go.” He starred in 2014’s “Captain America: The Winter Soldier,” reprising the role of the patriotic superhero he played in “Captain America: The First Avenger” (2011) and “Marvel’s The Avengers” (2012). His other film credits include “Snowpiercer” (2014), “Puncture” (2011), “Sunshine” (2007) and “Fantastic Four” (2005). He will appear next in “Avengers: Age of Ultron.”

Johnson will star in “Fifty Shades of Grey,” which opens this month. She’s appeared in such hits as “The Five-Year Engagement,” “21 Jump Street” and “The Social Network.” Johnson will next be seen in the upcoming films “A Bigger Splash” and “Black Mass.”

Lopez can currently be seen in the thriller “The Boy Next Door.” Her other feature credits include “An Unfinished Life” (2005), “Monster in Law” (2005), “The Wedding Planner” (2001) and “Out of Sight” (1998). She stars opposite Viola Davis in “Lila & Eve,” which premiered last month at the Sundance Film Festival and she will voice ‘Lucy’ in the upcoming animated film “Home.”

Moretz most recently starred in “Dark Shadows” (2012), “The Equalizer” (2014) and “If I Stay” (2014). She previously appeared in such features as “Carrie” (2013), “Hugo” (2011), “Kick-Ass” (2010) and “Let Me In” (2010). She will next appear in “The Fifth Wave.”

Robbie is best known for her breakout role in “The Wolf of Wall Street” (2013) and can next be seen starring in Warner Bros’ “Focus.” She is currently in production on Paramount’s “Untitled Tina Fey Project.” Her upcoming films include “Z for Zachariah,” “Tarzan” and “Suicide Squad.”

The 87th Oscars will be held on Sunday, February 22, 2015, at the Dolby Theatre at Hollywood & Highland Center in Hollywood, and will be televised live on the ABC Television Network at 7 p.m. ET/4 p.m. PT. The Oscars, produced by Zadan and Meron, also will be televised live in more than 225 countries and territories worldwide.

Visit oscars.org

Follow the Academy on Twitter: https://twitter.com/theacademy

Follow the Academy on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheAcademy

THE BOY NEXT DOOR – The Review

The unusually stupid THE BOY NEXT DOOR is a ‘bunnyboiler’, a FATAL ATTRACTION-inspired thriller that teaches a valuable lesson about the dangers of hooking up with nutjobs. Jennifer Lopez plays Claire Peterson, a 40-ish teacher living with her 16-year old son Kevin (Ian Nelson) after kicking out her cheating husband (John Corbett). Her foray back to the dating scene is a disaster so she soon turns her attentions to Noah (Ryan Guzman) a hunky 19-year old who has moved in with his ailing Grandpa next door (and whose biceps are introduced before he his). At first Noah is a perfect gentleman. He repairs her garage door, replaces her alternator, and helps Kevin, who’s being bullied at school, gain the confidence to ask out the cutie that works at the local hardware store. After pie and flirting and cookies, Claire and Noah finally knock boots one night while Kevin is away with dad. Claire immediately regrets the encounter but Noah won’t take no for an answer so spends the rest of the film upending Claire’s life in increasingly violent ways.

THE BOY NEXT DOOR starts out mediocre, spirals downward, and thuds with an utterly incompetent conclusion. It’s saddled with one of the more improbable and laughably absurd scripts to come down the pike in a long while, insulting the audience’s intelligence at every possible opportunity. Since she teaches English (“The Classics”), Noah charms her by quoting the Iliad and gifting her with a ‘first edition’ of the book (published in 700b.c – “found it for a buck at a garage sale”). Noah looks like a ripped Calvin Klein model with a nice house to himself (Grandpa’s in the hospital) so you’d think he’d have a revolving door of willing babes, but the script never presents a speck of motivation for his singular J-Lo booty fixation. A naked young blonde pops up in his room to administer a Lewinsky in one scene, but even that seems to be for the benefit of Claire, who continues to gaze out her window at him. My favorite is when Claire sneaks into Noah’s house to retrieve their sex tape that he stealthily filmed, knowing she has just five minutes before he returns. In that time she not only discovers his concealed camera, but a twisted shrine to her and his sinister computer files which expose his guilt in the killing of his parents and the attempted murder of her ex. Good work! Movies should be fun, and this one is in an unintended way, but the source of entertainment shouldn’t only come from identifying plot holes and other assorted implausibilities. This is an irredeemably bad movie.

A film as inept as THE BOY NEXT DOOR should at least have more camp value, but I couldn’t work up much enthusiasm for the scene in which Noah papers Claire’s classroom with (non-explicit) photos taken of the pair banging, which she frantically has to tear down before her students arrive. Nor was I moved by the barn-burning finale, in which the audience applauded when Claire jabs Noah in the eye with her son’s EpiPen (never seen that before!). Every plot twist and device is seen coming from a mile away, and every character is paper thin, including the supporting ones which are there simply to pose as obstacles or victims, especially poor Kristin Chenoweth as Claire’s sassy but doomed pal.

Director Rob Cohen (who made the equally terrible ALEX CROSS), from a script by Barbara Curry, seems determined to force this material into the moldy mold of horror formulas. For the movie to be anything more than a mechanical stalkathon, we need to experience Noah as an ambiguous figure —a kind of male equivalent of the Glenn Close character in FATAL ATTRACTION; a quasi-sympathetic monster whose dementia is really a twisted form of emotional pain. But we’re never allowed to see Claire through his eyes as this movie isn’t interested in much else besides paranoia and cheap thrills. With her perfect hair, designer clothes, and distracting lip gloss, Lopez is miscast as a suburban teacher/mom (though she does wear glasses while teaching “The Classics”, which helps). The 46-year old actress looks 30, while Guzman, a 27-year old actor playing the 19-year old title character, looks his age, therefore the single sex scene between them hardly looks like a cougar seducing a youngster but simply like two attractive people more or less the same age makin’ bacon.

The good news is that the pic’s running time of 92 minutes is mercifully brief, and it’s a fine showcase for J-Lo’s glamour and Ryan Guzman’s washboard abs. THE BOY NEXT DOOR is slickly paced but forgettable, junky, retread crap. Not recommended at all.

1 of 5 Stars

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