Review – Page 65 – We Are Movie Geeks

UNCHARTED (2022)- Review

Victor “Sully” Sullivan (Mark Wahlberg) and Nathan Drake (Tom Holland) look to make their move in Columbia Pictures’ UNCHARTED. photo by: Clay Enos

So getting those winter blues, stuck inside for days due to the weather (and lingering travel restrictions) making you a bit stir crazy? The perfect “cure” might be a virtual “vacay”, namely a globe-spanning adventure starring two actors representing the “next-gen” of action heroes. Hey, one of them is still dominating the box office (and probably playing in the auditorium next door or down the hall). But this is no mere travelogue “romp”. It’s an adaptation (and a hoped-for new franchise). Another comic book, maybe a novel, or perhaps a classic TV show? Get with it Gramps’, this is a computer game that hopes to make as big a splash as Sonic did two years ago. Rather than a CGI speedy critter, here’s the tale of a team who’ll face any danger in their quest for gold and glory hidden in territories still UNCHARTED.

Much like another beloved action franchise, this movie’s opening sequence has the intrepid Nate Drake (Tom Holland) in seemingly unescapable peril until…a flashback. We then meet him as a teen when he and his older brother Sam try to raid a museum in the dead of night. Try is the operative word as the two are hauled back to the orphanage. Before Sami s sent off to “juvie’ he promises Nate that he’ll keep in touch, then disappears into the night. A dozen or so years later adult Nate is mixing cocktails and tossing off historical explorer nuggets as he relieves spoiled “trust funders” of their trinkets and cash. But somebody’s on to his “game”: worldly “collector” Victor “Sully” Sullivan (Mark Wallberg). He approaches Nate and tries to recruit him into his plot to grab to golden jeweled crosses that would unlock the lost treasure of Magellan. Nate’s not onboard till Sully reveals that he worked with Sam. Actually, they just need the cross that’s part of a big “high-end” auction nearby (Sully insists he’s got the other one). The duo sneaks into the swanky event and are immediately spotted by the slinky Braddock (Tati Gabrielle), Sully’s rival and a ruthless retriever for multi-billionaire Santiago (Antonio Banderas) who believes the treasure is part of his family legacy. After the auction ends in chaos Sully and Nate are on the run, first to meet up with a shady operative in Barcelona, Chloe (Sophia Ali), leading to an all-out showdown on a Pacific island. Can the lowly trio get to the loot before Santiago and Braddock’s army scoops it up?

Aside from its gaming roots, this film’s biggest ‘draw” may be Holland, fresh off of last year’s biggest box office hit (now the third biggest domestic B.O. of all time). Here he brings the same infectious energy and boyish charm as Peter P., but offset with a devious, rascally grin as he breezes off with “ill-gotten booty”. That’s tempered with his sense of loss and longing to reunite with his mentor, older sibling. Part of that role is taken up by Wahlberg whose Sully oozes with layback cool mixed with lots of snark, as he tries to suppress a grin as Nate reminds him of his early blunders. Both actors can pull off the dapper and the dirty inherent in their roles. Always looking suave is Banderas who now seems to be the “go-to” guy for the sinister international mastermind (much as he did last year in THE HITMAN’S WIFE’S BODYGUARD). Well, at least he’s not stroking a cat as he reveals his nefarious schemes. One of those listening in would be Gabrielle who makes Braddock both sinister and sexy, an exotic dangerous beauty who will “kiss you deadly” without a moment’s hesitation. On the flip side, there’s Ali as Chloe who has tart chemistry with Nate, though she can’t quite be fully trusted since her past with Sully has made her much wiser…and wiley.

The action sequences are strung together with a manic pace by director Ruben Fleischer, who has jettisoned the subversive satire of his ZOMBIELAND films for gravity-defying (and physics-ignoring) set pieces to keep kids glued to their seats. Unfortunately, these CGI-enhanced stunt exercises are exhausting and eventually monotonous as the film tries to “top” itself and forgo more character development to keep moving to the next exotic locale. Plus the three (!) screenwriters should know better than to namedrop Indiana Jones and Jack Sparrow which reminds the audience of much-better adventure extravaganzas. Holland’s tossed around here as much as the wallcrawler, but he, like most of the characters, may just be made of pixels as they bounce back quicker than the Looney Tunes troupe. At least Indy had some “mileage” as Nate doffs his shirt baring a chest free of scrapes and bruises. And like most thrillers, they don’t know how to wrap things up as they sprinkle in mid-credits “bonus’ scenes to tempt us with future sequels (oh they surely hope). Aside from the future software exploits, this will probably end the big screen capers of Nate and Sully. It’s a shame since Holland and Wahlberg have an easy-going rapport. They’re deserving of a better outing than this “kiddie-spin” (aside from the patricide and some throat-slitting) on the modern swashbucklers that’s more uninspired than UNCHARTED.

2 out of 4

UNCHARTED opens in theatres everywhere

DOG- Review

DOG_10803_RC Channing Tatum stars as Briggs and Lulu the Belgian Malinois in DOG A Metro Goldwyn Mayer Pictures film Photo credit: Hilary Bronwyn Gayle/SMPSP © 2022 Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Pictures Inc. All Rights Reserved

One of the major new movie releases this week poses a follow-up to the old chestnut about the friendship between a boy and his dog. So, does that extend into manhood? And would they be great “travel’ bros’ as in a buddy “road trip” adventure? Well, one of the silver screen’s “hunkiest” (maybe magical) leading men aims to explore that as he does double duty in front of and behind the camera. It’s a kibble-flavored popcorn flick as movie-goers embark on a hero’s journey alongside a lovable but difficult DOG.

The film’s title refers to Lulu (played by a trio of Belgian Malinois), a military canine trained to go into battle in the Middle East. A montage during the opening credits shows her as a puppy, then put into training, and eventually becoming a member of an elite Army Ranger unit. Unfortunately, she’s wounded, earning a purple heart, and so traumatized that she cannot follow commands, even from her handler, Sgt. Rodriguez, who’s also injured. As is his GI brother Briggs (Channing Tatum), who is working as a “sandwich artisan” at a gas stop while he hopes to get the “all clear” to return to duty (the docs say yes, but his captain hesitates). One snowy day at his Oregon home, Briggs gets the call from his cap to join in a “wake” for the now deceased Rodriguez. Cornering his CO at the end of the night, Briggs is given a mission that could be his way back “in”. The family Rodriguez wants Lulu to attend the funeral service in five days. Since she won’t fly, Briggs will need to transport her there in his old beat-up 1984 Ford Bronco. Not an easy task as Lulu is a “broken beast’, much like Briggs (he’s also dealing with PTSD). Ah, but once the trip is over, Briggs will return Lulu to the base to be “terminated” and he’ll be back with his unit. Surely nothing will go wrong on this trek. And Briggs won’t bond with Lulu, will he?

So yes, this is basically a two-person excursion, with Tatum ably doing most of the “heavy lifting” on his broad shoulders. We know from his fairly long list of rom-coms, and of course, those MM’s, that he’s got an undeniable (and a bit undefinable) charm and charisma which can carry him through the most absurdist situations, though an early sequence of him failing to “score” in a Portland bar with the local ladies feels a bit forced. But he’s also got a chance to stretch his dramatic wings as he deals with loss and regret (it’s not till the tale’s midpoint that we’re informed of his estranged wife and child). Plus there’s the added frustration that bubbles to the surface when trying to return to his former life as his mind and body fail him. Oh, there are a few other terrific two-legged actors too, particularly Ethan Suplee, the father (of two kids and of Lulu’s brother) who provides a bit of needed wisdom to Briggs. Ditto for an unlikely couple living “off the grid’ played by the unlikely paired Jane Adams and Kevin Nash, who’s like the burly big brother of Briggs. Oh, and we’ve got to talk about Lulu and the three canine actors that make us believe that this cuddly pup with the big sad brown eyes can unleash (sorry) chaos at any moment.

As I mentioned earlier, this is the directing debut of Tatum, who is ably aided by co-director Reid Carolin (who co-wrote the script with Brett Rodriguez), a daunting task since it’s been nearly five years since his last starring role (LUCKY LOGAN way back in 2017). The duo does their best to reign in the shifting tone of the often disjointed story. A chase through the woods suddenly takes a dark turn into PULP FICTION territory, while a con-artist caper as Briggs and Lulu pose as a blind vet and his service dog in order to get a swanky compted suite skirts the borders of bad taste. The comedy and sincere service dramatic plot butt heads with the film shifting gears too quickly almost inflicting whiplash. The film’s biggest issue may be its confusing marketing. The trailers and even the poster promise a zany slapstick comedy, but the “cute guy and his dog” are facing the same obstacles that many of those returning vets are dealing with. It is great to see Mr. Tatum on-screen again, but let’s hope his future films will be more focused (and the PR more forthcoming) than DOG.

2 Out of 4

DOG is now playing in theatres everywhere

THOSE WHO WALK AWAY – Review

As low-budget horror flicks go, THOSE WHO WALK AWAY, begins intriguingly as it establishes the two lead personae via their awkward chatting during the first meeting, resulting from their on-line dating connection. Booboo Stewart plays Max, a shy lad tentatively re-entering the social scene after a long preoccupation with caring for his mother during a severe illness. Scarlett Sperduto’s character Avery is relatively cool, though carrying her own set of baggage, as the two verbally circle each other like wary boxers at the start of a match.

As they wander through their small town, gradually opening up to this new potential partner beside them, it soon becomes apparent that Avery will be the Alpha if they become a couple. She persuades him to join her in exploring a reputedly haunted house. Odd choice for a first date but it’s one way to skip past the usual facades people bring to such encounters. So far, so good. We’re getting to like them as they are warming to each other, thanks to believable dialog and spot-on body language.

Once they enter the creepy dwelling, events turn ugly for the characters and the audience. The place houses a hideous creature with a homicidal agenda. We’re supposed to be scared by what happens, but mostly I found myself disoriented.

Apparently working on a low budget called for camera and lighting gimmicks that cost little and achieved less. Even worse, they didn’t invest what they saved on the filming in further writing efforts to make the script more coherent. I can’t be more specific without spoilers but I’d have remained more emotionally engaged with better understanding of how this all came about, including more of the backstory and abilities of the evil entity driving the whole thing. Three credited writers, including director Robert Rippberger, needed more time together. Or a fresh fourth set of eyes before they started shooting.

Whatever energy the latter half might have contained was dampened by a combination of pointlessly weird cuts and angles within the house, and excessively lingering shots of nothing in particular happening. The two leads were well cast. Stewart is presumably popular with younger viewers, since he was featured in the TWILIGHT series. I have no idea what his career aspirations may be but choosing the name of Yogi Bear’s sidekick over his birth name (Nils) and limitless alternatives seems to indicate a lack of ambition. “The name’s Bond; Booboo Bond” would only work on “Saturday Night Live.” Sperduto could clearly carry her weight in better films, and most certainly will.

Bottom line, Stewart and Sperduto are worth getting to know. She impresses me as a younger version of an Aubrey Plaza. I’m mildly curious about what Rippberger, whose directing career has been mainly shorts and documentaries, may yet accomplish with better scripts and bigger budgets. This effort is a reasonable choice for a mildly gory horror flick when you’re in that mood. But nothing here is particularly unique or memorable.

THOSE WHO WALK AWAY is available streaming starting on Friday, Feb. 11, on Apple TV, Amazon, Hoopla, iTunes, Google Play, Vudu and Microsoft, and in theaters in selected cities.

RATING: 1 out of 4 stars

JOCKEY – Review

When tossed off a horse and thrown into the hospital, what makes you get back on that horse? If you are a jockey, it is professionalism, pride and maybe a little bit of madness, hoping the next ride will take you to glory. In the horse racing drama JOCKEY, the talented Clifton Collins Jr. gives an affecting performance as an aging jockey, whose body has taken too many spills, grappling with a fading career and grasping at a final chance for glory. Director/co-writer Clint Bentley’s finely-crafted, well-acted, authentic drama about a little seen side of racing created buzz when it debuted at Sundance.

Jockeys are athletes engaged in a dangerous sport, one with a higher rate of injuries than most sports, and where most age out by their thirties. Collins’ character is in his forties, and quietly battling the serious consequences of his past injuries, but he is not yet ready to give up on dreams of glory.

That last chance at glory arrives in the form of a promising young horse that trainer Ruth (Molly Parker) has picked up for a song, and which she wants jockey Jackson Silva (Collins) to ride. The trainer and jockey are longtime partners in the racing business, but while Ruth is technically Jackson’s boss, she is also his friend. Ruth has high hopes about how far this horse can go, and she wants Jackson to share in that.

The horse’s potential has sparked big dreams in Jackson too, but his feelings are more mixed. He has been concealing troubling physical problems, with his grip and gait, that may be getting worse and, secretly, he worries whether he is still up to the job. Another distraction is a young jockey, Gabriel (Moises Arias), has turned up on the track and has been following Jackson around, with hopes of his own.

The “old warrior” bones of the story are familiar but this film is more complex and twisty than that would suggest. That depth is thanks in part to Collins’ excellent, deeply inhabited performance of a man worn down and facing his own mortality, with unfulfilled dreams at the close of a career. Credit also goes to costars Molly Parker and Moises Arias, who both do fine work here. But the film is aided, in addition, by the presence in the cast of real jockeys, such as Logan Cormier who plays Jackson’s best friend Leo, and the film’s palpable authenticity from being shot at a real Arizona racetrack, Turf Paradise.

Most horse racing dramas focus on the race and the winner’s circle but this one takes us behind the scenes for a look at the hardscrabble lives of working jockeys. It is a world director Clint Bentley, who co-wrote the script with Greg Kwedar and is the son of a jockey, knows well. Unlike most films set in this world, there are few racing scenes. Instead, the film focuses more on the people behind the scenes at the racetrack. Although the jockeys, trainers and grooms at this circuit track live itinerant, carny-like lives, there is a strong sense of community and camaraderie between them, which the film captures with moving warmth.

A beautiful golden light, at dawn or dusk, floods many scenes, transforming the dusty track and its barns into something magical. The symbolism about a man at his twilight is balanced by the film’s dialog, where talk at those moments often turns to various characters’ dreams and hopes, and conveys their strong human bonds, which yields some delightful scenes.

Clifton Collins Jr. is the perfect choice for this film, with his expressive face, across which play complex emotions as he grimaces with pain or mulls the fading of a career that has been his whole life. Jackson hides his pain and concerns behind a good-natured front of dry humor and banter with fellow jockeys. Collins delivers on a character study of a man nearing the end of his athletic career at middle age without having achieved all he wanted yet still dreaming. Jackson is well-regarded by his fellow jockeys and by trainers but he is working a dusty little race track in Phoenix.

JOCKEY packs a lot of human drama into its brisk 94 minutes running time, much like a horse race itself. Although the story is set in the world of professional jockeys and horse racing – and it does give special insights into that world – it isn’t really about races or horses but its people, and their ambitions and dreams, and the idea of legacy at the twilight of a long career. Unlike most movies about this world, there are few racing scenes.

But JOCKEY does take viewers inside the behind-the-scenes world of racing and jockeys like no other film, with an unparalleled realism and authenticity that is almost documentary-like. Director Clint Bentley, co-writer/producer Greg Kwedar and cinematographer Adolpho Veloso all have experience in documentary films, which helps the drama’s cinema verite style work, and its doc-like footage blend seamlessly with its more scripted scenes.

JOCKEY is a moving, intimate human drama led by an outstanding performance by Clifton Collins Jr., set in a fascinating but little seen world of jockeys and race tracks behind the scenes. In a nice touch, the end credits note that a portion of the film’s profits will go to a charity for permanently disabled jockeys.

JOCKEY opens Friday, Feb. 11, at Landmark’s Plaza Frontenac Cinema and other theaters.

RATING: 3.5 out of 4 stars

DEATH ON THE NILE (2022) – Review

In director Kenneth Branagh’s mystery-thriller “Death on the Nile” based on the 1937 novel by Agatha Christie, Simon Doyle (ARMIE HAMMER) and Linnet Ridgeway (GAL GADOT) are a picture-perfect couple on a honeymoon voyage down the Nile River which is tragically cut short. Wedding guests aboard the glamorous river steamer in this daring tale about the emotional chaos and deadly consequences triggered by obsessive love include Belgian sleuth Hercule Poirot (KENNETH BRANAGH) and an all-star cast of suspects. Twentieth Century Studios’ “Death on the Nile” opens in U.S. theaters on February 11, 2022. Photo by Rob Youngson. © 2020 Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation. All Rights Reserved.

Not in the mood for romance this big pre-holiday weekend? Well, how about a murder, most foul, and….quite stylish. You see, this isn’t a grim and gritty crime caper, like those profiled in all the podcasts and streaming channels. This is based on a classic novel from an iconic novelist with an almost as famous sleuth out to nab the culprits. Nope, it’s not the fellow from London with the deerstalker cap, nor the hard-nosed PI from San Fran spotting a battered fedora. This “prestige picture” marks the return (after nearly five years ) of the shamus with the spectacular ‘stashe, Hercule Poirot as portrayed by Kenneth Branaugh (still basking in the glow of all those recent Oscar noms, no doubt). He’s ditched the train in favor of an equally luxurious river steamer (with an equally impressive all-star cast) just in time the ponder the mystery concerning a grisly DEATH ON THE NILE.

We filmgoers do quite a bit of traveling also, as the prologue goes from the horror of WW1 in 1914 to a mid-1930s flashback in a crowded London jazz club. Poirot (Branaugh) is there to sample the superb desserts but is distracted by the blues guitar stylings of the enigmatic singer Salome Otterbourne (Sophie Okonedo), managed by her niece Rosalie (Letitia Wright). Also catching his eye is the re-uniting of old friends, the wealthy debutante Linnet Ridgeway (Gal Gadot) and school chum Jacqueline du Bellefort (Emma Mackey) who is there with her new fiancee, not-so-wealthy American Simon Doyle (Armie Hammer). Out of his hearing range, Jacqueline implores Linnet to hire Simon as a manager for her newest luxury manor. Several months later, Hercule is vacationing in Egypt and runs into his old friend from the Orient Express Bouc (Tom Bateman) who’s there with his prickly mother Euphemia (Annette Bening). The duo is staying at the plush local hotel to celebrate the wedding of Simon and…Linnet (how things can change in a few months). Also in attendance are Linnet’s godmother, the sickly “pro-worker” Marie Van Schuyler (Jennifer Sanders) with ever-present Nurse Bowers (Dawn French), her financial manager/cousin Katchadourian (Ali Fazal), and her ex-fiancee Dr. Windlesham (Russell Brand), along with entertainment provided by Salome and Rosalie. Oh, and a big surprise…the definitely “not-invited” Jacqueline. But this will not change the honeymoon plans. Hercule is invited to join them in a cruise down the Nile via the “top of the line” steamer, the Karnak. A side trek through the ruins almost ends in tragedy, but things don’t really get “dicey” until Jacqueline sneaks about at one of the ports. It’s almost inevitable that this unnerving tension will lead the way to (cue the ominous music beat)…MURDER!!

With the second “case” under his belt, Branugh brings a touch more humanity to the great Belgian detective. He shows us how the loss of a great romance altered his behavior, though he is progressing a bit more, Branugh’s superb line delivery shines through, whether he’s extolling a fine cuisine as he’s tossing a wry insult toward an insufferable intruder to his table. But there’s more warmth here as seen in his affection for the rascal Bouc and in his stammering infatuation with Salome, played with scene-stealing gusto by Okonedo. She demands respect while still being impressed and charmed by the eccentricities of Hercule. Mackey is almost a sad vengeful specter as the rebuffed Jacqueline. Bening embodies haughty propriety as the easily annoyed matron. What a treat to see the comedy team of French and Saunders reunited as the bickering duo (Schulyer dislikes the “upper classes” while Bowers delights in the “fancy fluff”). Speaking of comic actors, Brand is quite effective as the dejected suitor of Linette who knows that everyone finds him “ridiculous”.Once again, Gadot is luminous as the “poor lil’ rich girl”, glowing in the gorgeous retro fashions, though her character has little to do. And Hammer, in what could be his big-screen “swan song”, evokes the thin-mustached 30s “rakes” and “swells”.These river travelers are just as complex and compelling as those rail passengers from the last “crime caper”.

And once again, Branagh does double duty as director helming another Agatha Christie adaptation from Michael Green, a witty one at that. Actually, this follow-up feels a bit more fluid since the previous one went out of its way to get off the train to the point of absurdity (interrogation is the frigid tundra…brrrrr). There’s no great effort to “open it up” since it is a touring cruiser. The stroll through the ruins is eerie (I half expected Karloff to shamble out of a hidden chamber) and exciting, with great use of CGI and drone footage. The “meat” of the tale is on board and the Karnak becomes almost a character itself, with sudden staircases and dark lower decks. The film’s odd choices are really in the opening sequences. The WW1 scenes feel like rehashes of 1917, WONDER WOMAN, and even THE KING’S MAN, though the use of black and white gives it the look of a feverish nightmare. But then it goes from those battle terrors to the London nightclub where Salome provides the soundtrack to a thrusting, gyrating dancehall orgy (I hope several physical therapists were on call to handle pulled muscles and limbs). It’s a weird sweaty mix of DIRTY DANCING, “Cirque du Soleil”, and CALIGULA. Maybe those tiny desserts fueled the contortions. Well, at least the fashions were superb, with everyone reflecting the sun with the crisp variations of white and soft pastels. Ditto for the period furnishings, autos, and sets. For fans of all-star late show whodunits, this is a splendid reworking of the novel and its fondly recalled 1978 movie. DEATH ON THE NILE is an engaging mix of travelogue and mystery that should keep audiences guessing the culprit right up to the big reveal. Now if only Poirot could enjoy a murder-free vacation…

3 Out of 4

DEATH ON THE NILE is now playing in theatres everywhere

BLACKLIGHT – Review

*Liam Neeson in Mark Williams’ action thriller BLACKLIGHT. Courtesy of Briarcliff Entertainment.*

Liam Neeson has enjoyed an unusual career arc. The distinguished actor wasn’t considered an action hero until he unleashed his now-famous “particular set of skills” on the bad dudes what snatched his daughter in 2008’s TAKEN. At the time, he was 60 – an age when actors not named Bronson, Willis or Eastwood begin slowing down, rather than ramping up the adrenaline levels in their script selections. Unfortunately, this outing, BLACKLIGHT, fails to land in his admirably lengthy plus column.

In the string of TAKEN flicks and others, his motivation was personal and familial. Some comedian remarked that after three TAKEN adventures, his Bryan Mills character may not be a hero – just a really negligent dad. This time Neeson strays into clandestine political machinations in a vehicle that’s as poorly timed as it was written.

Leeson’s Travis Block has spent his career working directly for the head of the FBI, Gabriel Robinson (Aidan Quinn), primarily deployed to rescue undercover operatives when their covers are blown, or they otherwise require emergency extraction. He’s been a loyal soldier, completely devoid of curiosity about the reasons (or morality) behind his delegated duties. But when one young agent, Dusty Crane (Taylor John Smith), decides to become a whistle-blower due to what he considers egregious, illegal orders from on high. Quinn’s character assigns Neeson’s Travis to rein him in. The FBI head also sends a couple of other agents to knock the kid off, if need be. Smith’s character’s efforts to reach a journalist, Mira Jones (Emmy Raver-Lampman), with his story do not turn out as hoped.

Neeson’s character is torn between a lifetime of by-the-book obedience and a growing, gnawing feeling that Smith’s Crane may have been right. And thus the game is afoot. It’s just not very compelling to watch.

With direction by Mark Williams, with a script written by him and Nick May, the main action mixes awkwardly with the switches to Neeson’s fumbling efforts to become better as a grandpa to an adorable tyke (Gabriella Sengos), than he apparently had been as a husband, or father to his embittered daughter Amanda (Claire van der Boom). That thread is further complicated by questions about his own mental health, and how it may be affecting those relationships. The two plotlines do not mesh convincingly.

The tale’s energy is also drained by a surfeit of dialog about morality, transparency, abuses of power, etc. and a shortage of the action stuff. The underlying pattern of conduct that shapes these conflicts of positions and goals seems at risk of being elevated into a quasi-documentary by anti-government paranoids of every stripe. As if any of them need even more fuel for their disinformation machinery these days.

The plot is largely predictable. The cast plays its collection of genre types competently. The ending seems rushed, as if everyone on the set knew they’d made a mediocre movie, and were eager to move on. There are a few solid scenes for Neeson’s fans to enjoy, but not enough between them to make the ticket for this vehicle a priority.

BLACKLIGHT opens in theaters on Friday, Feb. 11.

RATING: 1.5 out of 4 stars

MARRY ME – Review

(from left) Kat Valdez (Jennifer Lopez) and Charlie Gilbert (Owen Wilson) in Marry Me, directed by Kat Coiro.

So you didn’t think that I WANT YOU BACK would be the only “rom-com” feature dropping on this pre-Valentine’s Day weekend? Did you? I mean there’s got to be one to play the multiplexes since the other flick is only streaming (well, this one’s doing both actually), right? Oh, and this new release is the long-awaited return to the genre by the multi-talented (all manner of media, really) star that some have dubbed (heard it on one of the morning TV chat shows just the other day) “the patron saint of rom-coms”. Now don’t expect her to be a demure passive heroine this time out. Her demands and agenda pretty much boil down to two words: MARRY ME (Imagine the length of that queue, yeesh).

The lady with that simple request is worldwide pop sensation Kat Valdez (Jennifer Lopez). Her decades-long popularity has gotten a big “bump” recently with her very public romance with “up and coming ” crooner Bastian (Maluma). They’ve got a duet that’s at the top of the charts, “Marry Me”, and actually plan on tieing the knot at the conclusion of their joint concert spectacular (beamed around the globe, of course) at NYC’s Madison Square Garden. Miles away from the whirlwind of planning and “prep”, middle school math teacher and divorced dad Charlie Gilbert (Owen Wilson) is taking his pre-teen daughter Lou (Chloe Coleman) to school (he works there, she attends). Naturally, she wants to distance herself from him, upcoming her “coolness cred”. In between classes, guidance counselor and pal Parker Debbs (Sarah Silverman) tells Charlie that she now has two extra tickets to the sold-out Kat and Bastian concert (her ex-girlfriend and her new GF bailed). Charlie reluctantly agrees in order to impress Lou. But things don’t quite go as planned at the big multi-media event. Minutes before the nuptials, as Kat dons her sparkly wedding gown, Page Six drops a big scandal on their website, complete with a “hidden camera” video. A stunned and shocked Kat silences the orchestra and addresses the audience. As she scans the crowd she spots Charlie holding Lou’s makeshift poster board that says “Marry Me”. Kat beckons him to the stage. The wedding will go on, but with a new groom. Concerned about Kat’s state of mind, Charlie agrees and the two exchange “I do’s”. Backstage the pair, go their separate ways, with Kat’s flabbergasted manager Collin (John Bradley) insisting that he will have it all annulled within hours and monetarily compensate Charlie. But Kat’s got other ideas after a brief conversation with Charlie generates sparks. Could this impromptu gesture actually turn into something? But can their very different worlds mesh?

That “patron saint’ is Lopez of course, who seems to be taking somewhat of a career “backstep”, as this is her first feature since her lauded bravada turn three years ago as the “stripper pole queen” of HUSTLERS. At least Kat is a bit closer to her own ‘perceived’ persona, a “meta skewing’ of the publicity chaos that appears to surround her 24/7. Still, she brings a real change to the character as she emerges from the “bubble” and learns to “walk amongst the mortals” and truly connect. That main “mortal man” is the always charming Wilson who still has that affable everyman vibe (guessing if the flick was made 75 years ago, Jimmy Stewart would “aw shucks” he way with it). His Charlie bonds with everyone, especially his “math team”, but Wilson still gives him a wry attitude as he makes subtle digs at the “superstar” life. Rounding out this unlikely “love triangle” is Bastian played by Columbian heartthrob Maluma in his big feature film debut (though we can hear him in ENCANTO). He earns kudos for playing up all the “diva arrogance’ as he practically spits venom at Charlie as he tries to slither his way back to Kat. Also scoring is Ms. Coleman who is endearing as Charlie’s daughter trying to “find her own way” while still needing her daddy. The film is really packed with many of the best comic actors, but their “edges” are somewhat “smoothed” for this mass-audience entertainment. Stand-up star Michelle Buteau buzzes about as Kat’s viral-obsessed aide, while Utkarsh Ambudkar sneers and jeers as a rival math team coach. But the biggest “missed-op” is Silverman as Parker a “gender-switched” take on the rom-com cliche of the heroine’s ultra-supportive gay BFF or next-door neighbor. Her dangerous on-stage bawdy snark is neutered as the school staffer/ wannabe rep for Charlie. Perhaps she hopes to “expand the brand’, but her role here feels toothless. Oh well, at least there’s Jimmy Fallon bucking his “nice guy” image for a more surly prickly twist on his late-night TV gig.

The whole film hinges on the whole premise taken from some of the recent cable-TV “mating shows’ (with titles like “Married at First Sight”, “Love is Blind”, etc.). For most of us (well, me) the whole “plucking from the crowd” thing comes off as ludicrous in the extreme. Perhaps it worked better in the original graphic novel or webcomic (okay, a comic book) by Bobby Crosby which couldn’t quite gel in the screen adaptation by Harper Dill, John Rogers, and Tami Sanger. The concert finale is meant to be Kat’s on-stage meltdown, but her competent compassionate manager Collin (played warmly by Bradley) would’ve pulled the plug on it. We get a hint of the crazed paparazzi-fueled frenzy, but it’s more a mild annoyance. Director Kat Corio does her best with the material, but we can predict the relationship roadmap proceeding along the usual route to its inevitable destination. The leads are likable enough, but the whole thing feels too cloying and cutesy. If that weren’t enough we’re almost suffocated by the “synergy”. Scenes are built around different parts of the Universal media family. Aside from Fallon, NBC Today provides a constant “Greek chorus” along with Telemundo. Enough with the Tie-ins”!Perhaps this was intended as a 25th-anniversary reunion of the two stars (ANACONDA was way back in 1997), but only the most fervent rom-com fanatic will get anything from this wobbly wonky gender-spin on PRETTY WOMAN (with some NOTTING HILL tossed in). Better to stream those gems rather than endure the dreary by-the-numbers MARRY ME.

1 Out of 4

MARRY ME opens in theatres everywhere and streams exclusively on Peacock beginning on Friday, February 11, 2022

I WANT YOU BACK – Review

As you dash about making restaurant reservations and scheduling floral deliveries for the big holiday this weekend, do you ever think about those “non-participators”? I’m guessing that you may not during the whirlwind of “preps”. Sure. most of the “romantically challenged” hadn’t counted on joining in this Monday, but what about those who really thought they’d be toasting their “special someone”? As sort of “counter-programing” two of these “unfortunates” are the focus of a very twisted “rom-com”. This duo is completely “blindsided” by their respective “bust-ups”. So do they break out the ice cream as they plant themselves on the couch for a marathon streaming TV binge? Oh no, they hatch a scheme that loudly declares (though not out loud to the “targets”), I WANT YOU BACK.

The “shenanigans” start during a really awful weekend for our two main subjects. Funny, funky Emma (Jenny Slate) is finishing up a delicious brunch with her hunky beau Noah (Scott Eastwood), when he drops the “bomb”. He’s “moving on” and has a new “lady”, Ginny (Clark Backo), who owns her own trendy pie shop, while Emma hasn’t advanced (she’s still living in her old college apartment with new much-younger student roommates). Across town, affable, friendly Peter (Charlie Day) is frolicking with the “birthday boy’ at his girlfriend’s family’s party. He’s having a blast, but his gal Anne (Gina Rodriguez) seems distant and distracted. Peter finally pries the reason why from her: she’s done with his un-adventurous nature and has taken up with somebody that’s more “free-spirited”. He, like Emma, is completely stunned. But it’s back to work on Monday, so he attends a big morning meeting with the rest of the “team” at a major “senior retirement living center” management company…until he sees a social media pic of Anne and her new fella’. Peter dashes out of the conference room and heads to the building’s stairwell to compose himself. His sobbing is interrupted by a wail of anguish. It’s Emma, who works three floors below as a dental receptionist. The two bond over their shared heartache, and after an evening of karaoke they formulate a strategy. Grabbing info from their exes’ internet posts, they’ll help each other break up the new couples. Emma will seduce Anne’s guy, drama teacher Logan (Manny Jacinto), while Peter (he can’t compete with his beefcake perfection) will become pals with Noah and turn him against Ginny (the ole’ Iago ploy). But can this master plan really succeed? Can these conspirators really repair their old romances?

This “twisty-turny” farce provides a terrific showcase for its two engaging stars (who are deserving of a much larger audience). Slate has already “headlined’ in several interesting “indie” comedies (OBVIOUS CHILD and LANDLINE are the standouts), so her comedic ‘chops’ are proven. This time she reveals an endearing vulnerable side as the floundering Emma who tries to hide her pain behind a mask of snark. There’s an emotional wound, but Slate, through her moist eyes, shows that she thinks that maybe Emma is really “stuck”. Lucky for the filmmakers that she has caustic comic chemistry with Day who tempers his manic “motor-mouthed” delivery with a true sweetness as he questions his “mission”. And he too knows that he’s got to get out of his “comfort zone”, personally and professionally, as Pete was too scared of taking “risks”. And while their former flames would be the “baddies” in other flicks, the “dumpers” somehow don’t deserve our disdain. That’s due in large part to the work of Rodriguez and Eastwood. She’s wanting to “breakout’ before getting “settled”, but Anne still hesitates on making a big (sexual) “leap”. We know the camera adores Eastwood, but his warm take on Noah, closer to an “every-bro”, is moving, especially as he makes Peter his new “lil’ bro”. Oh ditto for their “new loves”. Backo’s a sweet career-minded woman who’s not taking the “plunge” till all is “right”. Jacinto’s a flighty spacey but sweet goofball (a slightly smarter take on his “The Good Place” TV role), who’s more adventurous than anyone thinks (aside from letting his middle school students put on a fairly adult musical). One of his students, Trevor. is played with natural ease by young Luke David Blumm, who has a touching rapport with Salte’s Emma.

Yes, as you may have surmised this is a “rom-com” riff on a Hitchcock classic, though it’s not the first funny “re-imagining” (that would be THROW MAMA FROM THE TRAIN from, really, 35 years ago). Rather than STRANGERS ON A TRAIN, this is “Strangers in a Stairwell” for the main premise. And it really is a “clever spin” on that chestnut thanks to the unpredictable script by TV vets Isaac Aptaker and Elizabeth Berger. Of course, we know that things won’t go completely according to Emma and Peter’s scheme, but the surprises and “turn arounds’ keep us invested and alert. The characters grow and emotionally change, thanks in part to the brief “detours”, particularly Emma’s warm friendship with Trevor in which she takes a big leap into “adulthood”. The story’s pace is solid thanks to the confident, directing from Jason Orley (pretty great for his sophomore feature film). It’s very strong for a comic romp with no true villains, but folks with different dreams and agendas. The Georgia locales are lovely, especially a big finale set aboard a riverboat. The film’s biggest plus is that I wanted to keep “hanging” with the characters just as the credits started to roll (a real rarity). Its biggest minus is the fact that it won’t be in theatres, since this film gives a nice “sheen” to the tarnished “rep” of “rom-coms”. Let’s hope we’ll see future pairings of Slate and Day because I WANT YOU BACK. Someday…

3 out of 4

I WANT YOU BACK streams exclusively on Amazon Prime Video beginning Friday, February 11, 2022

SUNDOWN – Review

Things are not always as they appear. In Mexican writer/director Michel Franco’s SUNDOWN, Tim Roth and Charlotte Gainsbourg play members of a family on vacation in Acapulco, Mexico, in a suspenseful drama where things are not always what they seem.

While the Bennett family – Neil (Tim Roth), Alice (Charlotte Gainsbourg) and teens Alexa (Albertine Kotting McMillan) and Colin (Samuel Bottomley) – vacations at a posh beach side resort, their pleasant holiday is interrupted by a family emergency back home in London. Alice is distraught at the news, while Neil’s reaction is muted. At the airport, Neil tells the family he forgot his passport back at the hotel. But rather than delaying everyone, he says he will go to back to retrieve it and then catch the next flight, while the rest of the family boards their hastily-arranged flight back home to London. After they depart, Neil grabs a cab but instead tells the driver to take him to a hotel, any hotel, instead of going back to the resort.

So what is going on and what kind of person is Neil? Those are questions that intrigue us and keep us guessing in this mysterious, suspenseful drama. While he spins excuses to Alice on the phone, Neil extends his vacation, spending his days on the beach, drinking Dos Equis, eventually taking up with a woman at a nearby shop, Berenice (Iazua Larios).

Neil’s behavior is puzzling, even cold-hearted given that there is a funeral to arrange back in London. But we also sense sadness, maybe desperation, in his low-key demeanor. Not to give too much away, but director/writer Michel Franco is slyly playing on assumptions he knows we will make. More is going on here than it first seems, and as the film unfolds, more is revealed, along with some shocking events.

The director wrote the film specifically for Tim Roth, with whom he has worked before in 2015’s CHRONIC. Franco’s work has been compared to Michael Haneke’s and SUNDOWN is an understated film with unsettling undercurrents, with Roth playing a character who reactions are both puzzling and muted. At under an hour and a half, the film’s deliberate pace isn’t an issue but it also brings in some shocking twists and sudden violence, while weaving in issues of crime, violence, income inequality and class divides in contemporary Mexico.

Roth’s character Neil is the central puzzle of the film, a complicated, multi-layered one. As we wonder why he behaves as he does and what is really going on with him and his family, things make more sense as we learn more about the family. While we can see the family is clearly affluent, it is eventually revealed they are very wealthy and the owners of slaughterhouses.

That unconventional puzzle is set against a backdrop of some unsettling, sometime shocking events, although both the filmmaker and the character keep everything at arm’s length, which all feed into what is really going on with Neil. The reason, or at least the explanation, for Neil’s behavior becomes clearer by the film’s end, but as the story unfolds, the questions keep us involved and wondering about what is next and that seemingly passive, preoccupied guy at its center.

Roth gives a subtle, affecting performance, filled with a vague sense of sadness and distance, that on re-watching gives clues to what is happening with Neil from the start. At first, Neil appears to be sociopathic but even before we understand more about what is going on with him, it is hard to dislike him, because he projects an underlying despair and he is so mild and asks so little of those around him. We are infuriated and puzzled by his behavior towards his family but are shocked further when he hardly reacts when a man is shot next to him on the beach, showing neither fear nor concern, only surprise. Tensions are high when Neil draws the attention of some shady characters, who casually sit down uninvited at his table at a beach bar and grill, seeming to size him up for robbery or a con.

While Roth’s Neil is all passivity, Gainsbourg’s character is the opposite, verging on hysteria at the bad news from home, growing impatient and then angry at Neil’s behavior, demanding and constantly calling and texting him. The family lawyer, Richard (Henry Goodman), becomes a go-between and a source of insight on the family for us.

SUNDOWN constantly plays on our shifting assumptions while Roth slowly crafts the character, but unfolding events reveal the story, and insights on life in Mexico, the wealthy Bennett family, and what is driving Neil. Nothing is simple, as perceptions shift while we go down this mysterious, ultimately heartbreaking hole.

With its strange central character and willingness to unsettle its audience, SUNDOWN is a film that won’t appeal to every taste. SUNDOWN can be challenging but it is a brilliantly crafted film with much to say about people and the state of modern life in Mexico, and elsewhere for that matter, with a sparkling but subtle performance by Roth, which make this suspenseful mystery drama well worth the effort.

SUNDOWN opens Friday, Feb. 4, at Landmark’s Plaza Frontenac Cinema and other theaters nationally.

RATING: 3.5 out of 4 stars

JACKASS FOREVER – Review

Hmmm, is 2022 turning out to be a twenty-year anniversary celebration for several beloved film franchises? Could be. After all. the year started a tad early for the still-formidable box-office juggernaut, SPIDER-MAN: NO WAY HOME, which arrived with two weeks left of the previous year, and about six months ahead of that first web-head feature’s 20th this May. And just last weekend Disney+ hosted the latest animated outing, THE ICE AGE ADVENTURES OF BUCK WILD, the sixth in the series that started two months before Spidey. Now, these flicks are pretty “family-friendly”.Not one entry in this series could ever be trimmed to meet anything but an “R” rating (many would say a “hard R”). So, heed that “black-screened-backed disclaimer/warning” for the sake of yourself and your loved ones (and anybody nearby) because those deranged daredevil doofuses as back in JACKASS FOREVER.

Now, this is where I’d normally try to summarize the story and plot without giving too much away. That doesn’t work for this as it’s basically a collection of stunts and stupidity. It opens with a gleeful homage to the big monster movies that bombarded the TV airwaves on countless Saturday afternoons. Each member of the “merry band’ is introduced and spotlighted. Their “leader’. the “Moe” to these stooges is Phillip-John Clapp AKA Johnny Knoxville, the franchise’s genial host and “mastermind” (yeah, I guess we can say that). Many of his cohorts like Steve-O and Jason “Wee-Man” Acuna go all the way back to the 2000 MTV series. There are some newer faces as a “passing of the torch” (with fire extinguishers at the ready) occurs with the addition of new “cast members” like Zach Holmes and the African-American father/son “tag-team” of Jaspar Dolphin and Compton “Dark Shark” Wilson. And there’s a bit of “glass-ceiling shattering” when Rachel Wolfson joins in on the slapstick stunts. Plus they’ve packed in a few special celebrity “guest stars”. From the music world, you’ll see “Machine Gun” Kelly (no he didn’t bring his fiance) and Tyler the Creator, along with Eric Andre (who was inspired by the guys for last year’s BAD TRIP). Several of the best “bits” are inspired by the movies (a great send-up of the “pitch black” finale of SILENCE OF THE LAMBS), while many involve dangerous animals, who embody the whole idea of the “wild card” (though he’s got a wildlife name, “Dark Shark” is truly unnerved by them). It all builds to an “anything goes’ military-themed battle royale which pokes fun at the firepower of countless action blockbusters. And there are some tasty tidbits “off to the side’ while the end credits roll past.

As if a synopsis isn’t tough enough, a “yeah or nay” review is almost maddening. But then a flick like this is close to “review-proof”. It’s the old nugget that “if you like this sort of thing, then this is the sort of thing you’ll like”. Fans of the MTV show and the five (yup) other feature films, will have a rollicking good time. And I will admit to laughing hard (tear trickles rolling down) more than I should admit. Somehow these shenanigans unleash the ten-year-old boy inside us that chuckles at a pratfall (up to a certain age). These are almost live-action incarnations of the Looney Tunes gang (or Famous or Terrytoons), rubbery clowns who get smacked down, but who heals (enough) to reform in the next scene. Perhaps a better comparison may be to the silent cinema clowns, especially the “thrill comics” like Buster Keaton and particularly Harold Lloyd, who make you gasp in terror before turning it into a loud guffaw. What also stands out is the creativity of the “planners’ who form these sequences and then erect the Rube Goldberg devices of comedy “torture” (the engineering that goes into the perfect “groin gag”). We’re often shaking our heads thinking “How’d they come up with that?”. And the changing times have affected the stunts. There’s more concern for the safety of the animals involved (it seems) than the cast (hear that PETA). And when a deadly critter lands on the breast of Ms. Wolfson, the fellas frantically plead for her permission to brush it away. The photography is top-notch, getting in every bit of the agony (a wonder considering the weak “gag-reflex” of one of the cameramen) as is the editing using precise slow motion to pinpoint the punishment. But it’s not the abuse that really endures at the film’s end. It’s obvious that these guys (and lady), despite the teasing and grumbling, truly love each other. They share the cuts and bruises and a true affection as each “feat” bonds them as brothers (of the bandages). It’s goofy and silly, but a bit wistful as most of the originators, like Danny Glover’s Murtaugh, are “Getting too old for this s#*t” (we see Knoxville’s hair go from auburn to silver as he screams “Don’t shoot my bald spot!”). Yes, they don’t heal as quickly now, but each and everyone is a JACKASS FOREVER.

3 out of 4

JACKASS FOREVER is now playing in theatres everywhere

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this: