ON SWIFT HORSES – Review

One of this weekend’s big film releases is yet another cinematic ride in Doc Brown’s DeLorean to what many believe to be a simpler, more “fun” era. Of course, last week, SINNERS dispelled such notions about the oh-so segregated 1930s (and then tossed vampires into the mix). It’s appropriate that I referenced that 1985 classic, since this new film is also set in the 1950s, those “Happy Days” referred to in the classic TV show (shessh, it’s over forty years old now). Sure, it was the birthplace of great rock and roll, but for certain minorities, it was a time to be very careful to the point of hiding in the shadows. While this film also briefly touches on race, its main focus is on sexual orientation, which could also lead to harsh punishments from all sides (including the courts). Perhaps that’s why one of the characters in this tale wants to escape the repressive era by any means available, including cars, trains, and ON SWIFT HORSES.

This story begins in 1954, not long after the end of the Korean War. Muriel (Daisy Edgar-Jones) shares her family’s home in Kansas with her long-time boyfriend (he keeps proposing), soldier-on-leave Lee (Will Poulter). He’s got big plans to move West as soon as his brother joins them. Finally, his sibling, Julius (Jacob Elordi) arrives, informing them that he has been discharged from the service, offering a vague explanation. Still, Lee is stoked that he will join the couple in California. Ah, but Julius has the “wanderlust” and, after giving Muriel some “card shark” tips, he leaves before dawn. In the following months, Lee finishes his stint in the service, and the two move West where he toils in a factory where Muriel is a waitress in a diner frequented by some fellows who “play the ponies” (she listens and makes some profitable wagers without telling her now husband). Meanwhile, Julius earns a “bankroll” from midnight poker games and as a gigolo, which soon lands him in Vegas. He gets a job in an off-strip casino watching the tables from the “rafters” and alerting the pit bosses to cheating gamblers. Soon, Julius is joined in the steamy “attic” by the dark and brooding Henry (Diego Calva). Eventually, the co-workers share an apartment and become much more than roommates, having to keep their passion very, very private. Back in San Diego, Lee and Muriel finally have enough saved (she’s still hiding most of her “winnings”) to get one of the “tract” houses in a new suburban development neighborhood. But Muriel is more interested in one of the locals, a woman with a chicken business (mainly eggs), an aspiring musician named Sandra (Sasha Calle). And soon, these two become much more than neighbors. Can Muriel keep her gambling and her Lesbian affair a secret from Lee? And what will happen when Julius and Henry try to take down the other Vegas casinos? Will the old “Kansas trio” ever reunite?


This tale of forbidden secret love is almost equally split between Muriel and Julius, though she may have the more complex conflicts. As Muriel, Edgar-Jones expertly embodies the typical steadfast supportive housewife of that time, though we can catch her eyes darting about as she formulates a way to go after her compulsion (the gambling) and desires (Sandra, mainly). We feel Muriel’s yearning to break out of her destined societial role, while wanting to shield Lee. And yet, there’s that connection with Julius, played with a dark, brooding charm by Elordi. He’s a restless spirit who never wants to be tethered down, sneaking away quickly (perhaps the ‘swiftest horse”). And then he finds his own liberation by his devotion to Henry, perhaps wanting to ‘settle down” like Muriel, but having to keep his true self hidden from the world. As his brother Lee, Poulter brings great empathy to a role that could easily be a stereotypical “clueless cuckold”, but instead is a good, loyal man trying to understand the change in the two people he adores. Calva makes Henry a fiery, spirited rebel. who wants nothing more than to be alongside Julius in their romantic “bubble”. Calle, as Sandra, has much of that same smouldering persona, coupled with a snarky line delivery, and a determination not to be the fun “side fling” for Muriel. Also of note is Don Swayze as the sneering surly casino pit boss and Kat Cumming as the bombshell blonde who fans the flames of Muriel’s liberated libido.

In just his second feature film, after decades helming “prestige” TV programs, director Daniel Minahan superbly recreates the postwar West while shattering the often “rose-colored” tint of nostalgia, reminding us that the “good ole’ days” didn’t extend to everyone. Minahan gives us the bright diners and casinos, while also giving us the clandestine gay meeting spots an aura of real danger and doom, with those secret revelers always keeping an eye out for the “morality enforcers”. The dialogue is sharp and very witty in Bryce Kass’ screenplay adaptation of the novel by Shannon Pufahl, though the romance of Muriel and Sandra feels more rushed as compared to the evolving relationship of Julius and Henry. In some ways, this feels like a companion piece to BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN, with the era’s repressions and hidden affairs, though the story never quite hits the heights of that ground-breaking classic. Still, the performances are solid, and the period fashions and locales are splendid (including the “yechh” chain-smoking). ON SWIFT HORSES is a very well-crafted look at a time when expressing your true self to love was the biggest gamble.

3 Out of 4

ON SWIFT HORSES is now playing in select theatres

NOVOCAINE (2025) – Review

Last month, we got the first of the 2025 movie superheroes to arrive as the new Captain America threw his shield down the hallway of the multiplex (and hopefully “konked” the Red Hulk). Now we’ve got a few weeks until the second “wave” washes up with those THUNDERBOLTS, so what will tide the fans over till then, eh? How about a mild-mannered guy who doesn’t don spandex, fly, or even punch holes in concrete walls? Yes, he doesn’t have a real “super power,” but he’s got a lil’ “something special” that sets him apart from us. You may just figure out “his deal” by his nickname, which also happens to be the title of this new (not from a graphic novel or video game) action comedy thriller, so let’s give NOVOCAINE a shot (sorry, bad dental pun).

This dude’s actual name is Nathan “Nate” Caine (Jack Quaid), a “mild-mannered” thirty-something who is the assistant manager at a San Diego bank. We first meet him at the start of his work day at his modest apartment. Hmm, why do tennis ball covers adorn the door knobs and the edges of his tables (coffee and kitchen)? That’s something to ponder as he enjoys a banana and kale shake right out of the blender for breakfast. He’s at the bank early for a pre-Christmas “pep” talk from his boss. The only person who’s late is Nate’s unrequited “work crush,” a fetching new teller named Sherry (Amber Midthunder). Later, they encounter each other in the break room as she accidently bumps into him as he’s pouring very hot coffee into a mug filled with ice cubes (weird). Nate doesnt yell in agony as the liquid scalds his hands. Sherry feels so bad that she invites him to Lunch as an apology. At her favorite diner, she orders her usual cherry pie while Nate gets a vanilla milkshake. After many attempts to offer him a bite of her pie, Nate confesses to his “gift”. He has a medical condition that doesn’t allow him to feel pain. And now it’s only liquids, so he won’t somehow bite off his tongue (eww). And his watch alarm goes off every three hours to remind him to empty his bladder (again, eww). This doesn’t disgust Sherry; maybe it intrigues her, So they decide to meet later for drinks. Before that, Nate drops by his home for a quick online game while on the phone to his only pal, though they’ve never met in person, video game opponent Roscoe (Jacob Batalon). At the bar, Nate runs into an old school mate who reveals his middle school nickname, “Novocaine”. And yet Sherry goes home with Nate, and, well; let’s say he can feel pleasure. Things don’t get “weird” at work the next day until three heavily armed Santas waltz in and rob the place. They take Sherry hostage and force Nate to open the vault. The police arrive, but the trio has superior firepower and drives away in two vehicles. Nate is sure that they’ll murder Sherry unless he takes action by swiping the gun and car of the wounded cops. Can he get to her in time? And can his “power” somehow give him the advantage over the dangerous heist crew?


Let’s get this out of the way: the film has not one but two “nepo-babies” in its cast. One is the lead, Mr. Quaid, though he’s already made a name for himself in several films and TV shows before his big breakout role in Amazon Prime’s streaming hit “The Boys”, which happens to deal with enhanced folks (though he’s not one). Well, the role of Nate is the showcase that could propel him into “leading man” territory. And that’s great because Quaid is quite engaging here as a “nice guy” who is finally breaking free of the protective cocoon he’s wrapped around his body (and especially his heart). He conveys the soaring joy of new love and a chance for freedom, which fuels his surprising heroism. But Quaid also has a great knack for slapstick as he contorts himself to evade the thugs, much like the silent film “clowns”, before being propelled by the furious fists that do connect. In one sequence, he really shines as he feigns agony during torture to “buy some time”. His action “dancing” is superb, but he’s tenuous and tender with Ms. Midthunder (so great in the “should’ve-been-in-theatres” PREDATOR prequel PREY). She’s fun and flirty, as she interacts with this “odd duck” over pie and drinks even “special shots”). The two have a sweet chemistry in their “getting to know you” exchanges as Shirley finds Nate’s quirkyness attractive. But we’ve got to have the baddies, who are led by the other “NB”, Ray Nicholson, son of Jack, who flashes that demented grin as he unleashes all manner of mayhem on law enforcement and the determined Nate. Luckily, Nate gets some great back-up, just like Holland’s Spidey, from the funny Batalon, whose Roscoe “pumps us his persona” while being in a panic over his probable ties to Nate’s somewhat illegal pursuits. Which also raises the interest of two veteran cops, who are always a few steps behind, played by Betty Gabriel, who may be the “good cop” as she’s often sympathetic (while tracing a call from Nate), and Matt Walsh, not the “bad cop” but rather a really exhausted one, who only wants to wrap theings up and do Christmas with the “fam”.


This bit of high concept chaos was helmed by the “tag team” directing duo of Dan Berk and Robert Olsen, who add lots of visual flourish to Lars Jacobson’s script. It’s an interesting twist on superhero tropes, though we can often feel its legacy, with Nate as a kid brother to Stanley Ipkess of THE MASK (he’s shy and smitten, too), mixed with DARKMAN and KICK-ASS, both without pain receptors. Some have made comparisons to Marvel’s THE WOLVERINE, though he’s got that self-healing mutant ability. Nate must constantly “self-repair” with bandages, ointments, “superglue,” and even staples. And then the loss of blood drains him so much that he needs a “jolt” from an EpiPen (much like Spinach for the OG superhero POPEYE). And that’s a big problem with the film as Berk and Olsen, go overboard with the painful slashing and stabbing, sadistically zooming in on Nate’s oozing injuries until the viewer is almost numb to each new bit of practical effect gore. It’s not helped by several “leaps of logic” (a “deep-fried” pistol still works) that get to pile up during the film’s tring 110-minute length, which affords it the opportunity to keep piling on endings and final showdowns (he’s down and…he’s up). Mind you, there’s a lot of charm in that engaging tender romance of Shirley and Nate, but it’s tossed aside for double and triple-crosses and squirm-inducing scenes of “emergency room” nightmares. Action fans will get their “John Wick-lite” fixes, and Quaid’s stunned reaction shots are pretty amusing, but the mayhem tends to get monotonous, making most moviegoers feel as though their keisters somehow got an extra-strong dose of NOVOCAINE.

2 Out of 4

NOVOCAINE is now playing in theatres everywhere

KINGSMAN : THE SECRET SERVICE Press Conference – COMIC-CON 2014

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Press members at the KINGSMAN : THE SECRET SERVICE press conference during San Diego Comic-Con 2014 learned a valuable lesson – Turn your phone off or Samuel L. Jackson will answer it!

That’s right. During the 15 minute press conference Samuel L. Jackson answered someones ringing telephone, and toyed with the person on the other end. Jackson was there, along with Colin Firth, Taron Egerton, Sophie Cookson, Sofia Boutella and Co-Creators Mark Millar and Dave Gibbons to talk about the upcoming film, slated to release October 24, 2014. Check it out below.

Based upon the acclaimed comic book and directed by Matthew Vaughn (Kick Ass, X-Men First Class), Kingsman: The Secret Service tells the story of a super-secret spy organization that recruits an unrefined but promising street kid into the agency’s ultra-competitive training program just as a global threat emerges from a twisted tech genius.

KINGSMAN : THE SECRET SERVICE hits theaters OCTOBER 24, 2014

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Melissa’s Look Back : Comic-Con 2014 (Photo Gallery)

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Ah… another San Diego Comic-Con has come and gone, but thanks to smart phones, we can hold on to as many memories as our sim cards can hold. This year, not only did I get to attend some amazing press room panels, talk to some incredible actors, directors and animators, and view the latest trailers (so be sure to keep checking back)… I also got to walk the floor and have a little fun. These are my personal photos. From my iPhone to your screen… enjoy!

Also, be sure to share your Comic-Con memories below. I’d love to read/see what some of your favorite moments!

Remember to comment below and share some of your favorite Comic-Con 2014 moments with us!

Stay Fancy,
Melissa

THE HOBBIT : THE BATTLE OF THE FIVE ARMIES at Comic-Con 2014

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Today, at San Diego Comic-Con 2014, the cast of THE HOBBIT : THE BATTLE OF THE FIVE ARMIES talked to a small room of press about the final film in the trilogy. Check it out below.

Also, the films first poster made its debut, and Hall H was treated to the first teaser trailer of the film. You can check out the poster at the end of this post.

From Academy Award -winning filmmaker Peter Jackson comes THE HOBBIT : THE BATTLE OF THE FIVE ARMIES, the third in a trilogy of films adapting the enduringly popular masterpiece ‘The Hobbit’, by J.R.R. Tolkien.

THE HOBBIT : THE BATTLE OF THE FIVE ARMIES brings to an epic conclusion the adventures of Bilbo Baggins, Thorin Oakenshield and the Company of Dwarves. Having reclaimed their homeland from the Dragon Smaug, the Company has unwittingly unleashed a deadly force into the world. Enraged, Smaug rains his fiery wrath down upon the defenseless men, women and children of Lake-town.

Obsessed above all else with reclaiming his treasure, Thorin sacrifices friendship and honor to hoard it as Bilbo’s frantic attempts to make him see reason drive the Hobbit towards a desperate and dangerous choice. But there are even greater dangers ahead. Unseen by any but the Wizard Gandalf, the great enemy Sauron has sent forth legions of Orcs in a stealth attack upon the Lonely Mountain.

As darkness converges on their escalating conflict, the race of Dwarves, Elves and Men must decide – unite or be destroyed. Bilbo finds himself fighting for his life and the lives of his friends in the epic Battle of the Five Armies, as the future of Middle-earth hangs in the balance.

THE HOBBIT : THE BATTLE OF THE FIVE ARMIES will release worldwide in December 17, 2014

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‘Jonah Hex’ Banner from Comic Con 2009

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Bloody Disgusting snapped the above photo from San Diego Comic Con 2009 of the ‘Jonah Hex’ one sheet banner. It looks pretty badass but as you can see Megan Fox is up front and center which means they are trying to exploit her “small role” in the film.

Here is what we know of the synopsis so far:

a bounty hunter Jonah Hex (Brolin) in the late 19th century tracking down voodoo practitioner Quentin Turnbull (Malkovich), who plans to free the Confederate South with an army of the undead. In contrast, Jimmy Palmiotti, a comic book writer for Jonah Hex, denied that Turnbull would be a voodoo practitioner in the film.

As you can see there is no mention of Fox in there, but she will be playing the love interest Leila who is some sort of gun wielding badass.