HOTEL ARTEMIS – Review

So film fans, are you up for an action-filled visit to the future? Now, this trek isn’t of the “star” variety, we’re not “warp-speeding” to far-off planets in a far-off century. This story is very earth-bound, much like the two BLADE RUNNER flicks, and also within this twenty-first century. The skies aren’t filled with flying cars, rather the sun is nearly obliterated from billowing smoke rising off bombed-out buildings and street skirmishes. Tomorrow’s not a glistening utopia in the next decade, but we’re not a MAD MAX wasteland quite yet. Oh, and this story doesn’t focus on the forces of law and order like Max and Rick Deckard. No, the central setting (really, almost the only setting) is a haven for criminals, a “members-only” secret hospital that’s taken over several floor of LA’s crumbling HOTEL ARTEMIS.

It’s 2028, exactly ten years from now, and Los Angeles is a war zone. Seems that the water distribution company has hiked the cost of precious fluid, sending the lower classes into the streets to protest (and things get ugly quickly). What a perfect time for a bank heist, or so thinks a quartet of dapper robbers. When things go south, they attempt to blend in with the rioters, but they instead get into a fire fight with heavily armed riot responders. After taking on lead, the remaining trio dash to Hotel Artemis which is run by a “stitch-em-up” medical whiz known only as the “Nurse” (Jodie Foster). When the robbers buzz the secret entrance, they are instructed to turn in their weapons (one of many rules there) and place their wrists next to a scanner to make sure they are “paid-in-full” members entitled to the Nurse’s services. One of the men is not in good standing, so he is shown the door (alley actually) by the hulking orderly known as Everest (Dave Bautista). The other two men are admitted and given code names based on their hotel rooms, which are named for idyllic vacation locales. Wakiki (Sterling K. Brown) has several minor wounds while his kid brother Honolulu (Bryan Tyree Henry) is in rough shape, with a major organ is full of holes (luckily the 3-D printer is put to use). But those men aren’t the only patients. Also recovering is Acapulco (Charlie Day), an obnoxious arms dealer anxious to escape the city. And there’s the exotic assassin Nice (Sofia Boutella). And even though she’s in recovery from a bullet hole in the hand, Nice is still secretly on a job. But who is her target? Things get more complicated when the Nurse spies a familiar face in the street via a  monitor just outside the entrance. It’s Morgan (Jenny Slate), an injured officer pleading for help. But cops are a big “no-no”, so what’s a nurse to do? Then a call comes in from aspiring gangster Crosby (Zachary Quinto). His father, the crime kingpin known as the “Wolf” AKIA Niagara (Jeff Goldblum) is badly hurt and will go nowhere closer (they’re about 50 minutes away). He bankrolled the hotel, so the Nurse can’t turn him away. How will the Nurse juggle all these “clients’ on what she calls”a typical Wednesday”?

What makes this flick different from most crime thrillers is not the near-future setting. No, what sets it apart is the triumphant acting return (five years, whoa) of Ms. Foster as the complex, compelling Nurse. She gives this character role a true star performance, becoming a woman seeming much older than her years, who’s beaten down by life and loss. That past finally bubbles back, refusing to go down the drain, but she never loses her steely demeanor and compulsion to repair the damage (“doctor, heal thyself’ applies). The Nurse is both the story’s anchor and driving force, and Foster handles the task superbly (welcome back). This is also a showcase for the talented Brown, best known for his TV work though he’s had a few supporting film roles (MARSHALL, BLACK PANTHER). Now he’s ready for movie leads, as he fills the screen with cool charisma in the tradition of Wesley Snipes and Denzel Washington. Wakiki is in control even as he must deal with a former flame played with sultry sass by the alluring Ms. Boutella, who we last saw in another deadly romance in ATOMIC BLONDE. Another great physical pretense is the towering Bautista, once again flexing his impressive comedic skills (his Drax effortlessly steals scenes in the big Avengers flick) as the Nurse’s enforcer/aide, or as he so humorously says, “a medical professional”. Speaking of scene stealers, and more cool charisma, Goldblum scores big laughs as the quirky kingpin tossing off real threats laced with casual cruelty. There’s also great work by Quinto as a sweaty, easily annoyed heir to a blood dynasty, and by Slate in a rare dramatic role as the key to the Nurse’s inner torment. The film’s only weak link may be the grating much too over-the-top screeching by Day as a most unlikely arms dealer. The charm he had in the HORRIBLE BOSSES flick is sadly absent.It’s just a poorly conceived, unnecessary character.

This marks the feature directing debut of Drew Pearce, who also penned the snarky, clever script (he was one of the writers on IRON MAN 3). He’s crafted a future that could easily be reached in a decade, much like the rom-com HER. Along with his crack production team they’ve made that future gritty and grimy, particularly the title hotel which has much better days. It’s a cavernous crypt with threadbare rugs and flickering bulbs. You can smell the musty death that lingers in those hallways. Then there’s the pain, as Pearce shows us that bullets do lasting, sweaty damage. Of course there’s also some great action set pieces including the botched bank job and one person facing an army in a tight hallway (still effective, so many years after OLDBOY, but in danger of becoming a cliché). This is coupled with some great suspense sequences (an army is busting in), claustrophobia (the rioters threaten at every opening) and comedy from Bautista and Goldblum. Buoyed by the fabulous Foster, HOTEL ARTEMIS floats above its “B” action programmer roots, making it worth a short stay.

4 Out of 5