ZOOLANDER 2 – The Review

If the sheer number of celebrity cameos could make a comedy funny, ZOOLANDER 2 would be hilarious. It is not. In fact, ZOOLANDER 2 is a dull, overloaded slog that it is more likely to evoke snores than laughs.

Even for those who loved the original, ZOOLANDER 2 (also known as “Zoolander No. 2,” in a little Chanel reference that illustrates the film’s level of cliche comedy) does not offer much and tops the list as candidate for this year’s most unneeded sequel. Oh, there are a few chuckles in this follow-up to Ben Stiller’s send-up of dim-witted models and the fashion world, but there are just not enough of them to keep the audience awake through most of this slow-moving, plot-heavy movie. The movie is basically made up of quoted song lyrics, and movie references and cliches, and several plots, all seasoned with a mind-boggling number of celebrity cameos.

ZOOLANDER 2 may have more cameos that any other recent film. These cameos feature not only actors but musicians, pop culture personalities, TV news figures and even actual fashion industry icons. The list ranges from Justin Bieber to Sting to Willie Nelson, from Benedict Cumberbatch to John Malkovich to Susan Sarandon, and from astrophysicist Neil DeGrasse Tyson to actual fashion icons Anna Wintour and Tommy Hilfiger (what are the odds a project would feature both Tyson and Wintour?). Actually, the film’s few comic moments are generally linked to these familiar names and faces popping up in some unexpected place. Some of the cameos are mere walk-ons but others are more extended, like Benedict Cumberbatch’s bit as a transgender fashion model named All. The vast array of cameos might entice some to see ZOOLANDER 2 but, remember, you have to sit through a whole dull film to see them.

In ZOOLANDER 2, “ridiculously good-looking” but dim-witted male fashion models Derek Zoolander (Ben Stiller) and Hansel (Owen Wilson) set out to get their fashionista mojo back after a decade and a half out of the business. The one-time top models’ style have not changed but the fashion world has moved on without them, as they discover when they show up to work a runway fashion show in Rome for top-designer Alexanya Atoz (Kristen Wiig). Before traveling to Rome, Derek had been in hiding, living like a “hermit crab,” after losing custody of his son, Derek, Jr. (Cyrus Arnold), following the death of his wife, who was killed when the building housing his “Derek Zoolander Center for Kids Who Can’t Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too” collapsed on her. Once in Rome, Derek and Hansel are contacted by Interpol, who are trying to figure out who is killing pop celebrities. They are assigned to Valentina Valencia (Penelope Cruz), an agent in the fashion division of Interpol (yep, the fashion police).

Of course, neither Stiller nor Wilson are “ridiculously good-looking,” which is part of the joke as Derek and Hansel lead us on a smirking if remarkably tame fashion-and-pop culture romp while the two has-been models try to bring their 20th century style back into fashion. Like the original, Ben Stiller directed and co-wrote ZOOLANDER 2, which reunites him and Wilson in their dumb-and-dumber fashion model shtick, with Will Farrell also returning as strangely-coiffed villain Mugato. The movie opens with perhaps its best scene, an action-movie chase that ends with Justin Bieber riddled with bullets outside Sting’s house in Rome, and an overwrought death scene that terminates with a dying Bieber sharing one last selfie before he goes. When Zoolander finally finds his son, he is horrified that the boy is fat – the ultimate fashion crime. The boy, who is smart, is equally horrified his father is so dumb.

All this preposterous stuff could have been fun but ZOOLANDER 2 both overloads the movie with too many plots and mishandles the comedy. Some scenes are played too straight or low-key,and the movie lingers too long on bits that are not working while tossing in new comic bits like pies flying through the air in a Keystone silent comedy, bits of humor that get buried before the film can exploit any actual comic potential. Rather than poking fun at the fashion industry, the fashion industry is in on the joke this time around. ZOOLANDER 2 mixes a James Bond-ish thriller with a redemption tale of reconnecting with Zoolander’s estranged son while the two models make a fashion world comeback. The movie also blends in bits of other movie genres and individual films, including a spoof of soul-searching dramas. The mashed-up story keeps adding twists, absurdities and song-and-movie references (as well as the ever-increasing number of cameos) until the whole overloaded mess topples over – like a 7-year-old’s build-it-yourself sundae, so loaded with toppings and whipped cream that it becomes an unappetizing sight.

If Ben Stiller’s aim is to transition to directing, this style of comedy might not be his best choice. Stiller does have talent, as shown in his subtler, more effective comic touch in Noah Baumbach’s “While We’re Young.” He might do better directing something in that sly, smart style of humor rather than this movie’s obvious, overworked vein of comedy. Or maybe go back to TROPIC THUNDER, for the silly side.

ZOOLANDER 2 is a true stinker, the kind of unfunny, nap-inducing comedy likely to be a future Razzie nominee. Even if you liked the first ZOOLANDER, and Ben Stiller’s work generally, film-goers might want to skip this one, unless they just feel the urge to nap in a movie theater.

ZOOLANDER 2 OPENS NATIONWIDE ON FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 12

OVERALL RATING:  1 OUT OF 5 STARS