TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES – The Review

The mean and green “heroes in a half-shell” have repeatedly been reintroduced for almost three decades. You almost lose track of all the different versions when you stop to think about it. In fact, they weren’t even green when they first graced the comic pages. Creators Peter Laird and Kevin Eastman drew the crime-fighting brothers in black and white all wearing the same masks and basically looking identical. Many comic historians are quick to point out that their creation almost seemed to signal a revolt or a poking-fun at the multitude of characters that happen to be born from “freak accidents” in comic book lore. It wasn’t until the late 80’s cartoon that the characters reached a new level of popularity that many nostalgic fans often now look upon fondly; even if the show lacked the grittiness that the original creators had intended. From there we got a trio of live-action films that range from being a solid piece of 90’s camp to a cheap time-traveling adventure that many consider to be one of the lowest points in the history of the characters. Action figures sold at rapid speed. Comics came and went. An attempt at a new live action series was more putrid than their home in the sewers. Even another attempt at reigniting the feature film careers of the Turtles came in 2007 with the shortened title of just TMNT; certainly not as forgettable as some may think, if only for the fact that it features an astonishing rooftop fight between two of the brothers. Yet it took another attempt at a cartoon series in 2012 to finally come close to the level of popularity that the turtles first saw in the late 80’s. The recent Nickelodeon series instantly connected with nostalgic fans and new kids, as it was the first time in awhile that we saw an incarnation embrace the action of the original comics with the description of the title’s namesake. They truly acted like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The computer-animated cartoon is still a wild success that continues to get better even now in its third season.

Michael Bay and his team clearly noticed this success and seem to think that they can repeat the succession of events that followed the popular cartoon in the 80’s to the first live-action film that became a huge financial success (garnering over $200 worldwide). And so now the turtles are born again. TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES (2014) has had a long and troubling road to the screen. The new film was met with such animosity once Michael Bay’s name was attached that the all too common fanboy phrase “(insert name here) ruined my childhood” had a new target. It’s a ridiculous phrase filled with vitriol and misplaced emotions. For starters, very few fans have even seen the new film yet and are judging a film by its trailers. Furthermore, I firmly believe that the childhood memories of these crying fanboys are completely intact. I’d even argue that their memories are more rewarding than if they actually rewatched what they’re worshipping so emphatically. So with that, I’d actually encourage fans to see Bay’s new incarnation of the “heroes in a half-shell.” You might be surprised that the team of writers and director Jonathan Liebesman have nailed the characterizations and reminded fans why we love these ragtag crime-fighters so much; even if the film struggles to appeal to fans both young and old.

TURTLES opens with a stylized comic-book intro that gives us a reminder of how these mutated turtles came to fight against the ever-growing “Foot” clan. Why we get this intro and an even more detailed flashback later seems superfluous but that’s kind of nitpicking. It’s a cool opening that acknowledges the source material. From there we meet April O’Neil (Megan Fox). She’s an intrepid reporter that stops at nothing to get the scoop, even if that means being ridiculed by her fellow news anchors. While investigating the activities of the underground criminal gang “The Foot,” April catches a glimpse of a vigilante attempting to thwart their plan of sneaking toxic chemicals into New York. Her investigation of the masked vigilante comes to a head one night after a charity dinner where she comes face to face with not one, but four masked turtles. It isn’t until the crime-fighting group return to their sewer home and consult with their father figure Master Splinter (a giant, talking rat) that a connection is made between April, Sack’s Chemical (headed by William Fichtner), and the evil “Foot” leader Shredder.

For better and for worse, April O’Neil seems to guide the film along. I say this because I was pleasantly surprised by Megan Fox’s energy in the role. Even the writers have treated the character as more than just a damsel in distress or a sexual object like in Bay’s previous films. One could argue that she’s more of the main character than the “vigilantes” she’s tracking. And with that, comes the main issue with the film – we really only see the Turtles through April. Never do we really just get a scene outside of her involvement or one not through her eyes. Director Jonathan Liebesman seems content in having her be our tour guide to the sewers. The problem with this is that we then don’t spend as much time with our title heroes as the film really should.

Much of the first 30 minutes is spent keeping the Turtles in the shadows. This probably didn’t bother me as much as it did some of the kids in the audience (more on that later), as I felt the setup is kind of refreshing compared to just having the Turtles ugly noses in your face right away. It is a slow buildup but the payoff is worth it. TV commercials and trailers don’t necessarily do the Turtles justice. They work on-screen in the context of the film but are still obnoxiously ugly. I’m still not completely sold on the design of the Turtles, but I’d much rather spend the time watching their onscreen antics than that of their human counterparts. William Fichter’s character seems especially thin and pointless in the film. His presence is meant to connect some dots in the story but the majority of the time he’s left to just reveal exposition… followed by foreshadowing… followed by plot-point… followed by… you get the idea. And even though the changes in the Turtles appearance can be jarring, at least it’s not nearly as bad as the big baddie Shredder, who resembles a cross between a Transformer and a Swiss Armyknife.

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES often feels slightly confused. Mainly it doesn’t fully achieve the goal it sets out for. It tries to stimulate kids but then also appeal to older fans. In the process of this it ultimately falls in a weird middle ground that neither party fully embraced at my screening (which was filled with a large number of kids and older geeks). Jokes only work part of the time and overly long explanations for everything from William Fichtner’s past, to the Turtles creation in a lab, to a toxin that will be unleashed on New York, all bog down what could have been more of a fun popcorn film. It isn’t until the Turtles have to make a daring escape down a snowy mountain that the film feels free of the burden of an origin-story that seems tied to its shell. We are finally treated to a silly but fun sequence that shows the Turtles working together just as brothers would. It’s an exciting ride that is documented through fluid camerawork that seems to weave in and out of military Humvees and a giant semi-truck.

The one major thing this new film incarnation does get right is the characterizations. As a longtime fan, I can tell you that they got each of the four’s traits and personalities down pat. Michelangelo, with his one-liners about cat videos and pop culture references will likely be the most loved of the bunch for the kids. Raphael, being the obvious favorite among the older crowd, is treated to a few scenes where he can get riled-up and act like the loose cannon that he is. Donatello is always game to play more in the background but is given a few great scenes here where he really shines (and it wasn’t just the reflection off his nerd glasses). If any of them gets the shaft it’s Leonardo. He will always be the stoic leader but is never explained why he was chosen to be such in this version. Through thick and thin these four fighters are brothers, and in the end, the idea of companionship and working together as a family rings true. This is a great message for a “kids film,” but the issue of whether it truly is one or not comes into question when you consider all the gun violence and lines such as “we’re getting our asses kicked.” With a soft PG-13 rating, it’s not exactly button-pushing but does have a few moments that might concern parents.

For the most part TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES is harmless fun and is easily one of the better versions of the Ninja Turtles that we’ve seen, but certainly not the best. Yes, it’s way above the last two live-action Turtle films that I saw in theaters in ’91 and ’93 respectively, but that’s not saying much considering one of the films ended with a guitar solo blowing Shredder through a wall. The great thing about the characters is that there are so many versions that fans have embraced over the years. Everyone has his or her favorite Turtle and a favorite cartoon, comic or movie. Even though nostalgia should lead me to embrace the original 1990 film, I’ve recently grown to love the new Nickelodeon show that’s airing every Sunday morning. Are new viewers entering the sewer for the first time with this film going to some day look back longingly upon this version? Considering that there will most likely be dozens of new versions around the corner in the years to come, I’d be willing to bet that this film will land somewhere in the middle – which isn’t always the best spot to be.

OVERALL RATING: 2.5 out of 5

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES is now out in theaters everywhere