TOP TEN TUESDAY: Worst Films Of 2011
Why, hey there all you fancy kids out there… It’s time for another delicious Top Ten brought to you by the WAMG gang!
So sit back, relax, and enjoy our picks for the
TOP TEN WORST FILMS OF 2011
In our opinon, anyway… I mean, we are just a bunch of movie lovers who were less than fond of the films below. Hey, they aren’t all winners! So let’s jump right in and start with number 10.
10. Red Riding Hood
Opened March 11, 2011
Opening Weekend: $14,005,335
Domestic Box Office: $37,662,162
In Theaters: 77 days / 11 weeks
The tagline on the poster read, ‘Believe the Legend. Beware the Wolf.’ It left off ‘Be ready to lose two hours you’ll never get back’. A bloodthirsty werewolf terrorizes a rural village and the paying public in this terrifyingly awful take on the classic fairytale of RED RIDING HOOD. Director Catherine Hardwicke (TWILIGHT, yeah, need we say more??) has set a bunch of modern characters into the days of old, only to be made more cringing with foolish overacting, dreadful dialogue and the ripping off of BEAUTY AND THE BEAST lines – “Let’s Kill the Beast!!” Either British thespians Julie Christie and Gary Oldman lost a bet or were in desperate need to make their house payments. There’s a big, bad wolf – only this time he and the full moon should’ve been left from rising.
09. Conan The Barbarian
Opened August 19, 2011
Opening Weekend: $10,021,215
Domestic Box Office: $21,295,021
In Theaters: 49 days / 7 weeks
No Arnold Schwarzenegger – no CONAN THE BARBARIAN! It’s that simple. Not only was the re-imagining silly and unnecessary, the 3D did nothing but hamper Lionsgate’s attempt to bring one of history’s most iconic action heroes to back to life. Fans became the hell-bent avengers to the memory of the original 1982 version of the boy born on the battlefield who grows into a hulking warrior seeking retribution for his father’s death. With all its ferocious beasts, CONAN THE BARBARIAN left the audience facing the most horrific of monster of all – the movie itself.
08. Dream House
Opened September 30, 2011
Opening Weekend: $8,129,355
Domestic Box Office: $21,302,340
In Theaters: 49 days / 7 weeks
DREAM HOUSE was a mystery story that had very little actual mystery, a thriller with few thrills. This stretched-thin, often deeply labored ghost story made its 85 minutes feel like 12 days as it weaved around situations of suspense and straight up horror. With a plot that hinged upon recycled twists from far better movies and a twist you could see coming in your sleep, DREAM HOUSE never worked as a thriller because it had no element of surprise. Stars Daniel Craig and Rachel Weisz met on this movie and married and while I’m glad to know that DREAM HOUSE was a positive experience for someone, I just wish it had been the viewer.
07. The Hangover Part II
Opened May 26, 2011
Opening Weekend: $85,946,294
Domestic Box Office: $254,464,305
In Theaters: 113 days / 16 weeks
Todd Phillips made such huge waves with the edgy, comedic THE HANGOVER, so much so there was actually some buzz for Oscar recognition. So, how does THE HANGOVER PART II fail so miserably when it’s directed by the very same person? It’s simple, really. The filmmakers made absolutely no effort to do anything original This is formulaic shlock on a level that redefines the textbook definition. THE HANGOVER PART II quite literally takes the first script, pulls out all the key details, but leaves the plot, characters and dialogue the same, replacing the empty spaces like blanks on a game of Mad Libs. Part I: Alan cares for a baby. Part II: Alan cares for a monkey. Part I: Stu loses a tooth. Part II: Stu gets a face tattoo. We could go on all day doing this, but you get the point. If HANGOVER PART II were actually HANGOVER PART I, it would have succeeded, but its not and therefore feels like an unwelcome episode of cinematic deja vu.
Opened July 8, 2011
Opening Weekend: $20,065,617
Domestic Box Office: $80,360,843
In Theaters: 112 days/ 16 weeks
The concept of Kevin James as stumbling likeable boob who talks to animals may have seemed like a winner on paper but James, a graceful fat funnyman in the John Candy/Chris Farley mold, was unable to transcend the thin story and weak script that the lightweight, family-friendly comedy THE ZOOKEEPER gave us. The film lacked the disarming silliness, adorable critters, and inspired gags kids crave and wasted the sheer personal appeal of James and Rosario Dawson. At 102 minutes, it seemed to run for several hours as James bumbled his way through a story that made less and less sense by the minute. THE ZOOKEEPER was the worst live-action kids movie of 2011.
05. Hoodwinked Too! Hood Vs. Evil
Opened April 29, 2011
Opening Weekend: $4,108,630
Domestic Box Office: $10,143,779
In Theaters: 84 days / 12 weeks
HOODWINKED TOO!:HOOD VS. EVIL is everything awful about modern feature animation in one loud, obnoxious, unending package. The character designs are ugly, the script is jammed with dated pop culture gags, and each character, no matter how insignificant, has to be voiced by a celebrity. Tedium and torture for movie audiences of all ages and a waste of artistic talents.
04. I Don’t Know How She Does It
Opened September 16, 2011
Opening Weekend: $4,402,201
Domestic Box Office: $9,662,284
In Theaters: 70 days /10 weeks
I DON”T KNOW HOW SHE DOES IT is a limp, whiney mess trying to pass itself off as a modern working mom comedy. The film can’t decide on a tone (characters being interviewed as in a ” mockumentary”, then the lead breaks the fourth wall to speak directly to the audience ) and wastes the talents of great comic actors ( Seth Myers, Olivia Munn, and as a drippy hubby Greg Kinnear ). Sarah Jessica Parker adds yet another entry to her growing list of movie misfires.
03. Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
Opened December 25, 2011
Opening Weekend: $72,348
Domestic Box Office As Of January 9th: $508,738
Still In Theaters
Two insufferable hours of sanctimonious Hollywood mush, EXTREMELY CLOSE AND INCREDIBLY LOUD aims so high and so has that much further to fall. A self-important look at one boy’s experience with the 9-11 tragedy, the end product has the oily feel of a cynical politician contemptuously reciting platitudes to a hopeful audience. It’s a picture that looks to be tailor-made for Academy consideration, with the supporting players, including Tom Hanks, Max Von Sydow, and Sandra Bullock, given big emotional scenes that are practically variations on their most lauded turns. But it’s this kid Thomas Horn, who’s in every scene, who gives the whiniest, most precocious, and unpleasant performance by a child actor in cinema history. You’re supposed to feel sympathy for him but I just wanted to knock him down and stomp on his neck!
02. Larry Crowne
Opened July 1, 2011
Opening Weekend: $13,096,065
Domestic Box Office: $35,608,245
In Theaters: 49 days / 7 weeks
What happened to Tom Hanks, the director of BAND OF BROTHERS? For that matter, what happened to Tom Hanks the actor? Hanks directed a pleasing debut feature in THAT THING YOU DO, but his sophomore effort falls with a loud thud. Co-written with Nia Vardalos (MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING), Hanks also stars as the title character, a down-on-his luck, happy-go-lucky do-gooder returning to school, with a hint of Andy Griffith, as subtle as garlic. Hanks draws on a heavily stereotypical performance to develop his dopey character, while Julia Roberts musters every ounce of her being to give a cold, emotionless and otherwise completely unlikable performance as Hanks’ love interest and college teacher. The story and the dialogue is so riddled with cliches you’d get more originality watching a marathon of B-grade film noir. Predictable, sappy, painfully unfunny… all accurate descriptions of this Hollywood romantic bomb.
01. Jack and Jill
Opened November 11, 2011
Opening Weekend: $25,003,575
Domestic Box Office: $71,974,493
In Theaters: 59 days / 8 1/2 weeks
If you went to the theater expecting this to be a good movie, then we can’t be friends anymore. Adam Sandler has knocked some funny films out of the park, but this might be the biggest blunder of his career. When did Sandler decide to take the Tyler Perry, Martin Lawrence cross-dressing route, and why did his friends not stop him? I could sit here and talk about the horrible acting, and Sandler’s annoying girly voice, but I would rather just throw my hands in the air and be done with it!
What do you think? What movies dissapointed you this year? We’d love to know!
Till next time,