Adam Sandler to Play JACK AND JILL

adam sandler

Adam Sandler seems to be bouncing his career around three, different types of film.  He’s got the dramatic roles (REIGN OVER ME and FUNNY PEOPLE), he’s got the kiddie roles (BEDTIME STORIES), and he’s got the out-and-out comedy roles (YOU DON”T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN).  From the sound of it, his latest choice sounds like it could fall into that kiddie category, as Sandler has signed on to play both siblings in a romantic comedy titled JACK AND JILL.

Little is known about the project, other than Sandler will be playing a man and his twin sister, and, if the thought of seeing Sandler dressed up as a woman doesn’t get your laugh meter going, then you’re just not human.  Sandler’s Happy Madison will be producing, and Steve Koren, Robert Smigel, and Sandler worked on the screenplay.

Honestly, this sounds like one of those crappy, Hollywood movies George Simmons built his career out of in FUNNY PEOPLE.  Don’t be surprised to hear Sandler has signed on to star alongside Owen Wilson in MY BEST FRIEND IS A ROBOT.  But, hey, everybody’s gotta make their house payments, right?

Sony is looking for JACK AND JILL to release in early 2011.

Steve Carr Bringing Johnny 5 Alive

short circuit

What can really be said about the director of PAUL BLART: MALL COP coming on board to direct the remake of SHORT CIRCUIT?   We could sit here and point fingers and talk about what a horrible idea this all is all the way from A to B to C, but, when all is said and done, how harmful is a SHORT CIRCUIT remake really?   The original isn’t a classic in the annals of film history by any stretch, and it certainly is a nice, lateral move for director Steve Carr to go from Kevin James to a talking robot.   Is it a dumb move?   Certainly not.   SHORT CIRCUIT, untouchable classic or not, is definitely a brand, and Carr’s last film pulled in $183 million worldwide.

Who knows?   With a screenplay from ROBOT CHICKEN and GREG THE BUNNY alumnus Dan Milano, the SHORT CIRCUIT remake could actually have some edge to it, and it might even make us laugh now and again.   That’s what it’s come down to, folks.   We’re okay with movies making us laugh a handful of times.   Get used to it, because the barrel full of potential reboots is extremely deep, and Hollywood execs aren’t getting any bolder.

This news comes courtesy of Variety.

DVD Review: STAN HELSING

stan helsing

It’s very easy to hate a movie like this. It might as well be part of the SCARY MOVIE series, only it’s no where near as clever. Stan Helsing (Steve Howey)  is a stoner, douche bag, video store clerk who happens to be the descendent of Van Helsing, the famous monster killer that took out Dracula. On Halloween night several of films most famous monsters come to kill him, but first Stan has to drop off some tapes to the owner of the video store’s mother. Along the way they run into a lot of creepy people, but eventually get lost and trapped in a small cursed town where monsters come out after midnight. Now Stan has to save the people of the town, his friends, and live up to his destiny. Oh and he has to do it in a very terrible comedy with almost no laughs.

I honestly hated everything about this movie and had a very VERY hard time sitting through it. It’s jut on the cusp of seemingly like anyone actually tried. It’s several performances that are just bland and boring all around. The villains are bad rip offs of Pin Head, Leatherface, Freddy, Michael Myers and some others and they’re all idiots. What’s worse are there are moments that literally make no sense. One character comes out of the bathroom, did a costume change and then says “…does my vagina make me look fat?” To which the two men in the group start ranting and raving and then say no. It has nothing to do with anything, and you don’t see a vagina at all. It’s just awkward and unfunny. If they had panned down and she had some monstrous camel toe I might have understood.

Every single joke in this film fell flat. The only thing I laughed at was Leslie Neilsen’s appearance. It was surprisingly funny because he acted like a complete jerk. Most of the time Neilsen’s appearance in one of these films involves him playing some one slightly dumber than everyone around him. Here he’s sharp, witty and very biting. Nice change of pace. I guess it would have been redundant to have him playing a moron around an entire cast of people acting like morons.

You can’t really be surprised by how awful STAN HELSING is as a film. Director Bo Zenga has no directorial experience and is one of the writers on SOUL PLANE.  SOUL PLANE is one of the worst movies of all time and I’d have thought that anyone involved with creating it would have been banished from making more films. Sadly this isn’t the case. Zenga’s also responsible for writing STAN HELSING which explains the lack of any kind of humor.

SLAMMIN’ SALMON Knocking Your Head Off in December

slammin salmon

While I wasn’t just the hugest fan of Broken Lizard’s latest movie, THE SLAMMIN’ SALMON (you can check out my SXSW review right here), I still have to give credit to the comedy troupe for the film.  Even their weakest film, which I believe this to be, is still funnier than 90% of the comedies that typically come out.  You can probably knocked that down to 75-80% for the last couple of years, but it still gets a passing grade.

Having said that, I am shocked it took this long, but the film has finally been picked up for distribution.  According to Variety, Anchor Bay picked up all US, UK, and Australian rights to the film, and they plan to release the film in the US in December.  Not only that, but Comedy Central has also acquired first-run rights for free TV.

With films like SPREAD and BEYOND A REASONABLE DOUBT under Anchor Bay’s theatrical belt, THE SLAMMIN’ SALMON could see the company’s widest release.  However, having said that, I don’t see the film getting the near-3000 screen wide release BEERFEST got in 2006.  Expect more in the 1700-1800 screen release range that Broken Lizard’s first two features, SUPER TROOPERS and CLUB DREAD, received.

No specific date for release has been set.

Review: COCKHAMMER (NSFW)

cockhammer

Kevin Strange and the Hack Movies family have returned with their newest cinematic endeavor into low-budget, uncensored debauchery… and our review begins with this warning:

This film contains scenes depicting violence, gore, nudity, profane language, and a generally distasteful, albeit good-natured, sentiment.  If this sounds like the type of film you’d rather not get into…

STOP WATCHING NOW! Continue reading Review: COCKHAMMER (NSFW)

Review: A SERIOUS MAN

aseriousmanmovie

No matter how normal, no matter how pleasant or safe our lives feel at any given moment — the sobering truth of it all remains that anything can happen at any time, for any reason and without even the slightest hint of logic or reasoning. This fact of life could hardly be more present within the Coen Brothers new film A SERIOUS MAN.

The film opens with a quote. Pay attention, as it serves it’s purpose in the enigmatic story of a man trying to make sense of his life, past, present and future. No, this isn’t a retelling of A CHRISTMAS CAROL… that comes later this year and is animated. In fact, it’s been suggested that the film is actually a modern retelling of the Book of Job. Regardless, A SERIOUS MAN is a story about how the universe works and how it doesn’t always work in our favor. Call it chance, fate, whatever… the point is, none of us have any control over anything.

The opening scene takes us into an era past, serving more as an allegory for the film to come, but also sets up the tone of A SERIOUS MAN and gets our minds headed down the right path, even if we have no idea what the path is… even after the film ends. The story itself takes place in 1967 and follows a series of events in the life of Larry Gopnik (Michael Stuhlbarg), an average, mild-mannered Jewish family man and physics professor. Larry is a relatively quiet and decent man, but when his life begins to fall apart around him, one jaw-dropping piece at a time, he finds himself questioning everything.

Larry’s wife Judith (Sari Lennick) drops the first bombshell on his fragile existence, introducing the suave yet unlikable character Sy Ableman (Fred Melamed) and starting the chain reaction of mostly unrelated occurrences that will nearly send Larry over the edge. Interwoven into Larry’s story is his son Danny’s (Aaron Wolff) story, which runs it’s own course until the end when his story comes full circle, acting as the catalyst for an altogether brilliant ending in true Coen Brothers style.

Speaking of the ending, the [fill in the blank] which appears in the final scene actually serves as a sort of metaphor, representing one potential answer to Larry’s primary question. You know, the question all of mankind has been asking for countless generations, the one that civilizations across the globe have repeatedly attempted to answer. On a side note, the film is already garnering the usual praise for the Coen Brothers as masters of their craft, but is also raising hackles amidst some who feel the film mocks the Jewish faith. To those whom find this film offensive, and with no assumptions as to any real understanding of such feelings, I simply ask with all due respect… Why so serious?

Stuhlbarg (BODY OF LIES) is very good in A SERIOUS MAN. The film is deeply rooted within the Jewish faith and culture, but really is not exclusive to this setting. This is a story that could happen to anyone. That’s not to say there isn’t plenty to learn about the Jewish experience from this film, but try not to allow this element to get in the way. Joel and Ethan Coen have clearly implemented the cardinal rule of writing… to write what you know.

The dialogue utilizes a frequent use of the Hebrew language, but in small does sprinkled throughout the film. I found this element extremely well-placed, adding a certain cultural spice and intrigue. The film makes no effort to explain these terms, but they are integrated in a way that allows the audience to put two and two together and not get lost or confused. I appreciate this common thread by the Coen Brothers’ to challenge audiences with their films, but not in a pretentious way.

Perhaps one of the most surprising and enjoyable parts of A SERIOUS MAN is the performance given by Richard Kind (THE GRAND, THE VISITOR) as Larry brother, affectionately referred to as Uncle Arthur. He lives with Larry and his family, has an awkwardly inconvenient medical condition and serves as one of various unlikely sources of insight for Larry in his painfully relentless search for answers.

Richard Kind delivers a performance with range and realism. As an audience, we find ourselves feeling sorry for him, being annoyed by him and yet also find him oddly likable. While I certainly feel Richard Kind is deserving a spot amidst the Oscar nominations for Best Supporting Actor, he unfortunately is overshadowed by Christoph Waltz’s performance in INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS.

Despite the initial impression going in of a story that sounds potentially slow, drab or boring, A SERIOUS MAN is anything but, as true Coen Brothers fans will attest. This film has plenty of energy, an even mixture of serious comedy and comically dramatic moments, with a tiny pinch of the darker side of things for flavor. And, for those serious Coen Brothers fans, A SERIOUS MAN also features a few staples for our enjoyment.

Carter Burwell (FARGO, ADAPTATION) makes this the 13th film he’s scored for the Coen Brothers and does so with great success. Roger Deakins (THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION, KUNDUN) also returns as the impeccable cinematographer he is, making this his 10th time behind the camera for the Coen Brothers. Just for fun, listen closely to catch the reference to the Coen Brothers’ last film BURN AFTER READING.

Overall, A SERIOUS MAN is a funny but honest film that makes us think. It’s an enigmatic ride, but one that’s eerily familiar, if not exaggerated a bit for our own viewing pleasure. The film begins and ends strongly, and maintains it’s strength throughout. The ending, in particular, hits like a ton of slightly enlightened bittersweet bricks. On the scale of audience accessibility, A SERIOUS MAN falls somewhere between NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN and O BROTHER WHERE ART THOU, but I highly recommend any who finds this fearful to overcome that fear.

There Is No MONSTER SQUAD Remake In the Works…Yet

monstersquad

While, I’m sure, it’s a grand day at the Mike Mitchell household (Mitchell being the director of DEUCE BIGELOW: MALE GIGOLO and the upcoming SHREK FOREVER AFTER), this article is here more to clarify wandering Internet movie news gatherers who may come across a headline that swirls up their anger.  Yes, Mitchell has signed on to direct MONSTER SQUAD.  No, it is not a remake of the Fred Dekker classic from 1987.

The new MONSTER SQUAD, formerly titled NIGHTCRAWLERS, is having its official synopsis kept under tight wraps at Warner Brothers, but The Hollywood Reporter is calling it a high-concept, big-budget, supernatural fantasy.

A shoot date is being set for late Summer 2010.

While this article isn’t about a remake of Dekker’s MONSTER SQUAD, the rights to that film are still being held at Paramount.  A little over a year ago, THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR director Rob Cohen was planning to produce.  Word on that project has stifled since.  However, the news of the film at WB getting pushed forward could put the fire under Paramount’s feet for the sake of the name alone.

Fantastic Fest 2009 – DOGHOUSE Review

doghouse

I have to say that Fantastic Fest goers were the perfect audience to enjoy this soon to be cult classic with. DOGHOUSE is a British zombie film that has a truly unique and funny take on the genre.

DOGHOUSE starts out by introducing us to Vince, a divorcee who’s friends are determined to get him back on track. His friends Neil (Danny Dyer) and Mikey (Noel Clarke) come up with the idea to go to Mikey’s home town where the ratio of women to men is 4 to 1, and apparently the women are all gorgeous. They along with several more friends rent a van with a hot driver Candy (Christina Cole) and head off to this supposed heaven for single men.

When they get there, not everything is as promised. The house they’re staying at is a mess, the place is filthy and it’s in the middle of nowhere. Sure there are loads of beautiful women, but they’re all braindead mutants hell bent on killing every man they see. Now Neil, Mikey, Vince and the rest are in for the worst holiday imaginable.

This movie is hilarious. There are some truly laugh out loud horror shock moments that had me rolling. This is a great companion piece to movies like SHAUN OF THE DEAD and ZOMBIELAND. It really knows it’s material and the genre that spawned it, and director Jake West knows how to take Dan Schaffer’s writing and turn it into some thing fun.

The only real issue I had with the film is a passing one. The conclusion to everything just feels a little tagged on. It’s not a bad ending by any means, but it feels like they just didn’t quite know how to bring everything to a close

Ivan Reitman Confirmed for GHOSTBUSTERS 3, But For What?

ivan reitman

Sometimes, a bit of news comes along of which you’re not quite sure what to make.  According to Bloody Disgusting, Ivan Reitman, director of GHOST BUSTERS and GHOSTBUSTERS 2, is confirmed for GHOSTBUSTERS 3.  It’s probably just better to run some quotes here rather than try to explain his role in the film.

have straight up confirmed, 100%, without a shadow of a doubt that Ivan Reitman, director of Ghost Busters and Ghostbusters II, is in fact attached to get behind the camera for GHOSTBUSTERS 3. While he’s attached, the word is that he hasn’t decided whether or not he really wants to direct, yet.

Does this mean Reitman may be stepping into the role of director of photography on the film with someone else serving as director?  If so, it would be Reitman’s first time acting as cinematographer since the 1969, X-rated THE COLUMBUS OF SEX.

Bloody Disgusting also conjured up a synopsis on the new GHOSTBUSTERS film.  Evidently, it will take place years after the Ghost Busters headquarters has been shut down.  The film would deal with a new threat that forces the paranormal investigators to reopen their doors.

As confirmed throughout the years of the film’s gestation, all principal players will be returning.

Joss Whedon’s CABIN IN THE WOODS Pushed Back a Year

cabin in the woods

If you were waiting with baited breath for Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard’s CABIN IN THE WOODS, you’re just going to have to wait a little bit longer. It appears the almighty dollar has won out. Shock Till You Drop is reporting that the horror film, initially set to scare its way into theaters on February 5th, 2010, has been pushed back nearly a full year to January 14th, 2011. The reason? According to MGM reps, early buzz on the film has been phenomenal, and the studio wants the time to convert the film over to 3-D.

Now, it is no surprise how I feel about films that are transferred over to 3-D after the fact. It’s one thing to have a film like AVATAR that was born and bred to play via the latest, state-of-the-art format of 3-D. It’s another thing entirely to take an already established film and filter it through the 3-D gimmickry that is seeming to inundate the filmmaking universe. This news comes just a little over a week after the news broke that the Weinsteins were halting production on HALLOWEEN 3 to give director Patrick Lussier ample time to work the 3-D into that film.

Of course, some are already speculating that MGM, who is having noted financial difficulties as of late, could just want to push CABIN IN THE WOODS back to their 2011 fiscal year.  Either way you slice it, the film is coming out a year after its anticipated release date. And, whether we like it or not, it will, evidently, be presented in 3-D.